Yesterday, my boss Pago and I had a long discussion about how things work in America. "What is it with all you Americans? If I was from this country originally, I would be millionaire many times over. You Americans don't know how good you have it compared to the rest of the world." I love Pago like a brother, known him since I moved to town, and a lot of things I agree with him on; but after a while it gets old listening to him bitch. So I always tell him the same thing. "If you don't like it here, you can always go back to your country. I will even help you pack."
Pago is a hard nosed motherfucker, most Eastern European guys are. He told me the other day that if I didn't get my ass in gear he was going to quote "scratch my ass." Every once in a while the language barrier is funny with him. So I felt it my job to correct him. "Pago, when you threaten a person. You don't tell them that you're going to scratch their ass. You tell them that you're going to put your foot up their ass or kick their ass. Guys from Kansas will think you're strange if you say you want to 'scratch their ass."
The last week and a half I have been visiting a number of businesses in the SW Las Vegas area. The purpose of the visits; spread the word about Pago's website, onlinerestaurants.com. The job is fairly simple; walk into as many businesses as possible and say this, "My name is Rob and we have a new website that I know you're going to love." I usually end up giving my pitch to the secretary or receptionist, but that's OK, some of them are listening, not to mention they play a big role in where the office decides to order lunch. The other day I walked into a plastic surgeon's office to give my pitch, and I saw her.
Everyone knows what my favorite thing in Las Vegas is; the Aphrodite standing directly in front of me ratified my thoughts. She was phenomenal! Brazilian maybe; but definitely South American. The skin was a light mocha, dirty blond hair; her smile was immaculate. When she looked at me and said may I help you; I thought I was going to faint. I gathered myself enough to give the pitch. After the pitch was over, she asked me this. "Do you have any vegetarian restaurants, I like to eat mostly vegan." Her body was phenomenal, this gal was very well kept; I managed to mumble this. "Yes Ma'am, we have the best vegetarian restaurant in town on our website. It is called 'The Veggie House' and we can deliver it to you anytime you would like." After my statement, she looked at me with a smile that could start a war and says, "You really know how to impress a lady."
This girl was a mile out of my league, but I was feeling a vibe, so I went for it. "Maybe, if you got some time? I know the owner really well at 'The Veggie House.' We could go down there and I could buy you dinner." My heart was about to pound out of my chest as I waited for her response. She gives me the up and down with a big smile on her face. I could have sworn she was getting ready to say yes and then, like always, something got in the way. "I am here for my two o'clock with the doctor." A patient had walked in and abruptly killed the mood. She left me hanging "Hi Judy, the doctor will be with you in a minute. I will be sure to check out your site when I get a chance. I have to go back to work now." When I walked out the door, I let out a deep breath. Even though she didn't say yes. I could sense some interest. My plan is to wait a week or so and then go back and see her with a meal from 'Veggie House' in tow.
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