I called Roy today in order to see how things were going after the beating suffered by Kansas City in the Super Bowl:
"Now is not a good time, the old lady is on the warpath," it's obvious the money he lost on the Super Bowl is having an effect on his marital status, "She says it's all your fault that I lost our money. You egged me on is what she is saying. She doesn't like you one bit."
Roy's first wife was a sweetheart. He couldn't keep it in his pants & she had problems keeping her legs crossed. It's too bad because they were a great couple. Now he's married to some gal he met at a bar a while back. I have never officially acknowledged her existence & she mine - until now.
"Give me that fucking phone! I want to talk with this asshole!" A female voice in the background is upset & angry, "Did this dumb fuck tell you how much money he lost on the Chiefs? You are part of the reason he lost the money," it's been a long time since a women addressed me in such an unpleasant manner. Roy's soon to be ex third wife's name is Dana & she is about to get an earful from me.
"Now you listen to me lady! I didn't hold a gun to his head & tell him to bet all his money on the Chiefs. He did that all by himself. He's been betting on games long before you were around sweetheart. I can't help it if he is a degenerate. Don't act like you don't know because you do. I'm telling you right now to lose the attitude."
"Did he tell you how much he lost?" Anger stewing in her voice.
Roy never gives up the actual amounts of his bets. I know they are large though. He's weird like that.
"How much did the idiot bet?"
"This stupid, moron, asshole lost twenty five thousand dollars on the game," anger in her voice stewing evermore.
Whew, I knew he took an ass whipping. I would have guessed in the ten thousand range, but you never know with Roy. He is an impulsive person.
"I can see why you are pissed," is my conciliatory response to her, "It's still not my fault. He did that on his own volition. Don't drag me into it!"
"You are partially responsible for this morons action. You started in with all this Legend bullshit & it made him act stupid."
Back in the day everyone referred to Roy as Legend. He scored game winning touchdowns; drove fancy cars; dated beautiful girls; knocked guys out with one punch & picked winners like it was nothing. Nowadays, he is a shadow of the man he use to be. When I chatted with him earlier about the game. It was to instill some confidence in his pathetic self. I didn't tell him to bet his entire wad on it. He did that all by his lonesome. I tell his soon to be third ex wife the same thing.
"Look, I'm not going to argue with you anymore about it. Here is your dip shit, broke ass, has been Legend friend. Maybe he can explain it to you better how bad he fucked up," she then yells, "Get over here you fucking asshole! Your village idiot friend wants to give you some more advise on a fucking game."
"Dude I got to go," are the first words he says returning to the phone, "I will be looking for a new place to live soon thanks to the Chiefs laying a fucking egg. I told you this would happen if the Chiefs didn't win."
"Why did you bet so much? You know how this shit goes. I'll be honest with you, when your wife said you lost 25k on the game I about fell out of my seat...Jesus Roy."
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