My best friend nowadays is an eighty six year old man with a tan to boot. Today at the pool we resumed a previous discussion as pertains to our shared lust of fatty foods:
"What did you have for breakfast today Rob?"
"Burger King, they're running a croissant with egg, cheese & sausage special."
"How much is it?"
"Two for four dollars. The whole breakfast cost me a little over five dollars. It's because I added a value size Dr. Pepper to wash it all down."
"How did it taste?"
"Delicious best buddy. It hit the spot."
The conversation shifts to potato chips:
"The wife & I were shopping at Albertson's the other day & she noticed a new kind of chip in one of the displays by the meat department. Apparently, Frito Lay puts out new flavors every so often?"
"Yep," is my immediate reply, "I eat them by the truckload."
"Any way, there was a family size bag labeled Crispy Taco. I couldn't resist so we bought a couple bags. It is delicious. I devoured an entire bag while watching golf the other day. It was impossible to put them down."
"Was it salty as hell Lenny?"
"It was good buddy," adding, "That's why I drank a two liter of Sprite to go with it."
"The fast food eating bandits Lenny. That is you & me," adding with a hearty laugh, "If they're two guys out there who deserve the moniker more than us; I've yet to meet them."
"Yep," is his simple reply.
The conversation shifts to non romance:
"Lenny, Jesus Christ, you should have seen all the foxes at the pool over the weekend. I couldn't believe my eyes."
"Who were they?"
"It was the usual crowd; plus their daughters. A welcome sight indeed."
"Did you ask any of them out?"
"A couple of the daughters. They all said no."
"For Christ sake's," adding with all seriousness, "Please tell me you weren't out there boasting about your fast food addiction again. That kind of talk is for guys only! Women are not impressed by it. Do you remember what happened when you started bragging about it to the last lady you were interested in? She lost interest quick. Try not to make the same mistake twice."
"Left it out of the conversation Lenny," in a reassuring tone "Fast food talk is for guys only."
"Good," he says while shaking his head, "What were their reasons for turning you down?"
"One had to do her nails; the other had a hair appointment; the last one had a boyfriend. It's the same shit all the time."
The conversation shifts to our passion for a Wendy's double bacon cheeseburger. It reminds me of a joke:
"Let me tell you about the best girlfriend I've ever had Lenny."
"Sure, let's hear it."
"Her name is Wendy. Do you know what makes her so great?"
"What?"
"She really knew how to take care of a man."
"What do you mean?"
"She smelt great; tasted delicious & the best part is if you didn't feel like spending any quality time with her you could always take the drive thru for a quickie."
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