The village idiot of Las Vegas wishes his friend Mad Max a happy new year.

Today's version of the phrase Mad Max is best used as a connotation to describe chaos, disorder and anarchy - Example: "The other day I read an article in the Las Vegas Sun about a guy who got pissed off at a friend of his for sleeping with his wife. The guy was so distraught that he ended up shooting his wife and the friend who slept with her."

The following is a brief excerpt of a conversation I had with a friend of mine from Kansas recently. His nickname is Mad Max. He is an anarchist in every sense of the word:

"What the fuck is wrong with you boy? Don't you know the collapse is coming? You are just another one of the fucking sheep!" One of these days I am going to stop calling him. The conversations tend to be the same - "Furthermore, you stupid prick! Have you started stockpiling all the necessities like I told you?" I have been listening to his anti government rhetoric for close to thirty years. Now that I think about it -- it's been thirty years plus.

A particular incident, when we were kids, stands out to me: He got a ticket for not having his dog fenced -- the next thing you know he's at the pound cursing and threatening the dog catcher -- "How the fuck is she hurting you?" - those were his exact words as he tore the ticket to shreds and threw it in her face, he then added -- "You better get my fucking dog before I get really pissed!" The gal, who was the dog catcher in town at the time, was so frightened by him (just like everyone else came to be) that she gave him back his dog and apologized for giving him a ticket. Looking back, I believe that was the exact moment his disdain for government was born.

"Now listen up moron! I believe the collapse is going to happen somewhere towards the middle of the new year. You would be best to get your stupid ass out of the west and back to Kansas.
I could use the help prepping," the rhetoric tends to grow old quickly. So I wish him a happy new year and tell him I must be on my way - his parting words to me -- "I bought another ten thousand rounds of ammo. You would be well served doing the same. Just remember, the shit house is going to catch fire real soon. Be fucking ready!"

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets some Christmas cheer from his friend Mad Max.

Today's version of the phrase Mad Max is best used as a connotation to describe chaos, disorder and anarchy -- Example: "A guy, who lives just down the street from me, got mad at his dealer for shorting him. He was so pissed that he pulled the dealer from his car and beat him an inch from his life."

Last night I called my friend Mad Max. He is an anarchist in every sense of the word. The following is a brief excerpt of our conversation:

"Shut your pie hole!" I yell rudely, "Every time we talk it is the same bullshit with you. The country isn't going to collapse! It's called change you fucking moron!" I was anticipating a little holiday cheer when I called. What was I thinking? -- "Listen moron," he yells emphatically, "You are going to be the first person to capitulate when the bastards we have running the show declare martial law. Goddammit boy! When are you going to fucking wake up?"

He's been anti establishment since the day he could walk -- "Listen asshole," I say forcefully, "You are one of those guys who gets up in the morning and takes marching orders from Fox News -- I agree with you that things are fucked up in the world, but come on...do you really think an outright collapse is coming?

He begins rattling off everything he can think of (immigration reform, Obama care, federal debt). You name it, he spurted it. "So what!" I say forcefully after his tirade, "What the fuck are you going to do about it?" -- I am pretty far out there, but Mad Max...he's fifty-fold farther. That's disturbing!

"Be a sheep! It's totally up to you," the fifth of Jack Daniel's he swallowed before my calling was beginning to hit overdrive, he then adds - "I will be ready for the collapse. My sources tell me it is imminent in 2015. That's when the new Congress takes office. All I can tell you son. It's coming!"

I can only take so much of his rhetoric, so I tell him I must be on my way and wish him Happy Holidays. His parting words - "You think I am fucking kidding about the state of our country. You think I am crazy. I want to tell you this before I go. When the shit house catches fire, and you have to run for cover. You are welcome to take cover with me. Don't be one of the sheep!"

A disturbing phone call.

"Hey Babe. How are you?" I thought it awkward Roxy would be calling. The other night she emphatically stated we were finished. Could it be she had a change of heart? I was praying for just that when I saw her number on Caller ID today --"Who is this?" - the voice on the other end of the line didn't sound like Roxy.

I check my Caller ID again to make sure I hadn't misread...sure enough it read Roxy. "Who is this?" I ask politely. "This is Chad," a husky voice says, "Why is your number on my girls phone? And why the hell did you say Babe when you answered?" 

Roxy's new boyfriend is named Chad. It didn't take long to put two and two together. He was suspicious, and checking her phone - "I am a friend of Roxy's," I say cautiously, "I call everyone Babe. It's no big deal." There was an awkward silence, and he says - "You fucked her. Didn't you?" I tell him I have no idea what he is talking about and how I must be on my way. Before I can hang up, he yells forcefully -- "She cried all last night! And won't tell me what is wrong," he then yells forcefully again, "You fucked her, didn't you? Man, if I ever see your ass, I am going to pound it!"

I tell him again I have no idea what he is talking about -- "Shut-up!" he yells forcefully yet again, "You had better pray I never see your ass. You hurt her! And that is unacceptable!" I tell him once again I have no idea what he is talking about. I then hang up.

This isn't the first time I've had a telephone conversation with one of Roxy's boyfriends (not at my behest). This poor bloke has no idea what he has gotten himself into. She has him twisted like a pretzel. I understand why he is upset. Men are willing to lay everything on the line for a breed of women like her...she is absolutely alluring!

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets some sad reality from Roxy.

