Friday, April 25, 2014

The village idiot of Las Vegas runs into a living ghost.

One quarter, three dimes, two nickels and ten pennies. On second thought maybe it was two quarters, one dime, one nickel and ten pennies. Thinking back I can't remember the exact order. One thing is for sure, the amount I handed the clerk at the corner convenience store was equal to seventy five cents - the amount it takes to refill a 32 ounce cup with soda.

"You will find more nutritional value in snorting an eighth of an ounce of cocaine than you will find in drinking one can of soda." Those were the words of an old trainer friend of mine - but nonetheless, I was having an outrageous caffeine and sugar fit. So in the end, despite all my mental objections, I succumbed to it:

It was like being a kid again as I stood next to the soda fountain. Refilling the cup and gulping down a quarter of it and refilling it again. I repeated the process twice and then I paid the clerk. It was now time for me to step back out into the Las Vegas sunshine. What I was about to see would leave an everlasting impression on me.

"May I have a drink of your soda?" Las Vegas is full of meth heads; but the gal who had just asked me for a drink of my soda. How do I say this? She takes the cake! It was the hollow eyes and the sunken cheek bones or perhaps it was the Medussa hair and the rotted teeth. Seeing such a wretched looking creature in the flesh was absolutely gut wrenching. She looked beyond death warmed over. At the time it felt as if I were staring into the eyes of a witch and she would put a curse on me if I didn't accommodate the request. "Here, you can have the rest of it. I drank a bunch when I was in the store." I suddenly remembered how bad soda was for me and handed it over to my her. Somehow, I got the feeling she didn't care how bad soda is for people.

"Do you have a phone I could borrow? I want to call my girlfriend and see if she will come get me." That was her second question. At first I told her I didn't have any minutes left, which was untrue. The truth is I've turned into a clean freak the last six months or so and the thought of her scaly, scabby, slimy, filthy hands touching my phone was more than I could digest. And then I told myself not to be such a selfish prick - "I tell you what," I said "Give me the number and I will dial it for you. I will then put it on speaker phone and hold it close so you can hear and talk." Her friend answers and she tells her this - "Sheila, I have been outdoors for the last week and am crashing hard. Will you please come get me?" Her friend tells her that she will be there in an hour and not to go anywhere. She tells me thanks and I tell her she is welcome and with that said I put all the distance in the world between the two of us...She was that creepy and nasty!

I haven't shared a village idiot thought of the day in a long time. I was told by people smarter than me the segment was becoming stale. Well, for this particular post I am going to bring it back. "A lady like the one I just described is going to be lucky if she lives another month. Someone will probably find her lying dead in the gutter. It is sad."

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