Tyreek motherf%$%er!...

I called my friend Gus in Las Vegas today to discuss my workouts:

"Sorry to hear about your idol losing the election," is his greeting.

"He's not my idol for the hundredth time. Tyreek Hill is my fucking idol! He'll even be more so when the Chiefs bring home another title. That's my idol, not the guy you are talking about!"

"Why do you have his bumper sticker on your car if he's not you idol?"

"I don't have his bumper sticker on my car dumb shit."

"That's not what I heard," a snicker in his voice.

"You heard wrong boy. Tyreek motherfucker! That's my idol!"

I met Gus a number of years ago at a sweat shop in Chinatown. It wasn't really a sweat shop. It was a big call center (think of it as a sweatshop with phones). Gus is a no bullshit transplant from the east coast who's spent a vast amount of time in the weight room. He convinced me to lift heavy nowadays.

"How's the legs going?" 

"Hard as hell buddy. I saw Tweety bird the other day during my squats. I powered through it any way.

Seeing Tweety bird is gym slang for when you think you might pass out because the lift is more than your nervous system can handle.

"Seeing Tweety bird is a good thing," he proclaims, "Remember, Tweety bird is your friend. When he shows up it means you are growing."

"He doesn't seem like my friend when I'm about ready to pass out."

"Can I give you some additional advise?"

"If it's not about lifting, I don't want to hear it."

"Stop calling Tyreek Hill your idol," ignoring my request, "It makes you look stupid."

"I can call anyone I want my idol," proclaiming, "When the Chiefs win the Super Bowl again he will be that much more my idol."

"Find a better idol is all I am telling you," adding "What about Larry Bird? You told me he was your idol long before Trump became your idol. Why don't you go back to him being your idol?"

"First of all, Trump was never my idol to begin with. Larry Legend got old on me; make no mistake I still revere the man. I needed to update my idol for today's time. Tyreek Hill is my favorite player on my favorite team. He's the perfect fit to be my idol nowadays."

"Okay, whatever," adding in a mocking tone, "It makes you look stupid telling people Tyreek Hill is your idol. That's all I am saying."

"Why does it make me look stupid?"

"You are a fifty year old man wearing a Hill jersey that's a size to small running around telling everyone he is your idol. Come on man! Think about it for a minute."