The village idiot of Las Vegas responds to feedback on his blog...

The other day I chatted with a friend about my blog. He told me this, "I can't believe you put a post in your blog about dumpster diving. You're better off keeping things like that private. Keep a journal instead of putting it out there for everyone to read." Nowadays, I write my blog in what's commonly referred to as 'reality genre.' Basically, I'm doing my best to keep it real. Now, after my friend was done complaining about my dumpster diving endeavors, I told him this. "Look, that particular post was written to show people that some times, like many others, I don't always have enough money to buy food. Well, most of the time that particular problem can be alleviated if a person isn't too prideful enough to spend a little time in a restaurant dumpster or two."

My friend and I are on opposite sides of the universe when it comes to the socioeconomic scale. Which is good for him. I've always been proud of him for doing so well in life. He then asked me. "Don't you find it embarrassing to admit to dumpster diving. How in the world is anyone going to take your business ideas seriously if they know you spend time in the dumpster?" He wasn't being an asshole or degrading to me one bit, it's just that his personal belief's are different than mine, so I told him this. "If I found it embarrassing to dumpster dive, I'd most likely starve to death nowadays. As for turning any potential investor off who might read the blog. Well, I came to the conclusion awhile back that the readers of my blog could care less about any business idea I have. They're far more interested in hearing about 'real life.' It's not that I've abandoned my ideas, it's just going to have to happen another way. From here on out, this blog or any other blog I write is going to be dedicated to 100% reality, with a twist of humor added to keep it from feeling somber."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "My friend is a writer of sorts, I've read a little of his work and it was adequate. He tends to stay private with his writing, unlike me; I believe that if you're going to make the effort, and that's what writing is, effort; you should share it with as many people who are willing to read it."

The village idiot of Las Vegas reminisces about his boyhood idiot Larry Bird...Part 3

"How many times have I told you not to dribble the ball in the house?" I was only in eighth grade, but there was no doubt in my mind that I was on my way to the NBA. So whenever my mother scolded me for practicing my ball handling skills in the living room, it tended to go in one ear and out the other. "Mom, I've got to be able to handle the rock when the Celtics call my number. Larry Bird says that no matter where you're at you should always be practicing." Unfortunately, my mother was never a big believer in my NBA dream. "Look, when you make a million dollars a year like Larry Bird. You can dribble your basketball as much as you want in the house. Until then, go outside."

"Get the ball to Larry!" It was Game 7 of the '88 Eastern Conference semifinals. The Celtics were in a fight for their playoff lives against the upstart Atlanta Hawks. Dominique Wilkins was the star for the Hawk's and he was putting on a shooting clinic to the tune of 19-23, with a game high forty seven points. Everyone, including myself felt the Celtics were going to lose: Enter Larry Bird - The final quarter will live in NBA playoff lore forever - Bird scored twenty points to lead the Celtics to a two point victory, thus advancing them to the Eastern Finals.

I've been in one jam after another the last five years. I always ask myself the same question when I need a pick me up. "What would Larry do?" The answer is always the same, "Dig deeper! Try harder!" I'm holding onto the notion that sheer determination will get me what I'm looking for. Nowadays, my once unwavering confidence is shaken to the core. That's not a good thing according to Larry. "The one trait a successful person has to have in life is confidence. If that ever leaves you; forget about it." That's a direct quote from his autobiography.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I called my ex wife the other day. I wanted to make sure that we were square. She told me this, 'Don't worry about a thing between the two of us. We're square, it's you that I worry about.' Knowing the two of us were square was a relieving feeling for me."

