The village idiot of Las Vegas dreams of the Chiefs in a Super Bowl.

"Hope is a waking dream."

- Aristotle

A friend of mine recently posted a riddle to his Face Book page. The riddle pertained to what I would do first if my parents showed up at three in the morning for breakfast (see the great giraffe challenge). The correct response to the riddle seemed elementary so I answered. Naturally, my reply was wrong. The consequence for my blunder was changing my profile picture to a giraffe for three days and re posting the riddle to my page. Thank goodness, turns out I am not the only dummy in the world. A number of people responded to my re posting of the riddle and a majority were incorrect. I found solace, albeit not much, in knowing that I wasn't the only person who had to change their profile picture to a giraffe for three days.

I was still a twinkle in my father's eye when the Chiefs last made an appearance in the Super Bowl. I liken being a Chiefs fan to what it must have felt like to be a Red Sox fan before they finally ended their World Series drought (86 years). With that said, I can remember vividly going to Arrowhead when I was young, as the years progressed so did my passion for them. I have been quoted many times saying something of this nature. "All I want to see before I die is the Chiefs in the Super Bowl. They don't even have to win; they just have to make it there. That will be good enough for me. You can count on one thing! If they ever make it, I will be there!" Years have gone by since I last made that statement, yet I was reminded of it by an old friend of mine the other day. He said this to me, "If they make it you had better be there. I mean it has only been forty three years since their last visit and let's face it. You have been waiting a lifetime to see it happen."

I am going to venture out on a short limb and say this, "If the Chiefs can somehow get past Peyton Manning and grab home field advantage in the playoffs. They have a decent chance of getting to the Super Bowl. Counting your chickens before they hatch is never a good idea, but hey, it could happen!" I stated earlier in the post how 'all I wanted to see before I die is the Chiefs in the Super Bowl and my intentions of going if they made it.' Here I go again, me and my big mouth. If the Chiefs make it the Super Bowl, which is being held in NYC this year. I will make the trek to the 'Big Apple.' The problem being, at this juncture I have no idea how I would fund a journey of such magnitude. I'd probably have to hitchhike from Las Vegas to NYC, sleep on the street for a few days and then pray a ticket falls out of the sky for me. At the surface, an itinerary of such sounds ludicrous; the thing is, if the Chiefs are fortunate enough to make it to the Super Bowl this year; it would be a dream come true for me. Now think about this for a moment. How often do your dreams actually come true?

The village idiot of Las Vegas loses another job.

My new job is no more; the boss and I had far too many cultural and language barrier issues to overcome. It was a mutual parting and I want him to know that I wish nothing but the best for him. With that said, let me better explain the concept of online food ordering and delivery.

The concept is simple: Place a number of quality restaurants on a website and offer their food for sale. When a customer orders food from the site; they are given two choices. Do they want the food delivered? Do they want to pick the food up themselves? Revenue is generated by keeping a percentage of the food cost. Example- The industry norms for delivery are 18%-25% of pretax sale coupled with a buyer charge for delivery. Pick-up fees range from 10%-15% of pretax sale. According to a number of my friends in the restaurant business; the percentages charged by a service of this sorts fall below the traditional thirty-percent profit margin for food. Thus when a company utilizes the service; they make money, albeit incrementally.

Many of you reading the blog are similar to me in at least one fashion. Our youth was spent without the conveniences of an online world. I still long for those days every so often; but the truth is simple. The days I am reminiscing about are long gone. "Change is the one constant in life." A good friend of mine in Kansas told me that a long time ago. Everyday, the world becomes more and more convenient. Anything you want can be a few clicks away, including food.

Las Vegas is a town with lots up for grabs! Example; in the spring I was doing some contract/volunteer work for a site of this sorts. The majority of restaurants I signed for the service were located in the Chinatown district of Las Vegas. Within a month's time, I signed a number of restaurants with the assistance of a few of my contacts. The majority of the restaurants were established and had unlimited potential. Much to my chagrin, none of them were marketed properly after I signed them...So basically my efforts went for not. I have a remedy for that situation. My own site!

I state this with every shred of confidence I possess - If I had a quality website of my own, one that I had some control of; the contacts and ability to place scores of quality restaurants on the site are already established! I would then dedicate every waking moment promoting the heck out of the site and the restaurants on it.

The underlying problem is building a quality database. I have a solution for that as well. A good slice of the last twenty years of my life has been dedicated to selling and dealing with people and I have become very proficient at it. The last few weeks I spent a good portion of time marketing my previous employer's site. The response was healthy, a number of people in the businesses that I marketed had no idea a site of such nature existed in Las Vegas. The market for a service of this nature is ripe! The key is introducing it; and I will do that face to face with as many people as possible!

