"You're a fucking loser. You've always been a loser and you will always be a loser. Why don't you do everyone a favor and jump in front of a bus." I called my cousin Sally in Kansas the other day. We had a falling out awhile back, but, I figured we were past it; as usual, I figured wrong. "Look dumb shit. You're a fucking hack. No one and I mean no one, gives a shit about what you think. Why are you calling me anyways. I told you a long time ago to lose my number."
After Sally hung up on me, I decided to walk down to the store and get a beer. I leave the store with my beer and decide to stop off at the local park and drink it. You're not supposed to be drinking alcohol in the park, but, the unwritten rule is if your discreet about it, no one will hassle you. I grab a seat in the grass, crack open the beer and then I start thinking about what Sally said to me earlier. It's like she wants to put a curse on me or hurt me. This wasn't the first time she'd been nasty to me, but it seemed like she really meant it this time.
As I'm getting ready to take my first sip of beer, I feel something funny. It felt like my skin was on fire. I didn't pay much attention at first, but then it began to feel like it was really on fire. "Oh God, the bitch has finally gone and done it. She's put a curse on me and now she's going to try an kill me." That was my immediate thought as the sensation worsened. Well, I came to my senses and it turns out I was sitting in an anthill. When I looked down, I was covered with fire ants and they were enjoying my fat ass for lunch. After a five minute ant dance. I was able to shake most of them.
Looking back on the incident, it's silly that I thought Sally was trying to kill me from afar or with a curse. That's not rational thinking, but you want to know the truth. A lot of times I feel like I'm cursed. It seems like no matter how hard I try: I'm incapable of succeeding. Lord, I hope things change for me soon.
I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having...Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I was supposed to hook up with a guy this weekend and show him a few things I'd been blogging about. I moved a lot of things around to accommodate him and he ended up blowing me off. I guess that's just how things go nowadays for me. I can tell you one thing is for sure. If I catch this guy in Las Vegas again I'm going to give him a big piece of my mind."
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