It had been a while since I chatted with uncle Ned, so I called him last night. The conversation immediately turned to Roxy. "It is always the same with you and these bitches in Las Vegas. You find one you like; they get to know you, they don't want anything to do with you and the cycle repeats itself. Am I not right about things?" Uncle Ned has never been a guy to soft-soap, and that's OK. I needed some brutally honest advice. But things were different this time. "Goddammit Ned! I love this girl and I think she loves me. This is the one!" Ned believes Roxy is nothing more than 'damaged goods' and I would be much better predicated by setting my sites on more virtuous women.
"This girl is a whore! She sleeps with people for money! You are a fucking idiot to fall for a women like that. What would your mother think? I bet she's rolling over in her grave right now. And to add insult to injury. She is shacked up with another guy! She's not even around you! When are you going to wake up? Jesus, it's no wonder your blog is called the village idiot. Because that is what you are." Ned's diatribe was countered by my standard rebut - "I love her and love makes you do silly things." He wasn't buying the love bug story and told me such, "You love chocolate chip ice cream, you love puppies, you love your grandmother....you don't love a whore! Trust me, those are the worst women in the world to fall for. Get your head out of your ass boy!."
Ned ranted a few minutes more and then I told him this. "I know her profession isn't very noble. But it's Las Vegas. To me it is just a business. So her being a call girl doesn't really bother me. Besides, she told me she is doing her best to get out of the business." My statement wasn't true at all. It does bother me that she is a working girl. But what am I supposed to do about it? I then added this to the conversation, "Ned, I believe Roxy and I are destined to be together. It's a higher power calling the shots on this one. Why can't you be supportive of how I feel?"
I should have left good enough alone! When I told him that it was a 'higher power' calling the shots - he really let me have it. "Oh, so now it is a higher power calling the shots with you and every one's favorite pin cushion. Do you know how dumb that sounds? Look, Jethro, I am getting tired of hearing about this broad. And so is everyone else. It sounds like you are nothing more than a punching bag for her. You are just too dumb to realize it. Now before I go, I want you to get this though that thick skull of yours. Don't believe the hooker with a heart of gold story! It's like believing in unicorns. It doesn't fucking exist! Forget about this hussy and move on!"
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