The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about online gaming...

"What's the word on the street about online gaming? When are they going to finally legalize online poker?" I was chatting with a buddy of mine from Las Vegas today and that was the first question he asked me. The legislature just passed a bill that outlines the framework of online poker. Long story short, Nevada is going to legalize online gaming and the real question turns to what the other states are going to do.

The regulatory framework for online gaming will be complex and costly. Nevada is the world standard when it comes to gaming. The governor of Nevada is named Brian Sandoval. Before he was governor, he ran the gaming control board for a number of years. He quotes a scenario like this. "Nevada will play a very crucial role once online gaming is legalized at the Federal level. Whether it be drafting regulatory framework or agreeing to compacts with other states. Nevada will be at the forefront of it all."

This paragraph is for the people who are paying attention to my belief's about Asian consumers. A well run book is going to net - four-six percent. The key is volume! Where can a business find volume for this or any other endeavor; I say the answer lies in Asian consumers.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I"m having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "My buddy told me the other day that my posts haven't been as funny lately. Right now, the last thing in the world I'm trying to be is funny. I'm being completely serious when I talk about Chinatown and Asian growth strategies. I invite anyone reading the blog to come to Las Vegas for a first hand look at what I'm talking about."

The village idiot of Las Vegas chats with Roxy...

"How many times do I have to tell you and this time I mean it for real! No good time for Roxy and Jethro without the going rate! God, I knew that I shouldn't have slept with you again. Look, it's not that I don't like you. Why don't you get a real job like most guys and maybe when I'm at the end of my game, the two of us could be a real thing?" Whenever I try to talk to Roxy about the two of us being together on a permanent basis, she always seems to come up with another excuse.

"Roxy, I'm just a dumb son of a bitch from Kansas who's trying to find his way out in Vegas. I know that you're way out of my league. Believe it or not, I think you have the makings of a business women." Dealing with Roxy is like dealing with a loan shark, all they care about is the money. Which is fine with me! The problem being; Roxy isn't buying into my new way of thinking as pertains to the Chinese.

"Jethro, I like that you've got the entrepreneurial spirit, but I agree with Jayball...You're not going to make any money hanging around Orientals. You're wasting your time. I think you should go back to 7-11 and see if they will give you your old job back." Roxy is a hell of a girl. She's beautiful, well traveled, classy. She's the kind of girl that every guy stares at. I haven't had too many girls like Roxy come my way. If only she would be a bit more open minded to my ideas.

My partner Kam told me something the other day as pertains to Roxy. "Why don't you wake up and smell the coffee. All this girl cares about is money. You don't need a girl like that. You need a girl who actually cares about you."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "My partner Kam is out of town for a week. He has to do something in Reno and then he's headed to San Francisco for a few days. When he arrives in the Bay area, he's scheduled to meet with a few of his friends from the Chinatown in San Francisco. He's going to fill them in on what the two of us have been doing. I'll be anxious to hear what they have to say."

The village idiot of Las Vegas invites an old buddy to town...

I got a message from an old friend of mine today; he was responding to my request for investment. "I appreciate your efforts on the matter but I'm going to pass. Your blogs don't provide enough detail for me." By now I'm used to people saying no so it doesn't bother me too much. The one thing I do have is a remedy for the person who wants to see details...Come out to Las Vegas and I will show you from A-Z what needs to happen. I can only blog about so much, it's much more explainable if you see it in person.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I saw an old friend of mine this weekend and he reminded me how much I missed all of you guys. I gave him the tour and it overwhelmed him a bit; but in the end he got it. He mentioned something about coming back to town towards the end of April. If anyone is interested in coming out with him let me know and I'll work on finding you a free room."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about reality shows and Asian viewing habits...

"Kam, remember when we talked with that guy from Nielsen, and he told us that the season finale of 'Super Girl' had 400 million viewers. Well, I did a little research on that figure, and I've come to a conclusion." Super Girl is a Chinese reality show that would be akin to American Idol. To put into prospective just how big 400 million viewers on a single night is: The most watched program on American television every year is the Super Bowl. Nielsen estimates that 100 million American viewers are watching the game at some point or another. Big as it gets in terms of media advertising.

"What's your point? The Chinese watch a lot of television." Kam is a no nonsense kind of guy. So I cut straight to it. "If 400 million people in China, on a single night, are willing to watch a reality show, which by the way is a four times greater number then Americans who watched the Super Bowl this year. Well, it tells me one thing. The television viewing habits of the Chinese are ripe for fragmentation."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I've been telling anyone who will listen that I have a great concept for a reality show. Picture a small town white guy from Kansas running around Las Vegas acting like a fool, add some Vegas spice, throw in a billion Chinese, and who knows what could come of it."

