Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The village idiot of Las Vegas is convinced his ex wife is the culprit in all the recent road rage shootings in Las Vegas.

"Come On - just tell me the truth. I promise I won't turn you in for the reward money. We both know you are in town again. It is time to come clean!" My ex wife suffered bouts of road rage when she lived in Las Vegas - In the last week, with gunshots reported, there have been three cases of road rage incidents in Clark county.

"It wasn't me," she says, "I have not been to Las Vegas in a few months. I already told you that," she adds. I'm not sure if I believe her based on the perpetrators description - "Look," I tell her politely, "How come the description fits you to a tee? In every situation they are saying it is a middle age Caucasian women driving an Explorer and a party colored toy poodle is setting in the passenger seat barking. That sounds a lot like you and Pepper," I conclude.

"You want to know something," she says, "I sold my gun a while back and the only thing I have now is a couple of double barrels, and they are at my sisters. So it couldn't have been me," she concludes. "I know what the deal is," I tell her jokingly, "You ditched the evidence. You didn't sell your gun, you probably threw it in the river so no one could pin things on you. That is what happened. Come On, just admit you are the culprit in all the road rage shootings we are experiencing here in Las Vegas lately and I will leave you alone about it."

She sighs, laughs and says - "Look, I have not been to Las Vegas in a few months. If I need to get sworn affidavits from my alibis I will. No one is going to pin the recent spats on me." We chat a bit more and then she tells me it is time for her to go. Before I hang up, I ask one last time - "Okay, this is your last chance to come clean. Just tell me the truth...hello, hello," - she had already hung up.

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