"My body is giving out on me buddy - My mind is still as sharp as a tack though." Uncle Ned has lead an interesting life. The tail end is in sight & it is time to reflect - "Have you ever considered writing a book about your life & times? The average schmuck walking around would be impressed. I'm sure they would find your past hijinks entertaining. I certainly do."
My encouragement about the whole book idea stems from the fact Ned was partially schooled in Europe & frequented the continent many times through the 80's & 90's - "I miss Europe with a passion good buddy," he tells me with some zing in his voice - "What I wouldn't give for one last trip to see her," this time with reflection - "Don't get old you little nephew village idiot of mine. Getting old ruins all your plans in life," he adds with a tone of despair.
"Ned, tell me about the time you unwittingly walked into a sting over in France." -- "It was Monaco actually," he replies - The tale I remember is he was driving along in some town in Monaco & there was an attractive lady walking down the sidewalk & he decided to stop and see how she was - "You should have seen her. Tall, beautiful, accent, charming...she was your typical French girl. I had some time to kill so I pulled over to talk. The next thing you know I am giving her a ride into the next town."
During the 80's Ned had stripper girlfriends in four European countries - "I immediately thought stripper when she got in the car. There was an inn I had been to before & I asked her if she wanted to go. That's how things worked in Europe back then. Now I'm cruising along & playing grab ass with a gorgeous French girl sitting next to me - the next thing you know the car I'm driving gets boxed in by four police cars. I knew right then I was in trouble - I just looked at her and said 'What did you do?"
Ned had inadvertently implanted himself in the middle of a sting operation. The beautiful French girl he intended to bed was part of a fraud ring & the police had been surveying her and the rest of the ring for three days. They were minutes away from sweeping her up when Ned showed - "Look, I don't know this lady. I was just giving her a ride into town. I told the cops they had the wrong guy and I was just in the wrong place. The cops told me I would be detained until the detective arrived. I asked how long it would take and they told me an hour or two."
I can't help but laugh when I picture Ned setting in jail figuring out how he was going to explain his way out of things - "After an hour or so the detective walks into the room. The first thing he says is - "You wanted to make love to that women. Tell me the truth Yankee.' - I didn't know what to say so I told him I stopped to give her a ride & before I could get much farther he interrupts and says - 'Is there something wrong with French women Yankee? Do you not like to make love to them? When a French man picks a beautiful women up he wants to make love to her.' - After he said that I knew things were looking good for me. They ended up letting me go shortly after."
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