The village idiot of Las Vegas reminisces about his boyhood idol Larry Bird...Part 3

"3,2,1...Astle gets the shot off. It's good! The Celtics win the championship!" Countless, is the only word that comes to mind when I tell people how many times I imagined that scenario as a kid practicing my jump shot. If I missed the shot: No big deal, I'd take another one. If I missed that one: No problem, I would just keep shooting until I hit the championship shot. Oh the joys of being young. I still remember the first time my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. "I know exactly what I want to do when I get older pops. I'm going to play for the Celtics. I figure by the time I'm done playing basketball at The University of Kansas; Larry Bird will be looking at retirement, the Celtics will draft me and I'll step in and take his spot." Looking back on the prediction: I would have had a better chance winning the lottery, but back than I was young and had my whole life in front of me - Anything seemed possible.

"Remember when Magic Johnson made a sky hook to beat the Celtics in game four of the '87 finals." I'm president and my cousin Joel is vice-president of the Larry Bird fan club in Las Vegas. So when he asked me if I remembered that shot. I rolled my eyes and told him this. "Of course I remember that shot. How could I forget? But, do you remember what happened after Magic made that shot?" Usually, I consider it sacrilege to say anything negative about Larry Bird. But the the truth of the matter is Larry had a chance to win that game, even after Magic made his shot. "There was still a few seconds left on the clock and Larry had a clean look at the basket for the win. His shot rimmed out and the Celtics ended up losing the series." As much adulation as I have for Larry Bird; he's still human. You would've had a hard time convincing me of that in my younger years.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I've completed a three-year projection for an online food delivery business that I've been proposing in Las Vegas. Some of you who've been following the blog for awhile are familiar with what I'm referring to. If anyone is interested in seeing what the projections resemble. Please message me and I will be more than happy to share and explain them to you."

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets lectured by his fifteen year old Honduran friend...

"Mr. Rob, it's time to wake up. The park is closing." I spent the better part of yesterday getting drunk and then sleeping it off in the park right next to my apartment. My young Honduran friend Felipe was kicking me in the shoe to let me know the park was closing and it was time to go home. "Mr. Rob, you're worse than all the cholos in Las Vegas. Why you sleeping drunk in the park like a culo? Mi madre made you some tamales." My friend Felipe is only fifteen, every day you can find him and a number of his buddies playing soccer in the park. I helped him awhile back with some of his homework and we've been friends ever since.

"Mr Rob, you're such a smart guy. Why don't you find a good job and stop sleeping in the park?" Felipe, his three brothers and their mom live in the apartment right below mine. Everyday you can smell his mother's cooking from my apartment window. Every so often they will bring me a plate of tamales or burritos. Felipe and his brothers are 'anchor babies.' His mother and father immigrated to the Untied States from Honduras eighteen years ago and started a family. His dad was deported a number of years ago for trafficking drugs. His mother was granted a permanent work visa, but not citizenship.

"Mr. Rob, go home and take a shower. You look like hell." It's a humbling experience to be lectured by a fifteen year old, but at the time my head was hurting so bad I didn't care. "OK Felipe, thanks for waking me up and tell your mom thanks for the tamales. I'll bring the plate back after I finish." I then stumble to my feet, walk over to a park bench, sit down and immediately begin devouring the tamales Felipe had given me. "Mr. Rob, can I tell you something?" Felipe and the rest of his family are wonderful people with big hearts. So when he told me he had to tell me something; I was more than happy to listen.

"I read your blog post about how you thought you were cursed. I told my madre about it as well. She told me that she had felt that way after my padre was deported. She wants me to tell you that she knows how to lift your curse." When he told me he had something to tell me; I figured it would be along the lines of how he scored a couple goals at his soccer game or how his brothers were getting on his nerves. The last thing in the world I expected was for him to give me advice on how to shake a curse. "Mr. Rob, mi madre says that you need to look deep into your soul and ask yourself what it is that is holding you back. She believes that once you release those demons, things will turn around for you."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I've got to hand it to Felipe and a lot of the other 'barrio kids' in Las Vegas. They do without a lot of the conveniences that most kids their ages take for granted. Felipe and his friends keep themselves entertained the old fashioned way: They play sports and read books...I'll tell you one thing is a certainty. You don't see many fat kids in the barrio I live in."

