The Reckoning is coming...

The other day I called Mad Max from Kansas. He believes a 'Reckoning' of some sort is closing in on all of us:

"Trump motherfucker!" 

"What's going on Mad Max?"

"Getting ready for a Reckoning village idiot. What about you?"

"Reckoning," adding with laughter, "It's so funny when you say it. Even to this day I laugh."

"What's so funny about it?" 

"When you say, 'The Reckoning is coming,' I picture fire raining down from the sky and zombies marching everywhere like you see in the movies. Come On man! Do you really think that is going to happen?"

"Baa, baa, baa," he repeats in unison, "Do you know what that sound is?"

"Yes, I know what that sound is. It's the sound sheep make as they are being lead to slaughter. Get some new material Mad Max."

"You get some new material asshole," adding angrily, "Why do you think things are so funny?"

"They just are," is my reply.

"Like I said from the beginning. Your fat pasty ass will be the first to capitulate. It's pathetic."

He's been overusing the word capitulate lately. I had to tease him about it.

"Capitulate, Jesus, you don't even know what that means. Give me a break genius."

My statement angers him more.

"Let me put it in sentence form for you," sarcastically adding, "My name is Rob and my fat pasty ass will be the first to capitulate.' Does that make better sense for you moron?"

"You're a funny guy Mad Max. I need to correct you on something though."

"What?"

"I've been spending a lot of time at the pool and have a nice tan going. Calling me pasty is incorrect. I'm still fat though."

"Okay genius," in a mocking tone, "How's this sound instead? 'Your fat worthless ass will be the first to capitulate."

"Worthless sounds a lot better. Thank you for dropping the pasty part."

"Jesus boy, wake the fuck up! Do you want to survive?"

"Survive what?"

"The fucking Reckoning you moron," anger in his tone ever more.

"Are you talking about when fire starts raining down and zombies begin to march in the streets? I'll deal with it when I see it."

"Baa, baa, baa," is his immediate response to my mocking his beliefs, "You really are clueless. I want you to remember something boy."

"What's that Mad Max?"

"They are coming for your fat worthless ass real soon," he then hangs the phone up without saying goodbye.