"Hi Grandma, it's your grandson Rob in Las Vegas." Don't let the age fool you! Grandma is still sharp as a tack! "What's going on in Haven?" Grandma Astle has spent all of her life in Haven, Kansas. She's a genuine daughter of the Kansas plains. "Robbie, how are things going in Las Vegas?" The last time Grandma Astle was in Las Vegas, Frank Sinatra was headlining at the Sand's. "Same old stuff Grandma, just trying to find my way out here in the wild, wild, west." I do my best to explain how things are to her, but she's way to old to understand much of it.."Grandma did your guy win in the election?" Last time we chatted was a few weeks before the election, she still hadn't made up her mind on who she was voting for.."Robbie, I'm so old that it doesn't really matter who I vote for, but to answer your question, no he did not. Did your guy win?" I'd explained to Grandma in previous conversations that I was a Libertarian, but she wasn't quite sure what I was talking about.."Grandma, unfortunately my guy did not win either."
We chat about a few other things and then she asked me if I had met any nice ladies in Las Vegas lately.."Grandma, I tell you what, they're are a ton of them out here, but your poor grandson never seems to have much luck with them. Grandma, I hate to say this, but it's 'No Money, No Honey' out in Las Vegas, and your grandson don't have anything in his pockets but lint." Grandma Astle is a way back in the day old school type, and the one thing she can't stand is an excuse.."Robbie, every time I ask you that question, you always say that. Surely you can find a girl in Las Vegas who likes you for you and doesn't care about the money?" Lying to your grandma is like committing blasphemy in my eyes. So, I thought long and hard before I answered her question. It didn't do any good. My answer was still the same. "Grandma, I wish I could give you another answer, but it's true. The women in Las Vegas are way out of my league! But if it makes you feel any better? I still try like hell."
We chat about a few other things and then she asks me if I've heard from my ex-wife lately. Grandma really liked my ex, and my ex really liked Grandma.."Robbie wasn't she going to move back out to Las Vegas and help you get things started on a few of your ideas. That's what your father told me. You should have never let her go." Grandma and Grandpa Astle were married for 72 years. That's an Astle record that will never be broken, so explaining my current relationship with my ex is a little bit tricky.."Grandma, I thought that a while back, but I don't know what she's planning? I am catching this vibe. Whatever she is planning? It don't include yours truly." Grandma started laughing after I made that statement.."You messed up by letting her get away." Grandma likes to cut right to the chase.
"Enough about that Grandma. What's going on in Kansas?" Needling Grandma for the latest gossip in the Astle clan is a must. "More of the same Robbie. If their is anything interesting happening. I'm none the wiser to it. Know one tells me much anymore. I'm just to old. About the only person I talk to on a consistent basis is your cousin Linda, and she never has a lot to say." Cousin Linda lives 4 houses down from Grandma, and does an excellent job of looking after her. "Grandma, I've got to go. I'll call you in a few weeks and check in. Maybe by then? I might have something interesting to tell you..Love you." As much as I enjoy my conversations with Grandma, the end of them are always the best. Why? She always tells me that she loves me and to keep pushing on:) I never hear that from anyone but her..
I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."Grandma is not quite in tune with what's going on in the world, especially Las Vegas. I make it a point to tame down my rhetoric when I talk to her. I just want Grandma to live the rest of her life in peace and tranquility. If anyone deserves it? It's her!"
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