In conclusion, I would like to ask a favor from the readers of my blog. If you are well schooled in web design or know someone who is interested in building a site like the one I am describing, contact me. I would cherish the input. Before I go, I must add one more thing to the post; Attached is a link to the leading local site, it is a nice site. I have been told by a number of sources that it produces anywhere from fifty to a hundred orders a day, and the amazing thing is; the vast majority of people in Las Vegas that I talk with have never heard of it. I make that statement in order to give everyone a better idea of how 'wide open' this concept really is! www.roadrunnerfood.com

The village idiot of Las Vegas and the South American stunner.

Yesterday, my boss Pago and I had a long discussion about how things work in America. "What is it with all you Americans? If I was from this country originally, I would be millionaire many times over. You Americans don't know how good you have it compared to the rest of the world." I love Pago like a brother, known him since I moved to town, and a lot of things I agree with him on; but after a while it gets old listening to him bitch. So I always tell him the same thing. "If you don't like it here, you can always go back to your country. I will even help you pack."

Pago is a hard nosed motherfucker, most Eastern European guys are. He told me the other day that if I didn't get my ass in gear he was going to quote "scratch my ass." Every once in a while the language barrier is funny with him. So I felt it my job to correct him. "Pago, when you threaten a person. You don't tell them that you're going to scratch their ass. You tell them that you're going to put your foot up their ass or kick their ass. Guys from Kansas will think you're strange if you say you want to 'scratch their ass."

The last week and a half I have been visiting a number of businesses in the SW Las Vegas area. The purpose of the visits; spread the word about Pago's website, onlinerestaurants.com. The job is fairly simple; walk into as many businesses as possible and say this, "My name is Rob and we have a new website that I know you're going to love." I usually end up giving my pitch to the secretary or receptionist, but that's OK, some of them are listening, not to mention they play a big role in where the office decides to order lunch. The other day I walked into a plastic surgeon's office to give my pitch, and I saw her.

Everyone knows what my favorite thing in Las Vegas is; the Aphrodite standing directly in front of me ratified my thoughts. She was phenomenal! Brazilian maybe; but definitely South American. The skin was a light mocha, dirty blond hair; her smile was immaculate. When she looked at me and said may I help you; I thought I was going to faint. I gathered myself enough to give the pitch. After the pitch was over, she asked me this. "Do you have any vegetarian restaurants, I like to eat mostly vegan." Her body was phenomenal, this gal was very well kept; I managed to mumble this. "Yes Ma'am, we have the best vegetarian restaurant in town on our website. It is called 'The Veggie House' and we can deliver it to you anytime you would like." After my statement, she looked at me with a smile that could start a war and says, "You really know how to impress a lady."

This girl was a mile out of my league, but I was feeling a vibe, so I went for it. "Maybe, if you got some time? I know the owner really well at 'The Veggie House.' We could go down there and I could buy you dinner." My heart was about to pound out of my chest as I waited for her response. She gives me the up and down with a big smile on her face. I could have sworn she was getting ready to say yes and then, like always, something got in the way. "I am here for my two o'clock with the doctor." A patient had walked in and abruptly killed the mood. She left me hanging "Hi Judy, the doctor will be with you in a minute. I will be sure to check out your site when I get a chance. I have to go back to work now." When I walked out the door, I let out a deep breath. Even though she didn't say yes. I could sense some interest. My plan is to wait a week or so and then go back and see her with a meal from 'Veggie House' in tow.

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets offered a job by his friend Pago.

Things are looking on the up and up for me. No more homeless town! The credit for the turnaround is vast, I'll boil it down to two: Family and friends helped and I got a new job. Thanks again everyone for all the love and support:)

A few years back, I met a guy, a Bulgarian guy; he has been pushing a website of his called onlinerestaurants.com for some time now. It is a food delivery system set up along the industry norms. Well, my friend called me the other day and said he had a job for me. "Rob, I have a job for you, and I know it is one you're going to like. I want you to go to as many businesses and offices as you can and tell them about my site. I don't have much money, but I can pay you some."  Pago is an interesting story. He moved to Las Vegas about the time I did. We met at this Italian joint where I used to work and have been friends since. My underlying admiration for him is in the 'entrepreneur spirit' he possesses.

Job creators are a dying breed nowadays, so I accepted his offer without hesitation. The big reason I like Pago's job offer so much is because it mimics a number of concepts I am good at. I told him soundly, "You got a deal Pago. I will be your guy on the street! I have a number of accounts already established, plus I will call on all the businesses!" We then worked out a few minor details and just like that I was employed again.

