"Listen, dumb shit, I have been telling you this was going to happen. Are you prepared?"
I got to give the guy something before going further. If civil unrest comes knocking on his door. He's ready!
"Are you going to the rally in Tulsa tomorrow?"
"You better motherfucking believe it boy. I will be front row & center with my MAGA hat on. Trump is the greatest president in history & I stand behind him 100%."
"Are you worried about catching the virus? The news says over a hundred thousand people will be congregating there. I doubt much social distancing or mask wearing will be going on."
"Give me a break about all the virus bullshit," sternly reiterating, "It's all a bunch of bullshit! I'm not scared one iota by it."
"So that means you won't be wearing a mask," realizing the answer already.
"No, I'm not wearing a goddamn mask. Like I said moron. It's all a bunch of bullshit!"
"What happens if you catch it & then spread it to someone whose immune system isn't as strong as yours?"
"Look," grumbling even more sternly than before, "The old lady took the kids and left a long time ago. Mom & dad, bless their souls, are looking down from heaven. It's just me, the dogs, the guns, the crops & the bunker. I'm ready for whatever. Are you?" Mad Max has been preparing his entire life for times like now, "I will thrive while others cower," he boasts with confidence.
I ask a rhetorical question.
"Mad Max, what would you do if looters decided to come running through your front door?"
"Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop," repeating the sound a few moments more, "Then, before the empty hits the floor another will take its place. If the initial wave of fire fails to dissuade. I will shoot my way to the safe and bring out the heavy artillery. I'm ready boy!"
"I can see why I'm your only friend. All your crazy talk alarms people. Why can't you be like a normal person?"
"Jesus boy, don't you fucking get it? The shit house is on fire. You are either predator or prey. Which do you want to be?"
He's lost it. I tell him such again.
"You will be the first guy to capitulate when the New World Order seeps in. I'll be the last!"
Before hanging up I ask how he thinks the Chiefs will fare in the upcoming season, "Are you really that naive? The whole fucking shit house is on fire and you're thinking about football. Boy, you need to get woke quick!"
"I am woke you asshole, I'm not insane like you," I then hang the phone up without saying goodbye.
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