The village idiot of Las Vegas gives the Chinatown tour to an old friend from Kansas...

"Look, another one, it seems like every time I try to count all of the restaurants in Chinatown; I always seem to miss one. So to answer your question about how many restaurants are in Chinatown. I don't know, but I know they're a hell of a lot of them." An old buddy of mine was in town for the weekend, and he was curious about all the Chinatown stuff I've been blogging about, so I gave him the tour.

"Kam, pull into BBQ King, I want to show my friend something." Kam is my main man in Chinatown, and of late he has taken on the job of being my chauffeur, my car is a junker. BBQ King is a restaurant in the heart of Chinatown; he has a little piece of it. "Look at this buddy, if you turn to the right you see a Vietnamese sandwich shop, if you turn to the left another Chinese restaurant, now look behind you, a Thai place." Literally the places I'm describing are less then 30 yards from each other. "My partners and I have signed up all these places, with a gaggle more on the hook!"

When I first took my buddy to Chinatown; he was suffering from a mild case of what I like to call white boy shock. White boy shock tends to happen when you're the only white boy in the neighborhood. I got over mine a long time ago. Anyways, he knew what I was trying to get at. "Listen, I see what your trying to do. Let me process some things and get back to you." He knows that I'm trying to hit him up for investment and I know he won't invest a thing if he doesn't get what I'm talking about. So when he told me that, I left it alone. After we dropped him off at his resort, Kam asked me how long I had known him. "I first met my buddy from Kansas when I was 12. We met at a summer basketball camp. Turned out he was from a neighboring town, and we've been friends since."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I didn't get to spend a lot of time with my old friend this weekend, but that's OK. I drew a clear enough picture to give him a decent idea of what I'm talking about."

The village idiot of Las Vegas hangs out with a living legend...Part 8

You know what my friend Jayball told me the other day. He said that I reminded him of this dumb son of a bitch he knew back at NYU. "Jethro, it's a good thing that you don't live in New York or Boston." Jayball is a big city boy, the penthouse, the prep school, the weekends at Del Mar. My grand daddy would call it the life of Riley.

"Jethro, if you lived in a big town back East, you would be the guy who would get all of his money hustled from him in a shell game. They'd spot you a mile away. I can see it now, here comes Jethro, let's get ready to take his money, and the thing is, you'd be too gullible to know it was happening." A lot of times Jayball thinks that I'm some hillbilly who just fell off the turnip truck. The truth of the matter is that we have a fundamental disagreement on how the country will look in the future. He basically thinks things will stay the same, while I predict foreign consumers will be the wave of the future for entrepreneurship in this country.

"What do your friends think of you running around Chinatown, and your ideas about Asian growth strategies, and all this other shit you talk about? You ain't got a chance of making any money by hanging around a bunch of Orientals. When are you going to realize that?" Jayball has a pragmatic view on where a lot of things are headed in this country. The problem with him being a pragmatist is that he's excluding a lot of the real world out of his views. Most of the time I put up with his smart mouth because he is so cool, but I can only be a punching bag for so long before I'm forced to defend myself. 

"Listen Jayball, the coolest thing about you by a mile is that you are so popular with all the beautiful women in Las Vegas. That's what makes you Jayball! I could go to skip everything else. Listen, the Chinese are the largest consumers of luxury goods by a fucking mile! The gaming revenue in Macau is six times what Vegas does! They're forecasting a brand new middle class of 100 million people by 2020! Oh, don't forget to  take into account they're holding two trillion plus in currency reserves while we're in a seventeen trillion dollar hole: My grand daddy told me that it was important to read the writing on the wall. If you do that boy; you'll be way ahead of the average Joe. Those were his exact words. I'm just reading the writing on the wall when I talk about China."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "Guys like Jayball tend to only know one thing or have one way of thinking, which is fine with me. On the other hand, guys like me, and this may sound narcissistic to some? We tend to believe that opportunity lies in places that are different from the norm. That last statement is probably the best reason I'm a registered Libertarian."

The village idiot of Las Vegas checks out Jayball's new car.

