"I'm telling you the internet is the greatest thing since Patrick Mahomes. It's like an all you can eat twenty four hour buffet."
Chuck is better served keeping it in his pants.
"What do you tell all these women when you meet up? Hi, my name is Chuck and I live with my mother."
"That's funny village idiot, I leave that part of the conversation out. I usually tell them I'm a bounty hunter or something interesting. The truth is they don't care. They are there for the same reason I am."
"How many of these women have you hooked up with?"
"More than you can count on all your fingers and toes," is his answer.
The son of a bitch is pushing fifty with no job, money or future. The only thing the horny bastard thinks about is which suburban house wife or recent divorcee he is going to bed next. It's as if he is reliving his twenties again. One problem though. He's fifty!
"Chuck, I envy you in a way. All those women eating out of your hand. It sounds like a hell of a lot fun. How do you keep your stamina? Let's face it you are hardly a young buck anymore."
"Whiskey & Viagra," he proclaims, "As long as you have plenty of both you will be a popular guy in the Ashley Madison world. I also carry a bag of hybrid with me as well, a lot of chic's nowadays are into it, especially the younger ones."
"What kind of hybrid?"
"King Louie is my current crop."
He mentioned in a previous conversation most of the women pay for the hotel room and some even give him money. I asked if that was still the case.
"Not lately, the last one I hooked up with wanted me to pay for the hotel and I told her I forgot my wallet. It still worked out though. I got in her car and we drove to a secluded spot and took care of business. After we were through she dropped me back at my car and we both went our merry ways. It reminded me of my younger days."
"When do you see your next one?"
"Either tonight or tomorrow, this lady from Chicago comes into town every month for business and I'm her current thing. She takes me to dinner and then it's back to the room for some fun. I always leave before eleven because she has to be up early for meetings."
"How long has that one been going on?"
"Four or five months. She is an Ashley Madison babe, those are the best ones to hook up with."
"Why?"
"Most of the women who use the service are well kept. The reason they sleep with a guy like me is always the same. Their husband or boyfriend cheated on them and they feel by being with me they are evening the score."
"Do you ever fall in love with any of them? Is there a wife number six somewhere in the mix?"
"I fall in love fifty times a day. It never sticks though. I'm through with marriage for good. Nowadays I am perfectly content being some lonely ladies paramour on Ashley Madison."
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