It has been quiet on the lady front for me since Roxy left town. With that said, the new apartment complex I moved to has an attractive spa and hot-tub. Last night I decided to give it a whirl; as I'm sitting in the hot-tub all by lonesome; two ladies, both wearing robes, suddenly appear. They proceed to drop their robes and walk into the other side of the hot-tub: Lord knows; I have been saying this long enough; it is moments like these when I really appreciate living in Las Vegas. I did my best to strike up a conversation without trying to look too creepy. Both were cordial but not very receptive. I did get a few details though; both were from Israel originally, both had just moved to Las Vegas, both were looking for jobs in the entertainment industry. Fifteen minutes or so go by and they tell me they must leave, Svetka and Anivil were their names. As I watch them exit. Well, like I said earlier in the post; it's times like these when I know Las Vegas is the town for me.

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets drunk with a good ol' boy from Kansas.

Friday, I received a message from an old Kansas friend. He was coming to town for the weekend and was curious to know if I was interested in meeting for a drink. Naturally I accepted his offer. "I got to ask you something Robbie. What's the deal with Roxy? You haven't said much about her lately." Turns out my friend is a fan of the blog and had a few questions for me: Roxy is an interesting story, she was a Las Vegas call girl friend of mine and every so often she would give me a freebie. I considered her my part time girlfriend with the hope of it becoming permanent. One problem, the feeling wasn't reciprocal with her. Anyways, I told him this, "Roxy left town on me. She ended up moving back to San Diego with some 'Johnny California' type. Before she left, she told me she was giving up the life and starting anew with this douche bag. Bottom line, she was a mile and a half out of my price range." The two of us shared a chuckle and then he asked me what my price range was, my answer. "Free or they pay me. That's what I am looking for nowadays." Unfortunately for me, a plan like the one I quoted only works in 'Fantasyland.' How do I say this? The gals in Las Vegas are far too adept for a strategy of my sorts.

We were three or four drinks in when he asked me about a business idea I have been blogging about. "I have been reading your blog since the beginning and I am curious to know what you would do with, oh let's say, a thousand dollars. How would you improve your blog? What would be your first step? Most importantly, how would you make money?" I answered his questions directly. "Starting a web based business is all about hits! The more people who hit the site/blog the better chances of monetizing. The first thing I would do with an investment of that sorts is doll the blog up with video and pictures. Once the blog was dolled up. I would hire a number of panhandlers to push it; and when I say push it; I mean face to face interaction with as many people as possible. The money would be distributed piecemeal and the effectiveness would be judged by keeping track of hits through the analytic features of the site. If we get new hits/users (specifically in Las Vegas) to the site in a certain time frame, it is working, and then we look to sell product and services, but before that happens, a street level database has to be created! If we're not getting the intended results through the strategy, and we will know fast, a retool will happen immediately."

By now we were eight drinks deep when he said this to me. "I need to know one more thing; are you really as tight with the Chinese as you state in your blog?" A few months ago I was doing some contract work for an online food delivery/ordering site. I utilized my connections in Chinatown to sign up ten restaurants. I say this with all the confidence in the world! If I had a site of my own, one that I controlled, signing up another ten restaurants in Chinatown, even more, could be achieved lickety-split. With that in mind, I told my friend this, "I don't know what your politics tell you. Frankly I don't care, but if a would be entrepreneur isn't willing to shift some of their focus to both Asian businesses and consumers, especially in Las Vegas, well, in my humble opinion; that would be foolish. They are buying up the country and areas such as online food delivery/ordering are ripe for the pickings in Chinatown! That is just one area where they are under served! One last thing, look high, look low, look anywhere you want. It is impossible to find a gringo who knows and is connected in Chinatown better than me. That may not seem like much to some, but think about where the Asian economy is headed, especially in Las Vegas! I have been emphasizing this for a long time, and one of these days someone besides myself will take it to heart: There is plenty of room for small town white guys in China. The key is in the approach!"

My friend is a hell of a guy, he brought his daughter with him to Las Vegas for her twenty-first birthday. The three of us spent the better part of Saturday trying to drink every beer and bottle of Crown Royal in Las Vegas. We did our best but fell short. It was getting late and they had an early flight to catch in the morning. Right before we parted ways; he said something that I appreciated and pray it comes to fruition. "Robbie, I love reading about all your adventures in the blog, and so do a lot of other people back home. I am convinced that one of these days you will figure out how to make things work. When that happens, don't forget about your old buddy from Kansas."