The village idiot of Las Vegas quotes Donald Trump; talks Groupon beginnings; pitches his plan about twenty thousand Mexicans and how to scale and sees the most beautiful girl in Las Vegas.

"It's that sucking sound. It's the sound of money and jobs being sucked out of the country. It's the sound of the life being sucked out of America."

"The leaders of China and Mexico are so much smarter and more cunning than ours. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of Chinese and Mexican friends. I have made a lot of money off the both of them."

Donald Trump

Groupon was founded in the fall of 2008. The website hinges on a process called Collective Buying Power. CBP is best defined as taking a large, fertile data base and butting it up against a relevant product or service:

Groupon started as a site called The Point in downtown Chicago. The original premise was to get people to act on civic issues. Example: If there was graffiti on a wall or a pot hole in the road.instead of a few people reporting it, the site procured numerous people to act. Well, enter the collapse of 2008 and the data base was shifted to a consumer format (Groupon was created) - the data base of twenty thousand was shifted from The Point to Groupon and the rest is history.

Now that you have a brief history of Groupon I will put things as concisely as I can. There is a Spanish Groupon to be had in North Las Vegas. My extensive efforts and research tell me such. The section of North Las Vegas I've been canvassing the last eight months possesses all the traits and characteristics to make such a claim viable. It has the cohesiveness, sense of community, crowd, fervor, businesses and urban setting...all in bushels.

The only thing missing from the equation is a community blogger (me). See, there is no one like me in North Las Vegas! No one even close! I have a very deep knowledge of how things will come together. It is imperative a person be able to sell the site and communicate the message. My career in sales and marketing coupled with impeccable blogging and communication skills make me the ideal choice to spearhead such a venture.

Twenty thousand consumers to a data base - It can be done! I know how things work! One last thing, if CBP is done correctly in the beginning, the ability to scale becomes massive. One more last thing - if anyone is naive enough to believe Hispanics won't bode well as a market, they should reconsider - Census numbers quote one and a half trillion in consumer spending by the Hispanic population in 2015. I anticipate the number to grow exponentially (as long as Donald Trump doesn't decide to deport all of them:)

One more last thing, the most beautiful girl in Las Vegas walked into the computer lab today. I try my best not to stare. But the task proved impossible. She was really dolled up today. As usual it is a heavenly sight.

Donald Trump; beautiful women; Asians and Hispanics. The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about them all.

I walk into the library today and she is standing at the front desk chatting with her friend Joe. It's been a while since I saw her up close. Well, I lost my library card last week and was in need of a new one so I hand Joe my ID and he begins the process of replacing it. Now I am standing a few feet away from her while I wait - I decide to say something to her - "How are things going today?" I ask sheepishly. She looks up from the pamphlet she is reading and gives me a look of disgust and then looks back down. The action doesn't faze me. After all, I am accustom to such looks from women, especially beautiful women. Nonetheless - she is a heavenly sight.

"I tell you what boy. Donald Trump has awoken the silent majority in this country. He is saying it just like your grandpa said it a long time ago." I called a friend from Kansas over the weekend...our discussion turned to politics quickly - "Do you know what I really like about him? And I have been saying and practicing the same thing for the longest time. Why can't Americans figure out a way to make money off the Chinese and Mexicans? They're sucking all the money and jobs out of the country and no one is doing a goddamn thing to try an make money off of them." We chat a bit more about politics and he says - "I would really like to see someone get in there who will get the economy humming again. Someone who will not scare private investment away. Trump has the talk, but does he have the walk?"

Both of us agree Trump winning the presidency is a long shot, but what if it actually happens. What would the country look like? I add my two cents - "Like I said earlier - He is encouraging entrepreneurs to devise ways to make money off the Chinese and Mexicans. He is encouraging a global economy. All the other candidates combined haven't mentioned a thing about it. If they have it didn't resonate with me. Trump's statements do!"

