The village idiot of Las Vegas gets a call from his cousin Sally.

Yesterday, I received a phone call with a 913 area code extension. Usually I don't answer numbers that I am unfamiliar with, but since it had a Kansas City area code extension, I decided to answer. "Hello, this is Rob," after my greeting, I  hear a voice from the past say - "Don't you mean Jethro. You fucking moron." Jesus, if it wasn't cousin Sally and all her glory on the other line. "Sally, what the hell have you been doing?" I say enthusiastically.  A while back the two of us got into a quarrel and I was beginning to wonder if I would ever talk with her again..

"Jethro, is that what people are calling you nowadays? It sounds like a pretty good fit to me. You always were a goofy son of a bitch...just like Jethro Bodine. Look, I have been reading your blog and it ratifies to me and everyone else how pathetic you are. Why don't you leave that poor girl alone." No hello, no how have you been, no nothing. It was just Sally being her surly self. And in a weird kind of way I missed it - big time. "Sally," I say with exuberance in my tone, "I just want to tell you something. It is good to hear your voice again. Now, I need to tell you this as well. I love this girl! The two of us were meant to be together. I realize the road has been rocky. But nonetheless, we were meant for each other."

Cousin Sally is a spitting image of uncle Ned. So when I gave her the meant to be together spiel, she didn't buy it - not one bit - "Look, you are making a fool of yourself. Let's face it, you're really good at doing that. If this Roxy girl wants you, and I don't see how in the world that would ever happen. But if she really wants you. She will come to you. Jesus, you were always lousy with women and it sounds like nothing has changed." As ornery as she was being, it still felt good to hear her voice. I just so happened to be in the middle of something. So I thanked her for the input and told her I was busy and I would get back to her. She tells me this before she hangs up. "Don't bother, I just couldn't take reading your blog anymore and had to call you and let you know how I felt."