There's an episode of Seinfeld (if I am recalling correctly) in which Jerry pays a maid to clean his apartment and they end up having sex after she is done. At the end of the episode he complains about how all he was getting was the sex from her and she was neglecting to clean the apartment. With that said, a friend of mine the other day told me about a similar experience.
"I have been getting a massage once a week from a masseuse for the last two months. At first it was awesome. She would give me a massage and then we would have sex after wards. Now we just have sex and she neglects to give me a massage. I really miss the massage part of it. Next time I meet up with her I am going to insist on a massage first."
I don't know about you. But I am under the impression most males would not complain about the sex part of a massage. My thoughts are the sex would be foremost and if there is time for a massage after wards, well, so be it. I told him such and he said - "But she really gives good massages."
Friday, August 26, 2016
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Conspiracy theory
"What are you doing? Are you cleaning your guns?" I called my friend Mad Max from Kansas the other day - "You are goddamn straight I am. I just added a new glock to the collection," he answers in a matter of fact tone. Mad Max is an anarchist and his fortune cookie told him the country is headed towards a dystopian state. That in a nutshell is how he got his nickname.
"I am telling you right now that Donald Trump and the Clinton's are in cahoots. It's a conspiracy. Bill and Hillary coaxed Trump into destroying the Republican party. That way they can guarantee that Hillary gets elected." I've spent a lifetime listening to him blather his disdain for government, and today was no different. "The people in this country are too naive to recognize these blowholes are throwing one past them. It's a conspiracy!" Mad Max is way, way out there. His views are not for the feint of heart.
"I have been thinking about this for a while," he says forcefully, "I know that I am right. If Trump is serious about beating Killary he would be running a tighter ship. Right now he's acting like he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. And Killary, all she has to do is read her speeches from the teleprompter and not piss off her core. It's a damn shame that we are going to have someone as corrupt as Killary president."
I can only take so much of his politics so I turned the conversation towards our mutual friend Legend. "I read in your blog that Legend is coming out to see you next month. Oh boy, you better watch out when that bastard comes to Las Vegas. He will get your stupid ass in trouble." I reiterate to him that I am in my forties and I'm not worried about Legend and his tomfoolery. "Let's see if he shows up first," I say with a hint of skepticism.
"Tell me about a girl in Las Vegas. You haven't written about any in a while. Those are always my favorites stories." I go on to tell him how I met a nice Thai girl at my cousin Joel's bar the other night. "It seemed as if there were some interest, but I can never tell nowadays. I can tell you something is definite. Joel has zero problems when it comes to the women factor. He had four girls at the bar pining for his attention while he was working. The Thai girl I am telling you about was all sweet on him and he instructed me to take her off his hands because he was suffering from overload. I did my best." He laughs at the remark and replies "It sounds like your cousin Joel is doing alright with the ladies." I chuckle back at him and answer, "You got that right!"
"I am telling you right now that Donald Trump and the Clinton's are in cahoots. It's a conspiracy. Bill and Hillary coaxed Trump into destroying the Republican party. That way they can guarantee that Hillary gets elected." I've spent a lifetime listening to him blather his disdain for government, and today was no different. "The people in this country are too naive to recognize these blowholes are throwing one past them. It's a conspiracy!" Mad Max is way, way out there. His views are not for the feint of heart.
"I have been thinking about this for a while," he says forcefully, "I know that I am right. If Trump is serious about beating Killary he would be running a tighter ship. Right now he's acting like he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. And Killary, all she has to do is read her speeches from the teleprompter and not piss off her core. It's a damn shame that we are going to have someone as corrupt as Killary president."
I can only take so much of his politics so I turned the conversation towards our mutual friend Legend. "I read in your blog that Legend is coming out to see you next month. Oh boy, you better watch out when that bastard comes to Las Vegas. He will get your stupid ass in trouble." I reiterate to him that I am in my forties and I'm not worried about Legend and his tomfoolery. "Let's see if he shows up first," I say with a hint of skepticism.
"Tell me about a girl in Las Vegas. You haven't written about any in a while. Those are always my favorites stories." I go on to tell him how I met a nice Thai girl at my cousin Joel's bar the other night. "It seemed as if there were some interest, but I can never tell nowadays. I can tell you something is definite. Joel has zero problems when it comes to the women factor. He had four girls at the bar pining for his attention while he was working. The Thai girl I am telling you about was all sweet on him and he instructed me to take her off his hands because he was suffering from overload. I did my best." He laughs at the remark and replies "It sounds like your cousin Joel is doing alright with the ladies." I chuckle back at him and answer, "You got that right!"
Monday, August 22, 2016
Legend is coming to town.