He asks me about the girl at city hall (the one I mention in the first paragraph) and if I thought I had chance - "No," is my answer. I then remind him of a number of ideas I have worked on through the years - "People don't realize how ingrained I am in the Asian community of Las Vegas. Do you remember when I blogged about having ten restaurants signed up for electronic coverage in Chinatown? When I had those ten contracts in my hand I was literally holding a million dollars. At the time I was unable to find the necessary group to help take the plan to completion. People weren't paying attention then. But hey, look what Trump is saying - And now I have established a great relationship with a number of people in North Las Vegas. If given the support I will spearhead the effort to get twenty thousand Hispanic consumers to a data base. They are there brother. It can be done! I promise you that."

As we are wrapping up our conversation he says something poetic to me - "Jeez, you would think a guy would get tired of trying. Don't get me wrong. I love your blog. It's just that everything you blog about is self deprecating. I mean it's always about how women hate you, or some homeless person you met, or how you're broke, or something of that nature. But you never get deterred. It's like your oblivious to things." I thank him for his patronage to the blog and say - "The Chinese and the Mexicans and all the things that could come from it are hard for people to understand unless they come out and see it first hand. It's real...it's very real! I have all the connections and experience to make it work. The thing I lack is adequate resources. I can tell you this with certainty brother. I will never give up! I am too close! It is too big! I am butted up next to it and no one but me knows how to make it work! One last thing - I should send a donation to Trump's campaign. He is solely responsible for reawakening people to my beliefs!"

Donald Trump and the Mexicans in North Las Vegas.

Tortilla Flats - an often coined nickname for heavily populated Hispanic areas. Steinbeck is often credited with making the term a popular part of the English vernacular in his book of the same name.

Watching Donald Trump's presidential run has been comical. It's like watching excellent improv every time he gets behind the mic. How else should it be described? Most of the stuff he spews goes in one ear and out the other, but there is one thing I have taken offence to. Actually - taking offence to it is a bit of stretch. Let's just say I don't believe it. Not for one bloody minute:

"I lead in the polls of Hispanic voters in Nevada," he spouts on Fox News. "What fucking poll? I don't believe that for a minute you douche bag," I yell back at the television. See, anyone who believes Donald Trump will carry the Hispanic vote in a general election is living in fantasy land. And the claims he is popular with Hispanics in Nevada - I am hear to tell everyone who will listen...it's bullshit.

Why am I so sure the Donald's proclamation is false? I live in Tortilla Flats. It doesn't get anymore Mexican! So yesterday I decide to take an informal poll of a few of its residents (nothing scientific). Any way, I asked the guy who works at the convenience store what he thought of Donald Trump. He laughed and said - "He's funny, but I won't vote for him." I then ask if any of his friends would vote for him - "Not anyone I know," is his response.

After exiting the convenience store I walk across the parking lot and ask a man and women who were getting ready to enter the laundromat the same question - "He's funny but I we won't vote for him," is the answer from both. I then ask if any of their family or friends plan to. Both give a resounding - "No." I repeat the question to twenty or so different people (all Hispanics) and everyone answers similar - "He's funny, but I won't vote for him."

The poll he keeps referencing is complete and utter bullshit. Anyone who believes his proclamation about winning the Hispanic vote in a general election needs to get back on their medication. Let's put it this way...If Donald Trump gets elected president and carries the Hispanic vote I will run naked down Las Vegas Blvd.

The village idiot of Las Vegas and his Roxy issue.

"Now listen carefully Jethro. The answer to your question is not no...it's fuck no!" - I was hoping for better results when I called last night. The hope was she would consider giving me another chance. Once again my hopes were dashed - "Listen idiot, I am very busy and you are interrupting me. I don't have time for bull shit right now." No matter her disposition I am one hundred percent convinced Roxy is the girl for me - I tell her such for the hundredth time - "Look Jethro," she says with an irritating voice, "I have a new boyfriend now. A real man, a man who knows how to take care of a women like me. Something you are incapable of doing."

I get it - she deserves better than me. The thing she is discounting is the upside I possess - I reiterate the belief, she says - "Jethro, don't give me any bull shit about how you are going to get a bunch of Mexicans in a data base or all the Chinese restaurants you signed up. No one gives a fuck! You are just too stupid to realize it."