"Damn boy, that's the latest model. Let's go for a ride," I hopped in the passenger side and he fired up the baby. It was the smell, oh that new car smell...there's nothing quite like it. The dash was cherry wood, leather seats and the engine purred like a kitty - "Jethro, check this out, the seats have warmers in them. So if your balls get cold you can warm them," he flips the switch and I immediately feel a  tingle. "What did you do with your old ride?" I ask.  Jayball's old ride was a 2012 Escalade - "Jethro, when I saw this bad boy at the dealership, I couldn't get it out of my mind. As much as I loved my Escalade. I had to have the Rover, so I traded her in," he says with a smile

"I have to drop you off. I am meeting a new broad in 30 minutes. Maybe I'll ask if she has a friend - on second thought, if she saw your car, she'd take off running." As he is dropping me off, he can't help but make another smart ass comment - "What year is that piece of shit? That has to be the worst looking car in Las Vegas. You should take that down to the junk yard right now."

I can't let him leave without sticking up for Rosie (my cars nickname, she is a 1994 Kia with plenty of character) -"I've got to tell you something. You've never lived until you drive a car with bullet holes in it," the bullet holes were present before my ownership. Jayball, who always has to have the last word in, says this as he is driving away - "You need the guy who shot the bullet holes in that shit box to come back and throw a stick of dynamite in it for you."

 

The village idiot of Las Vegas sees a sweet bachelor pad.

"Jethro, check this out!" We were standing in his living room, admiring his new big screen - "Jesus Jayball," I say, "When did you get this?" He smiles and says, "Do you remember Jaquelyn?" I nod my head yes, "Her dad is loaded so she bought it for me. I told her not to, but she insisted." Jaquelyn is yet another girl in his stable - "I am going to have to jam her real good for this," he says with a smirk on his face. He then begins to gyrate his hips real fast in an attempt to simulate the motions of intercourse. It was hilarious.

"Take a look at the picture on this bastard," he says as he flips his new toy on. Not only was it a fifty five inch plasma with all the goodies, it was also perched on a new entertainment center. Jayball's crib isn't very big, but he keeps it well equipped. It is the sweetest bachelor pad I have ever seen.

"Jethro, check this out," he hands me a pair of 3-D glasses. "Did you know that you can watch Sports Center in 3-D?" He turns on Sports Center, I could see the effect right away. "Man, I wish I had a place like this," I say enviously. "Who knows?" He says cunningly, "Maybe one of these days you can stop living in a cardboard box and get a place like this. Anyways, it is time for you to beat it. I have a broad coming over shortly and I am going to fix her dinner."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about the girlfriend experience (GFE).

"Jethro, don't be thinking about the other night. That was a one time deal. Next time you have to pay the going rate for the girlfriend experience," I never argue with Roxy, she is a professional in every sense of the world. But the one thing I was curious about. How much is the going rate?

"Roxy, I understand no more GFE for me without the going rate, but I do have a question. How much does the girlfriend experience actually cost?" Like I said, she's a pro, "Jethro - for your broke ass, I don't know. But most guys pay upwards of two grand a night for the GFE." I knew from the get go she was out of my price range, but I didn't realize just how much. "Roxy let me ask you one more thing," she was being very candid with me for the first time, so I figured I would push my luck and find out a little more about her - "How often do you do the GFE?"

She didn't like the question about how often she does the GFE, and she told me that in no uncertain terms -  "Jethro, you are so fucking adorable. It's like I just want to pack you up and put you in my pocket. My Jethro from Kansas. Now listen to me sweetie, because I am only going to tell you this one time. It is none of your fucking business about my business...Ok! Don't ask again, just be thankful that I do charity work for you."

The village idiot of Las Vegas spends the night with Roxy...

I was sitting in my suite at the Hard Rock thinking about my friend Roxy. For those of you familiar with my blog? Roxy...aka Foxy Roxy...is my sorta, kinda, seldom girlfriend. I've given a lot of effort to call her my girl. How do I say this? She ain't interested. See, my problem is that I'm dumb enough to believe that she would be my girl if only my luck would change. I honestly feel that my luck is starting to change, so I decided to call her.

"Jethro, how many times do I have to tell you to lose my number?" She always says the same thing to me when she answers the phone. Anyways, I had to tell her that I was staying at a suite in the Hard Rock. "Roxy, guess where I'm at right now?" Turns out, she already knew...She'd been reading the blog. "Look, I was expecting to hear your voice again after I read your last post about staying at the Hard Rock. What tower are you staying in?" Roxy knows the Hard Rock well, so when I told her I was staying in the newest tower. I could tell she was impressed. "Jethro, don't go anywhere, I'm going to come down and see you in an hour or so." 

Two hours go by and still no sign of Roxy. I figured she bailed on me, so I sent her a text just to make sure. After I sent the text, I get a response that says. "In the parking lot, be there in 10." I never know whether to believe a girl like Roxy or not, but since she looks like a centerfold. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. 12 minutes go bye and I hear a knock. I walk over to the door, look through the peephole, and lo and behold it's Roxy. I knew I was in good shape for the night when I opened up the door. She was standing there wearing a tight black shirt and yoga pants, carrying an overnight pack. "Jethro, I just got done with my yoga class. Where is your shower?" No hello, no nothing, but since Roxy is a girl who is used to getting what she wants; I pointed the way to the bathroom.

