Cocaine, whiskey and hookers.

The other day I chatted with a friend of mine from the Midwest in order to encourage him to attend Village Idiot Armada Days (VIAD) which is scheduled for June 22-26 in Las Vegas:

The first thing he says after I extend the invitation is - "Do you know what the three most important marketing tools are for attracting people to an event?" I give the standard answer - "That would be research, presentation and convenience." He responds by saying - "Wrong! The three most important tools for attracting people to an event are cocaine, whiskey and hookers. It has been tried and true for years. I am telling you those are the things that bring people in."

I'm no spring chicken, that much is for sure, so when he shared with me his secret for building a better mousetrap I couldn't help but laugh and say - "It isn't that I don't agree with you, but VIAD isn't that kind of event. I'm billing it as more of a family/friend kind of thing. Coke, whiskey and hookers don't fall into that genre. Besides, this will be the first year for VIAD so there is no room in the budget for those sort of amenities."

We share a few laughs and he says jokingly - "I thought you were a marketing genius? Hell, you don't even know the three keys to planning a successful event. Jeez, I got you pegged all wrong." My friend is a good ol' boy from Kansas who likes to tease, that's okay with me. I would rather deal with humor than descent any day of the week - "Look," I say with a wide smile, "If that's what honks your horn I could very discreetly arrange, well, let's just say, 'I can point you in the right direction." I hear a roar of laughter after my statement and he says, "I would probably have to run it by wife and kids because they most likely will be with me. I'm pretty sure what their answer will be."

I really admire this guy. He's provided a number of insights to me through the years. It would be awesome if he could attend VIAD and listen to the spiel - I add before our conversation ends - "If you come to VIAD I promise I will make things interesting and entertaining. Besides, there should be a number of other good ol' boys and girls from the Midwest in attendance who hail from the same area as us. Think of it as a Kansas reunion in the desert."