A guy I grew up with called me the other day and said he was planning on coming to Las Vegas next month to visit. Here is a snippet of our conversation:
"Goddammit boy! What about all those women in Las Vegas!" Women, touchdowns, behind the back passes & knock out punches...it doesn't matter because Roy 'the Legend' Cumpton is proficient in all of them. "Listen boy, I am coming out to Las Vegas next month and plan on putting the stabbing cabin to use with one of those pretty Las Vegas girls you always tell me about."
The topic turns to business and he says - "Damn son, it looks like you might be on to something with the online restaurants and your buddy Rado. I remember you showing me all those restaurants you had under contract in China town. I still can't figure out how some hillbilly from Kansas was able to pull off such a feat. You sure are a persistent bastard." I go on to tell him a little more about how things work and he says, "Save it! I will take a look at it when I come out there next month."
At the end of our conversation he says, "Do you understand boy? You need to make sure you have some women lined out when I get to town." I reassure him that it won't be a problem and then ask how he thinks the Chiefs will fare this year - "They will be lucky to go five hundred," he bellows before hanging up.
I can tell you this with all sincerity. I am looking forward to my buddy Legend coming out and visiting. I am going to make sure he has a good time.
"Goddammit boy! What about all those women in Las Vegas!" Women, touchdowns, behind the back passes & knock out punches...it doesn't matter because Roy 'the Legend' Cumpton is proficient in all of them. "Listen boy, I am coming out to Las Vegas next month and plan on putting the stabbing cabin to use with one of those pretty Las Vegas girls you always tell me about."
The topic turns to business and he says - "Damn son, it looks like you might be on to something with the online restaurants and your buddy Rado. I remember you showing me all those restaurants you had under contract in China town. I still can't figure out how some hillbilly from Kansas was able to pull off such a feat. You sure are a persistent bastard." I go on to tell him a little more about how things work and he says, "Save it! I will take a look at it when I come out there next month."
At the end of our conversation he says, "Do you understand boy? You need to make sure you have some women lined out when I get to town." I reassure him that it won't be a problem and then ask how he thinks the Chiefs will fare this year - "They will be lucky to go five hundred," he bellows before hanging up.
I can tell you this with all sincerity. I am looking forward to my buddy Legend coming out and visiting. I am going to make sure he has a good time.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
future millionaire?
I am beginning to think I may be friends with a future millionaire. I am not all the way sure (because I have been down the road before with him) but this time it seems different. It seems like he is ready to make it real:
"This place is nice. It looks like you are on your way." My friend Rado, who happens to be the founder of online restaurants, was giving me a grand tour of his new office - "Look what I am going to put over here," he tells me as he slaps the wall in the lobby, "This is where I am having the logo professionally painted on the wall. It will be the first thing people see when they walk in the door."
After the tour is complete he turns to me and says, "Rob, I want you to help me out. You are the best salesmen I have ever known and I am positive you can help me take this business to the next level." Rado owns & operates a website that delivers food to people and it is starting to look very impressive. He's going on his fifth year of incremental growth. He's been bootstrapping it the whole way and is now wanting more.
"I remember like yesterday when you signed up those ten restaurants in China town. No one can do that but you." Like I said earlier, this isn't my first go around with him. The thing is I know the potential his business has like no one else. "Last time I signed up those restaurants you didn't do anything with them. I never understood that?" He gives me a somber look after the query and says, "You were too much, too fast. I wasn't ready then. I was stupid. I am ready now. I am confident you can do it again."
It's been a while since I last posted. Honestly, I was waiting for a time when I could share something of value. Rado and I go back. I understand the potential of the business based on the data base it possesses. The only thing missing from his site is an adequate volume of quality restaurants (which I can provide). Besides, he knows and I know there is no one else who can get it done like me. Not even close!
"This place is nice. It looks like you are on your way." My friend Rado, who happens to be the founder of online restaurants, was giving me a grand tour of his new office - "Look what I am going to put over here," he tells me as he slaps the wall in the lobby, "This is where I am having the logo professionally painted on the wall. It will be the first thing people see when they walk in the door."
After the tour is complete he turns to me and says, "Rob, I want you to help me out. You are the best salesmen I have ever known and I am positive you can help me take this business to the next level." Rado owns & operates a website that delivers food to people and it is starting to look very impressive. He's going on his fifth year of incremental growth. He's been bootstrapping it the whole way and is now wanting more.
"I remember like yesterday when you signed up those ten restaurants in China town. No one can do that but you." Like I said earlier, this isn't my first go around with him. The thing is I know the potential his business has like no one else. "Last time I signed up those restaurants you didn't do anything with them. I never understood that?" He gives me a somber look after the query and says, "You were too much, too fast. I wasn't ready then. I was stupid. I am ready now. I am confident you can do it again."
It's been a while since I last posted. Honestly, I was waiting for a time when I could share something of value. Rado and I go back. I understand the potential of the business based on the data base it possesses. The only thing missing from his site is an adequate volume of quality restaurants (which I can provide). Besides, he knows and I know there is no one else who can get it done like me. Not even close!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)