I sit down in the living room while Roxy heads into the bathroom and starts the shower. She then walks out of the bathroom and sits on the bed. Keep in mind I'm sitting in the other room and can see her every move through a mirror in the hall way. She then takes off all of her clothes, ties her long red hair in a bow, and proceeds to walk back into the bathroom. As she's getting ready to step into the bathroom, she stops and says. "Jethro, I know that you can see me. Are you going to sit there like a fucking idiot? Or are you going to join me in the shower?" Roxy is a professional in every sense of the word, so when she told me that she wanted me to join her in the shower. I was bare ass in a flash.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "It was nice spending time with Roxy. She sees it more as a business thing then me, but nevertheless, it was still nice spending time with her again."

The village idiot of Las Vegas checks back into the Hard Rock Hotel.

"People who say money can't buy happiness have never hung out with me on a yacht with hot naked girls and piles of cocaine."

- Adnan Khashoggi

"Mr. Gallegos it's nice to see you again. Do you want the same suite as last time?" Why mess with something when it's not broken? "That would be just fine, Clara," I say with a smile and a wink. At the time I was chatting with a VIP hostess at my favorite place in Las Vegas...The Hard Rock Hotel. Jack Gallegos is my alias. After Clara finishes the check in, she says, "Is there anything else I can do for you Mr. Gallegos?" This girl is nice, very nice. I figured what the hell, I might as well see if she's interested in getting a drink. "Clara, what time do you get off tonight?" I ask confidently, "Maybe the two of us could meet for a drink?" Las Vegas has a myriad of beautiful women and my belief is if I ask enough one will break down and eventually say yes. Unfortunately, my VIP goddess was not that girl. "I have a boyfriend Mr. Gallegos. Maybe some other time." I hadn't been at the place for more than five minutes and somehow managed to strike out. Oh well, Reggie Jackson struck out a lot and he's in the Hall of Fame.

The village idiot of Las Vegas makes a move in Chinatown...

What's the best way to describe the new job I have? Interesting is a good word for it. Let's face it, how many small town white guys from Kansas do you know that work as an ambassador to a Chinatown district? Let me go over my job in a little more detail:

The company I work for, onlinerestaurants.com, has put me in charge of signing up Asian restaurants in Chinatown. The model works as follows; We offer our services which include online ordering and food delivery. If a customer orders their food off of our site, we're entitled to a percentage of their net sales. Currently I'm working with a couple of Asian friends of mine. They're providing the contacts, and I'm in charge of closing and contracts. The last few weeks my Asian friends have been kind enough to introduce me to a number of restaurant owners in Chinatown, and the experience has been delightful. Admitting so, progress was a lot slower then what I would have hoped for, and then today happened.

"I know that you guys can kill this process! They're over 300 places in a 2 mile radius that could use this process! We are the first one's to the party. Let's get em!" My two Asian partners are terrific people, known them since I moved to Las Vegas. They're like Chinese versions of me. I wanted them to know that I was ready to see the levy break! My friend Kam asked me what the numbers were. "Right now guys, we've sold our service to three places in two weeks. We've talked with well over thirty businesses. Something needs to happen real soon." About five minutes after my rant,  Kam gets a call and tells me this after he finished.

"That was Mike, he said his brother wants to sign up. Cheng's said they would sign up as well if you meet them on the rate. One more thing Joey at the House of Joy wants to talk with you as well." I'll always remember this moment for the rest of my life, that's when I knew for certain my beliefs were correct. I took a moment to gather myself, and then all of us looked at each other and smiled. This was before we started the days door to door.

I walk into this Thai place on Spring and Jones, and right in front of my eyes is the most beautiful Asian girl I have ever seen, turns out she was the manager, so I told her how our service works and how we could help them make more money. I was doing my best not to look like a fool, which is hard for me some times. Anyways, she looks at me with what I could have sworn were green eyes, and says. "I like this idea. I want to sign my place up for it. Is this your idea?"  I looked at her with an accelerated heart beat, and said. "Yes Mam, and I've got a good crew to back it up." I was feeling a humongous vibe with her, and you never know if you don't ask. "How about you and I get a drink some time? Maybe eat some sushi as well." Turns out the vibe I was feeling wasn't mutual. "Look Honey, I got a boyfriend. Maybe some other time?" The important thing was that she signed up for the service!