The village idiot of Las Vegas reminisces about his boyhood idol Larry Bird...Part 2

The other day my cousin and I were discussing our favorite Larry Bird moments when we were youths. "You remember that time in Madison when all of us were crowded around your TV watching the fifth game of the '87 Eastern finals. You and your friend Steve were yelling at the TV. You guys were yelling, 'Get the ball to Larry!' Well, he made his move to the basket to win the game and his shot got blocked and it ended up being the Pistons ball. There was only 4 seconds left and it looked like the Celtics were going to lose. You started cussing and Steve punched a hole in the wall." I remember my cousins statement like it was yesterday. I also remember what happened after that.

Larry Bird never quits and he ended up stealing the ensuing inbound pass from the Pistons. He then fed it perfectly to a teammate streaking to the basket and the Celtics wound up winning the game by one point at the buzzer. That's probably my favorite all time Larry Bird moment. My cousin and I shared a laugh and then he asked me if I remembered when Larry won the inaugural three-point shooting contest at the NBA all star game in 1986. "Come on Joel, how could I forget that." Larry actually won the contest three years in a row, but the '86 win was his most memorable. He ended up making his last ten shots to nose out his challenger. His last shot will be forever sketched in my memory.

He had made his previous nine shots and the final shot was for all the marbles. He lets loose of it and everyone in the world knew that it was going in. As a matter of fact, his last shot was taken from the baseline three point spot and by the time it swished through the basket: Larry was already standing at the top of the key with the #1 finger on his right hand sticking straight in the air. The truth of the matter is they're so many Larry Bird moments from my youth that I would have to write a book to do all of them justice.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "My cousin Joel told me that I should relabel myself as the 'Larry Bird of Chinatown.' I like that moniker, but it would be a slap to the face of Larry Bird and his legion of fans. See, Larry is a finisher, a closer, a winner. Whenever an obstacle got in his way, he ran right through it. Me, on the other hand, would be fortunate to make a free throw nowadays."

The village idiot of Las Vegas swears he's cursed...

"You're a fucking loser. You've always been a loser and you will always be a loser. Why don't you do everyone a favor and jump in front of a bus." I called my cousin Sally in Kansas the other day. We had a falling out awhile back, but, I figured we were past it; as usual, I figured wrong. "Look dumb shit. You're a fucking hack. No one and I mean no one, gives a shit about what you think. Why are you calling me anyways. I told you a long time ago to lose my number."

After Sally hung up on me, I decided to walk down to the store and get a beer. I leave the store with my beer and decide to stop off at the local park and drink it. You're not supposed to be drinking alcohol in the park, but, the unwritten rule is if your discreet about it, no one will hassle you. I grab a seat in the grass, crack open the beer and then I start thinking about what Sally said to me earlier. It's like she wants to put a curse on me or hurt me. This wasn't the first time she'd been nasty to me, but it seemed like she really meant it this time.

As I'm getting ready to take my first sip of beer, I feel something funny. It felt like my skin was on fire. I didn't pay much attention at first, but then it began to feel like it was really on fire. "Oh God, the bitch has finally gone and done it. She's put a curse on me and now she's going to try an kill me." That was my immediate thought as the sensation worsened. Well, I came to my senses and it turns out I was sitting in an anthill. When I looked down, I was covered with fire ants and they were enjoying my fat ass for lunch. After a five minute ant dance. I was able to shake most of them.

Looking back on the incident, it's silly that I thought Sally was trying to kill me from afar or with a curse. That's not rational thinking, but you want to know the truth. A lot of times I feel like I'm cursed. It seems like no matter how hard I try: I'm incapable of succeeding. Lord, I hope things change for me soon.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I was supposed to hook up with a guy this weekend and show him a few things I'd been blogging about. I moved a lot of things around to accommodate him and he ended up blowing me off. I guess that's just how things go nowadays for me. I can tell you one thing is for sure. If I catch this guy in Las Vegas again I'm going to give him a big piece of my mind."