"Jethro - I knew I shouldn't have slept with you again. Jesus, how is a guy who lives in some shit hole in North Las Vegas going to take care of a girl like me? Look, you know that I care for you. But we are never going to be together in the way you want. It is not going to happen!" I called Roxy last night - just to remind her how much I love her. Unfortunately for me, the old Roxy was back - "Furthermore, you know what kind of girl I am. God, as much as I can't stand being called a whore. That's what I am. It is my job to make guys fall in love with me.You need to let go. I have."

I know what kind of girl she is, believe me, I am not that naive. It's just that people change. I know I have. Why can't she? - "Roxy, I know I am a loser, but I am an adorable loser - you even said so. But you also said I had potential. Maybe if we were together you could bring it out," I want to be with her so bad that I will say anything to appease her.

I hear a deep sigh after my remark - and she says, "We make each other feel good when we're together. That's it! That's what I am good at! But to think we could be together all the time is ridiculous," she lets out another deep sigh, and adds, "Jethro, this time I mean it for real. I really do! I am never sleeping with you again. It is too intense. It's not good for either one of us!"

The village idiot of Las Vegas goes to Roxy's hotel room.

I have rolled it over and over in my head a thousand times. She has a hold on me that can't be broken. She's a drug...a very addictive drug.

"Where's Chad?" The text I received Thursday night said she would be in town Friday and wanted to meet around seven. It failed to mention anything about her new beau. "He got caught up at work and won't fly in until tomorrow morning," she tells me with a devilish grin as she guides me by the hand into the room.

Roxy is of the breed of women who instantly brings calm to a man. It's a trait she developed in the many years of her chosen profession. "Jethro," she says in her sultry voice, "Why don't you sit down and let me pour you a drink. Oh, by the way, thanks for scoring me the room. I appreciate it."

She pours the drink, sits next to me on the bed and says - "You look good. It looks like you have lost some weight," I smile and tell her I have been working out and eating healthier - she adds, "I can tell. You are starting to resemble the guy I fell for. Keep it up."

I tried keeping my emotions in check, but the moment proved too much - "Roxy, you are the most beautiful women I have ever seen. You already know how much I love you. I want to be with you more than anything," the conviction in my voice brought a blush to her tan cheeks and a pearly white smile to her face.

"Jethro," she says with a sigh, "Why do you have to say things like that to me? Don't you know what kind of girl I am?" - she gets up from the bed, faces me and adds, "Why do you have to be so fucking adorable?" She then unstraps the tangerine sundress she's wearing and wiggles it all the way to her feet.

Introspect was the last thing on my mind at this point - "Babe," I say as I grab her by the waist and toss her on the bed, "Let's save the psychobabble bullshit for another time."

"You want to see my piercing again," she giggles as I lift her hips from the bed and gently unravel her panties to her ankles...she kicks them off from there. I immediately began kissing her tan, tone stomach. Moments later my face is buried in her lady spot.

"Goddammit Jethro," she moans in ecstasy, "Why do you do this to me? God, this feels so fucking good," a few minutes pass and she purrs, "Are you going to fuck me again?" -- she has a sexy habit of asking the most obvious questions when we are together. It's an absolute turn on! This time I thought it would be funny to use a bit of reverse psychology - "No," I tell her as I crawl off the bed and began peeling my clothes off, "Not going to happen," she smiles after the crack and says, "I seriously doubt that."

I leap back onto the bed, position myself between her legs, grab her by the waist and gently ease her to me. "Goddammit Jethro," she moans in ecstasy yet again, "Tell me one thing before you get started. Are you going to put us being together in your blog again?" I say yes - she says, "Good, your blog sucks nowadays. Now you can give your friends something interesting to read about."

I stayed with her until the wee hours of the morning. We made love a number of times, showered together, ordered room service and talked about all the different things happening in our lives. It was phenomenal!

We are standing at the door, in each other's arms, as I am preparing to leave. I tell her once more how much I love her and how I would give anything to be with her. "Jethro," she cries, "Don't fucking say that! Don't ruin what we have!" - she nudges away from me, wipes tears from her eyes, opens the door and shows me out. "I will talk with you soon," were her parting words as the door closes in my face.

The village idiot of Las Vegas agrees to get Roxy and her new boyfriend a room again.

"Look, Jethro," she says with her sultry voice over the telephone, "I will never ask you to score me a room again. It's just that Chad got a ticket for the fights Saturday night and he wants me to come to Las Vegas with him. I told him you would get us a room. So do what you do Jethro! And find us a room for the weekend!" - It's got to be her audacity that turns me on the most -- No, I know it is!

"Roxy, I told you last time I was never going to get a room for you and one of your boyfriends again. I made it perfectly clear...OK! Find your own room," it's awkward having the women you love ask to line out a hotel room for her and her boyfriend. Being the fool I am --I did it once, but not again...no more laughing stock of the neighborhood...no more!

"Look, Jethro," she says in her sultry voice again, "Why do you have to be so difficult? All I want you to do is call and get me a room. I have to tell you something, and maybe this might change your attitude. I miss you a little - Chad is great, but he is young. All he thinks about is sports and work. He doesn't have the experience you do. So maybe when Chad is at the fights, you could come over and we could...well, you know. But that won't happen if you don't get me a room!"

Sleeping with Roxy is bliss, pure bliss! So when the opportunity comes my way...I take advantage of it - "Look, I will get you a room for the weekend. When do you think we can hook up?" I ask excitedly. "Chad," she says coyly, "Is going to be at the fights Saturday night, and then he will probably go to a strip joint with his buddies. You can come over when he is gone. I promise you can play with my piercing again."