The village idiot of Las Vegas calls his friend Roxy to tell her how he feels about her.

"Goddamn, I swear I am going to slap the living daylights out of you. What part of don't call me I will call you didn't you understand? Do you understand English boy?" The last time the two of us talked we had a tentative agreement that I wouldn't call her, she would call me. Well, I tried my best to honor the agreement, but I miss her and I wanted to tell her such - "I know that I said I wouldn't bother you Roxy, but I miss you and I wanted to know what you were doing." Roxy is a no bullshit kind of gal. That's what I like most about her. So when she told me to fuck off. Well, it kind of made me smile. "Where are you at?" I could hear a bunch of ringing noises in the background. I was guessing she was at a casino. Turns out I was correct.

"Not that it is any of your fucking business, but I am with Carmen and we're down at the Venetian." I then heard a voice in the background say, "Hi Jethro," Carmen is Roxy's double, only seven years younger. I have suggested to Roxy on a number of occasions that the three of us should make an 'Astle boy sandwich' one of these days. When I first suggested the culinary delight to her, she had not the slightest idea what I was talking about. Then she thought about it for a moment. Her response is always the same - "You're worthless, broke, fat, stupid, lazy ass wants to have a threesome with Carmen and I. God Jethro, you are such a fucking pig. Never going to happen." I always tell her that she doesn't have to get so upset about things. It's just an idea. Anyways, I decided it best to skip the threesome talk and get straight to the point with her. "Roxy, I haven't said this in a long time to anyone, but I think I love you."

After I told her that I loved her, I waited patiently for a response - "Roxy are you still there?" She has a habit of hanging up on me before I am fully able to get my thoughts across to her. "Roxy, did you hear what I just said? I said that I think I love you." I kept waiting patiently for her to say something. The anxiety was killing me. After a few more silent moments pass, I look down at my phone and discover that I had been disconnected. I immediately call back to tell her how I feel and the call goes directly to her voice mail.