The crew meets for dinner to go over the last two days numbers. "If I'm correct, we now have five new restaurants, and three more on the hook in the last two days." Both of my partners nodded in agreement. "Well done men! Well done!" I knew when I first hooked up with these guys that I was making the right choice. "Salute to Chinatown and all of the restaurants in it." Usually when I throw salutes up I like to have a shot or beer with it. These guys don't drink, so I had hot tea. "Hey Rob, tomorrow I get you another suite at the Hard Rock for a few days." The sound of my partner Kam's voice was music to my ears. I love the Hard Rock!

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I was reading an article about entrepreneurial habits, and the writer of the article asked if it was better to be consistent or explosive. I thought about that for a moment and came up with this answer. "You've got to be consistent to find any kind of explosiveness, unless you win the lottery or something like that."

The village idiot of Las Vegas spends a night at The Hard Rock...

"Vegas is a town where you can go from the outhouse to the penthouse, and back...Fairly quick."
--Jayball

I recently got a new position at my job. Two colleagues and myself have been appointed representatives to the Chinatown district of Las Vegas. The other day my partner Kam told me this. "You've been working too hard. I'm going to get you a suite at the Hard Rock. You can stay there for a few days." The Hard Rock Hotel is a fabulous place! Anyways, when he told me that he was going to get me a suite; I gladly accepted.

I walk into the suite, and the first thing I take a look at is the view...Breathtaking. The heart of the Vegas strip is 20/20 in my site, and directly below me is a view of the pool. Now, the pool at Rehab is not your ordinary swimming hole...Back to the story. After the view, I turn my sites to the living room. Big plush sofa and love seat, plasma TV, fully stocked bar, work area. I could tell right away that Rob Astle, Mr. Hotel 6, was way out of his price range. But hey, that's what happens when you know the right people. Well, after I calmed down a little, I made my way into the master bedroom. King size bed, big screen TV, recliner, and another fully stocked bar. I then turn my attention to the master bath. As plush as the things were to that point. It took on another level when I stepped into the the crapper. Jet tub connected to a walk in shower that would hold a small brigade. Shower heads everywhere. I then look over at a marble bathroom sink and counter, stocked with all the supplies. It was awesome!

I take a seat in the leather recliner and call my friend Kam. "Jesus, this place is phenomenal. How come you don't stay here?" Kam's answer to my inquiry was fairly simple. "I can get rooms anytime I like, tell your friends in Kansas that I can get them a room when they come." This was the first time I had taken advantage of his generosity and I was going to enjoy every minute of it. I pour myself a drink, watch a little boob tube, and decide it's time to check out the scenery downstairs. As I'm walking through the Hard Rock, I don't really see much at first glance. So I sit down for a drink, and I notice a gal on the other side of the bar is giving me the eyeball. I figured what the hell, let's see what she is up too? "How are you doing tonight. My name is Jack Gallegos. What's your name darling? I'd love to buy you a drink." Jack Gallegos is my alias when I'm on the prowl. She then looks at me and says. "My name is Zeta, and I would love to have a drink with you." It doesn't take a genius to figure out that my new friend Zeta is in the good time business. Anyways, I give her the up and down and she does the same to me. "I'm gonna cut right to the chase with you Zeta. I'm looking for a girlfriend for an hour or so. Would you be interested?" She looks at me and says. "Honey, you're so sweet, but I have to meet a few of my girlfriends in a little while. Maybe some other time."

It was late, so I decided to head back up to the suite and relax. As I'm sitting there, I hear a loud commotion outside my door. I get up and take a look through my peephole and notice two girls. Both of them are yelling, and banging on the door of the room directly across from mine. I open up my door and directly in front of me are two California girls dressed to the 9's.  Both had been partying all night. "How are you ladies doing?" When I first saw them, they had their backs to me. I think I might have startled them. The first one of them said. "Who are you?" I didn't have a good line at the time, so I told her that I was her neighbor. She then answered me like this. "No you're not!" I could tell right away this girl was not interested, so I set my sites on her friend. Her friend was a different story. She was giving me the beer goggle look. I told her this. "Do you want to come in for a little night cap? I got a bunch of booze in here to drink and know one to drink it with." She smiles at me, and for a minute I thought it was going to happen. To my dismay, here friend chimed in. "Honey you're not going anywhere with that guy. Why don't you get lost." I didn't think I was being creepy. They were the ones making all the noise. I wished them a good night and went back to watching Sports Center.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "If you're a single, heterosexual, corn fed, red blooded, and whatever else you want to call yourself kind of guy? Las Vegas is the town for you!"