The underlying problem in our relationship boils down to a lack of vision on her part. - "Babe," I say as I ready myself to tell her my belief once again - but before I am able to bring my thoughts to words - she pipes - "How many fucking times do I have to tell you? Don't call me Babe!" - I apologize for the breach of etiquette and then say - "Roxy, all I want to do is make you happy. I want to take care of you. I am positive one of these days I will have money running out my ass. When it happens I will give you everything! All I ask is you be patient."

After the statement I hear her murmur something on the other end of the line, she then says crisply - "Look, why don't you go chase every Mexican in North Las Vegas around and see if you can get them to a data base. If that doesn't work, and it won't! Then you should take your stupid ass back to Chinatown and see if the China man is interested in your idea. Oh, that's right, you struck out there as well."

A friend of mine asked why I keep pursuing Roxy - "She is sort of a bitch dude," is an abbreviated way in how he describes her: His comments caused some deep thoughts with me - I love her. That much is obvious. But beyond that, and this will sound very bizarre to most, it's just the nastier and more standoffish she is towards me - the more I crave her. I know. I have some serious issues.

The village idiot of Las Vegas updates Fred on the dope game in North Las Vegas.

"Fred - it's official. The first medical marijuana dispensary in Nevada opened for business last week. It opened in Sparks, which is a suburb of Reno." - I have been keeping an associate from Colorado updated on the Mary Jane business in North Las Vegas the last few months - "How did that happen if the licensed cultivation outfits are still unable to sell their goodies to the dispensaries," he asks curiously.

"Where there is a will there is a way Fred," I tell him emphatically - Actually, there is a loophole in the law that allows medical marijuana cardholders to donate weed they have grown privately to dispensaries. The product will not last long, but hey, it's a start.

"When do you think medical marijuana will be full boat in Nevada," he asks intently - "I'm not sure," is my response, I then add - "I would guess it won't be long. After all, North Las Vegas funded it's last quarter of government with fees it collected by issuing cultivation and dispensary licenses for marijuana. If you think about that, and then realize not a single joint has been sold at a dispensary in the NLV. Well, it makes you wonder. There can't be that much more red tape to cut through." - I would think so, but who knows for sure - on the red tape that is.

"What are the projections for revenue again. I know they're humongous," - The thing I admire most about Fred - he doesn't care about all the bull shit that comes along with the game. He wants brass tacks - "Fred," I say forcefully, "You have seen first hand all the tax revenue the dope game generates in Colorado. Jesus, tax revenue was north of two hundred fifty million in the first year of legalization. Now just imagine one and a half times that in Nevada when it is legalized across the board." - "That's a lot of fucking money," is his candid response.

The village idiot of Las Vegas muses about his life.

My Uncle Ned said something foretelling to me a long time ago in front of the whole family at a Thanksgiving dinner - "Do you want to know something dummy? The reason you keep getting dumped is because the girls you date get to know you after a while and realize how big of a loser you are." The years have passed and good ol' Uncle Ned's statement still rings true to this very day.

I met the most stunning girl ever at North Las Vegas city hall. If you use a baseball analogy to sum up our relationship, it would resemble this - She is an all-star batting clean up for the first place Royal's. I am the guy in the parking lot trying his best to scrounge up a ticket to get in the ballpark.

All is not lost on self pity today. It's humorous how a smile can come to my face by reminiscing about the days of my youth - Madison, Kansas had its fare share of clowns when I was growing up. But one clown in particular stands out from the rest. He was a lad by the name of Org. Watching him play video games at the snack shop will forever be etched into my memory - "Bleep you Mario! You bleeping bleepsucker!" It didn't matter if he was playing Donkey Kong, Galaga, Defender, Centipede or pinball. Org brought a ratcheted intensity to any video game in front of him. One day I was watching him play Asteroids and he was knocked off the game - he yells - "You kamikaze bleepsucker," at the top of his lungs and then punches the screen causing it to crack. It is still one of the funniest things I have ever seen.