"Hey Roxy, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" For those of you not familiar with my blog? Roxy..aka..Foxy Roxy..is a high end call girl friend of mine in Las Vegas. I like to think that the two of us might have some kind of future together. Her thoughts on the matter? Not so much..Anyways, I was looking for a spot to hang out on Thanksgiving, so I thought I would try to invite myself over to her place..."My mother and her boyfriend are coming into town from San Diego and I'm having a few of my friends over as well." I've actually had Roxy cook for me on a few rare occasions, and it was awesome. Before she got into the life, she was a waitress and a sous' chef at a high end restaurant in San Diego, she gave up that life a long time ago when she realized she could make more money sleeping with her customers rather than serving or cooking them food.
"Roxy, do you think you could find another place at the Thanksgiving table for your friend from Kansas? I can help you prepare the food, plus, I'll bring a bottle of booze for everyone to share." If I waited for Roxy to invite me? Well, lets put it this way, I would be waiting a long time. So I took the initiative to invite myself and see what her answer was. Unfortunately for me, I got an expected response.."Look moron, do you really think I want to introduce you to my mother,or any of my friends? I can see it now. Mom this is my broke, loser, stalker friend from Kansas. His name is Jethro. I made the mistake of sleeping with him a couple times and now he won't leave me alone. Do you really think I want to do that?" A simple no would have sufficed, but Roxy is not a simple girl.."Can you save me a plate? Leave it out on your front porch and I'll sneak up and get it when know one is paying attention?" Like I said earlier, Roxy is an excellent cook, and I'm positive her Thanksgiving viddles would be delicious.
"Jethro, if you want a Thanksgiving meal? Why don't you make your way down to the Mission with all the other bums. You would be right at home, and they would feed you for nothing." First of all, I've told Roxy a hundred times my name is not Jethro, it's Rob! Obviously she doesn't care, secondly, I'm not at all interested in getting a free meal at the Mission, those meals are reserved for people who truly need them. I could tell that I was getting on her nerves, so I decided that it was time to go.."Have a good Thanksgiving Roxy, I know everyone is going to enjoy your awesome cooking." Usually Roxy just hangs up on me without a fare well. Not this time, she said something very interesting.."Jethro, can you do a favor for me?" Roxy is a definite candidate for the third great one, so if she wants me to do a favor for her? No problem! "What's the favor Roxy. You name it!" I should have known better! "Jethro, I want you to kick yourself in the nuts 10 times for me, and then delete my number from your phone!" Oh, that Roxy, she's such a ham..
I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. My plans are pretty simple, find a turkey dinner, drink heavily, watch football, take a nap, and that's about it. Sounds like a plan to me."
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