I am planning a trip back to Kansas on February 9th. I am positive the Chiefs are going to win the super bowl and I am anticipating the 9th is the day the victory parade will be held. It is going to be so much fun. I can hardly wait:
Girls of Asian descent and raised in America are quite common in Las Vegas - I refer to them as China White's. Since moving to Colorado Springs I had not met one of them until the other night. She might have been the whitest of all the China White's I have met.
Her birth name is Sirum, or something like that. She says that everyone calls her "Sara." I met her at a bar in Manitou Springs. She was my waitress. She was a damn good waitress. Well, we struck up a conversation about what makes Manitou Springs so special - she tells me this - "I have been here for close to ten years and it's all the people that I enjoy most. It is a very ecclectic bunch in Manitou."
She is so pretty, not to mention quite a bit younger than me (I would guess twenty six) but, then again, you never know if you don't ask - so I say - "China White - How about you and me go out for a night on the town. I am new and could use a good tour guide." I didn't really call her China White, but I did ask her out. She smiles at me after the proposal and says - "I don't think so, but maybe I can bring you another beer?" As I prepare to leave I say one last thing before exiting - "China White, I hope to see you around. You remind me of the girls in Las Vegas." For some reason she didn't take the reference kind and thus gave me a dirty glare as I was walking out the door.
My roommate Fred is a manly man, both a scholar and a gentlemen. So whenever I have questions about certain things, I bend his ear - "The reason she didn't like you comparing her to a 'Vegas girl is simple. She thinks you are referring to her as easy or something of that nature." I tell Fred his statement is ludicrous and if she interpreted things that way then I do not need to be hanging around her any way.
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
The village idiot of Las Vegas and the marijuana eating deers.
My current abode in Colorado Springs sets nestled at 8000 feet in the mountains. It's a very nice place, I certainly have no reason to complain. Well, I take that back. I have found one reason to. All the fucking deer! Every where you turn there is a deer. You drive down the road, a deer. You look out your window, a deer. I think there are more deers in Colorado Springs than rats in the New York subways:
As all of us know - recreational marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado. So the other day I decide to visit one of the dope shops and purchase a small quantity for personal use. When I arrive home I promptly wrap the whole gram into a blunt wrap and step outside on the back porch to partake. As I am getting ready to light up the phone rings. I'd been waiting on a particular call so I decide to drop the joint on the grass and promptly walk inside to answer the phone. I would guess I was on the phone for thirty minutes, more or less. Any way, I walk outside and there are a couple of deers standing in the area where I had dropped my joint. I yell - "Get the fuck out of here!" My yell startles them and they bolt.
As I am walking up to the spot where I both dropped the joint and the deers were herded I get a sinking feeling in my stomach..."Those motherfuckers better not have done what I think they did. I swear I will shoot one of those bastards if they did." I arrive at the spot, look down, shake my head and think to myself - "Goddammit! You assholes!" Sure enough, one of the bastards munched my joint. After realizing it - I look over at the pack (they were now standing thirty yards or so from me) and promptly flip them the bird. I then yell - "I hope you assholes enjoyed it!"
As I sit here putting the finishing touches on my post I think to myself - "I sure wish it was legal to shoot deers from the back porch. If it was I would stand outside all day and pick the bastards off. It isn't like there are a shortage of them."
As all of us know - recreational marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado. So the other day I decide to visit one of the dope shops and purchase a small quantity for personal use. When I arrive home I promptly wrap the whole gram into a blunt wrap and step outside on the back porch to partake. As I am getting ready to light up the phone rings. I'd been waiting on a particular call so I decide to drop the joint on the grass and promptly walk inside to answer the phone. I would guess I was on the phone for thirty minutes, more or less. Any way, I walk outside and there are a couple of deers standing in the area where I had dropped my joint. I yell - "Get the fuck out of here!" My yell startles them and they bolt.
As I am walking up to the spot where I both dropped the joint and the deers were herded I get a sinking feeling in my stomach..."Those motherfuckers better not have done what I think they did. I swear I will shoot one of those bastards if they did." I arrive at the spot, look down, shake my head and think to myself - "Goddammit! You assholes!" Sure enough, one of the bastards munched my joint. After realizing it - I look over at the pack (they were now standing thirty yards or so from me) and promptly flip them the bird. I then yell - "I hope you assholes enjoyed it!"
As I sit here putting the finishing touches on my post I think to myself - "I sure wish it was legal to shoot deers from the back porch. If it was I would stand outside all day and pick the bastards off. It isn't like there are a shortage of them."
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
The village idiot of Las Vegas whistles and waves at the feminazis in Colorado Springs.
Often times in my life when I noticed an attractive women walking down the sidewalk or driving by in her car I would whistle and wave at her. Sometimes they would choose to ignore me, but more often then not they would smile and wave back. I view such an act as harmless. You know - just a nice way to compliment a women. It's not like I am being vulgar or anything. Just a harmless whistle and wave as they are passing by. With that said...don't try the "wolf whistle" in Colorado Springs. The feminazis living here will treat you as if you have the plague:
A little while back I was driving through Garden of the Gods when I look to my left and notice two attractive women walking on one of the trails. It was just instinct to whistle and wave at them as I was driving by - harmless enough - you would think. I whistle and wave and both immediately give me the foulest look I have ever seen, and then one yells, "Get lost creep!" I have to admit I was taken aback by their reaction, but then I decided to chalk it up as a couple of dycks having a bad day.
Well, a week later I am driving down main street in Manitou Springs when I spot another couple beauties walking down the sidewalk. Out of habit, I whistle and wave at them. Instead of smiling and waving back, which I was fully expecting, both flip me the middle finger.
After the second incident I decide to get another manly mans opinion. So I told my friend Fred about what happens when you whistle and wave at women in Colorado Springs, he says, "Women don't appreciate when guys do that. They see it as threatening." I say, "Jesus, that has to be women in Colorado. I have whistled and waved at literally a thousand women in my lifetime and most have smiled and waved back. I never received such an icy reception from doing it until I came to Colorado."
As I sit here putting the finishing touches on the post a certain thought is going through my mind - "Are things so politically correct nowadays that a guy can't even whistle and wave at an attractive women without looking like a pariah. If that is the case...Jesus. What is the world coming to?"
A little while back I was driving through Garden of the Gods when I look to my left and notice two attractive women walking on one of the trails. It was just instinct to whistle and wave at them as I was driving by - harmless enough - you would think. I whistle and wave and both immediately give me the foulest look I have ever seen, and then one yells, "Get lost creep!" I have to admit I was taken aback by their reaction, but then I decided to chalk it up as a couple of dycks having a bad day.
Well, a week later I am driving down main street in Manitou Springs when I spot another couple beauties walking down the sidewalk. Out of habit, I whistle and wave at them. Instead of smiling and waving back, which I was fully expecting, both flip me the middle finger.
After the second incident I decide to get another manly mans opinion. So I told my friend Fred about what happens when you whistle and wave at women in Colorado Springs, he says, "Women don't appreciate when guys do that. They see it as threatening." I say, "Jesus, that has to be women in Colorado. I have whistled and waved at literally a thousand women in my lifetime and most have smiled and waved back. I never received such an icy reception from doing it until I came to Colorado."
As I sit here putting the finishing touches on the post a certain thought is going through my mind - "Are things so politically correct nowadays that a guy can't even whistle and wave at an attractive women without looking like a pariah. If that is the case...Jesus. What is the world coming to?"
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