A week or so ago I read an article about a gal in Las Vegas and her blind date. Both were shot and killed by her ex husband. The ex then turned the gun on himself. Below is a fictional third party retelling of the story:
"Goddamn, I got to be the luckiest guy in town. Man this girl is so hot, Vegas mama's are very nice. Jeez, only in Las Vegas could a loser like me find a girl this fucking hot. Hopefully, she will let me fuck her," his thoughts were narrow as he watched her slurp down a third martini. "Jerry, do you want to come back to my place? My mom is watching the kids for the weekend," his name was actually Larry, but he wasn't about to fuss over the small stuff. "Yes Ma'am and check please," Larry hadn't had sex in a long time. That streak was about to end, or so he thought.
A number of thoughts ran through his head as she pawed at him on the ride home. "Should I stop and get some condoms? Should I get a bottle of booze? I should have popped a Viagra," in the end he told himself to relax. "Jerry, turn here," Vegas mama purrs, "my condo is right down the street. I am going to show you the time of your life," she adds as she buries her tongue in his ear.
They are now both standing at her front door, she is fumbling in her purse, searching for the keys, and then it was like he appeared out of no where - "Bitch, what did I tell you about fucking other guys! You're such a fucking slut! Who is this jerk-off?" The baby daddy was now standing directly behind them, and he was angry, very angry! "Oh shit, that's my ex. You better get out of here," she tells Larry in a panicked tone. She then turns to her ex and starts yelling, "I have a fucking restraining order against you! You're not supposed to be here! I am going to call the cops!"
Vegas mama and her ex were nose to nose arguing and then it happened...just like that - "You're such a fucking whore? You don't love me anymore. Well fuck you!" The baby daddy pulls a gun from his waistband and promptly shoots Vegas mama a number of times at point blank range. Larry not Jerry, thinking this is all a nightmare, begins to pinch himself. "God let me wake up from this! This can't be happening! She doesn't even know my name!" Unfortunately things would prove to be all too real in the end. After shooting Vegas mama the ex calmly walks up to Larry; points the gun directly at his head and says - "You picked the wrong girl to fuck buddy. If I can't have her no one else can."
I wonder how Larry's conversation with Saint Peter went. I can sort of picture it. "What comes of you Larry? Why do you stand at the gates and request entrance?" Hopefully I don't have this talk with Saint Peter for a long time, but Larry's time was now. "Saint Peter, I messed up and got involved with a Vegas girl. That's why I stand before you now." Saint Peter shakes his head as if to indicate he has heard the story many times before and says. "Oh you poor soul." he then swings the pearly gates wide open, "We have a special section cordoned off in heaven for all of you Las Vegas idiots. Just follow the signs."
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