The other day my friend Roxy called. She wanted to meet for a drink. For those of you unfamiliar with my blog? The Roxy story goes as such..(High end call girl, staunch Republican)..The last time we chatted she left me with the impression that my ilk had grown tiresome. I'll admit it, when I picked up my phone and saw her number flashing on the caller ID? I was quite surprised..Anyways, I answered on the second ring.."How many times do I have to tell you fucking Obama supporters? I'm voting for the Libertarian candidate." Nevada is a swing state in this years election! That fact alone has brought the political telemarketers out in droves..Of course I knew it was Roxy, but I had to mess with her none the less.
"Jethro, no wonder you failed as a comedian. Get some new material! Lets meet at The Lodge in an hour. I feel like having a drink, and since I don't have any clients lined out for the night. You get to be the lucky guy." Having a drink with a beautiful women is something I enjoy..Let me rephrase that..Having a drink with a beautiful women is something I enjoy if it's free! The company not the drink! So, when a high end call girl wants to meet you for a drink and your penniless. The first thing you should do? Ask what the catch is! "Roxy, I'm still broke as a joke! If your looking to fill a blank on your schedule with a paying customer. You called the wrong sonuvabitch. Why are you calling me anyways? I thought you had grown tired of my politics. I'm still a Libertarian! I'm going to pass on the drink." I've been told by my cousin Sally in Kansas that I'm a complete chauvinist for insinuating that all women in Las Vegas care about is money.
"Jethro, what if I told you I would be your girlfriend for a night..No charge! Would that change your mind about having a drink with me?" Roxy and the words 'no charge' are as far removed from each other as heaven and hell. I didn't believe her one iota. Don't get me wrong! I can't think of anything more I would like to do than spend a night in the sack with Roxy. I'm not going to be vulgar about things, but lets put it this way. If your a single, heterosexual, red-blooded, corn fed? Use whatever positive adjective or phrase you can think of..A night with Roxy is pure bliss, but still! Don't kid yourself! Lots of strings attaced to a liason like Roxy. No matter what she says! "Roxy, I'm going to pass on your offer. I've been thinking about our relationship, and the truth is? We don't share any of the same ideologies. I don't think our relationship, if that's what you want to call it? How do I say this? Well, no future in it."
Roxy is not the kind of girl who gets dumped..Ever..Judging by her response to my statement, she had to re validate that point.."Jethro, are you a fucking moron? I wasn't going to charge you for my company. It was going to be a freebie. Did you ever stop to think that I might be attracted to you. I can have any guy I want! And your telling me that your loser ass is turning me down! The hell with you and your Libertarian views. Go to hell you asshole, you hurt my feelings! You prick!" After Roxy slammed the phone on me, I started thinking about a few things. Did her and I have a future? My uncle Ned told me that he couldn't believe that I was attracted to a girl who made a living on her back.. I never really cared about that aspect of things.. It's just business..The truth of the matter? We don't share enough in common to make it worthwhile, for either of us!
I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."In a way, I would like to believe the hooker with a heart of gold myth..Can't do it anymore. It becomes much harder to believe, the older you get. Or, maybe I should reevaluate what I'm looking for in a women. The truth of the matter is I don't know what to think nowadays."
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