An old friend of mine came to town last week. Old friends means lots of drinking. And since it's Las Vegas I'm talking about - multiply that statement by ten. It got to be past my bedtime so I politely excused myself from the party.
I stumble out of Planet Hollywood and over to the bus stop located on the south side of New York-New York. That's the Tropicana route which has a drop right by my apartment. As I'm sitting and waiting for the trip to begin I notice another guy stumble onto the bus. He was so inebriated he could hardly stand. He sits down in the seat in front of me. A mile or so into the trip home the bus comes to a hard stop. I was ready for it but the drunk sitting in front of me was not!
"Sorry about that pal - the car in front of me came to a quick stop and I had to hit the brakes hard." The bus driver was apologizing with a smile on his face after seeing the guy I am referencing fall out of his seat and onto the floor of the bus. The driver then asks the guy if he was OK. Turns out the guy was so fucked up he was incapable of getting up off the floor and back into his seat on his own. The bus driver puts the bus in park, walks back to the guy and helps him up. He then asks what stop he was exiting the bus from. The drunk bastard mumbles something to the driver and proceeds to pass out again. A couple stops go bye and the driver looks back at me and yells, "Dude, wake this guy up and tell him that we're at his stop." I nudge the guy and get no response. The driver then puts the bus in park again and walks back to the guy - "Watch this buddy!" He says to me with a smile, "This is my favorite thing to do when a guy passes out on my shift." He then grabs both of his arms, shakes him violently and yells. "Wake-up! The bus is at your stop!" I thought the drunk was going to have a coronary - that's how startled he appeared after being awoken.
The drunk exits the bus and then I tell the driver this - "Man, that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I bet you see it all driving a bus in Las Vegas." He looks at me and says, "You have no idea brother. About a week ago I had to wake another guy up from his drunken stupor. I scared him so much he ended up shitting his pants. I don't mind that people get on the bus drunk. It's a lot smarter than driving, but come on, I'm not a fucking babysitter! At least stay sober enough to get off the bus at your stop."
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