My Uncle Ned said something foretelling to me a long time ago in front of the whole family at a Thanksgiving dinner - "Do you want to know something dummy? The reason you keep getting dumped is because the girls you date get to know you after a while and realize how big of a loser you are." The years have passed and good ol' Uncle Ned's statement still rings true to this very day.
I met the most stunning girl ever at North Las Vegas city hall. If you use a baseball analogy to sum up our relationship, it would resemble this - She is an all-star batting clean up for the first place Royal's. I am the guy in the parking lot trying his best to scrounge up a ticket to get in the ballpark.
All is not lost on self pity today. It's humorous how a smile can come to my face by reminiscing about the days of my youth - Madison, Kansas had its fare share of clowns when I was growing up. But one clown in particular stands out from the rest. He was a lad by the name of Org. Watching him play video games at the snack shop will forever be etched into my memory - "Bleep you Mario! You bleeping bleepsucker!" It didn't matter if he was playing Donkey Kong, Galaga, Defender, Centipede or pinball. Org brought a ratcheted intensity to any video game in front of him. One day I was watching him play Asteroids and he was knocked off the game - he yells - "You kamikaze bleepsucker," at the top of his lungs and then punches the screen causing it to crack. It is still one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
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