Conspiracy theory

"What are you doing? Are you cleaning your guns?" I called my friend Mad Max from Kansas the other day - "You are goddamn straight I am. I just added a new glock to the collection," he answers in a matter of fact tone. Mad Max is an anarchist and his fortune cookie told him the country is headed towards a dystopian state. That in a nutshell is how he got his nickname.

"I am telling you right now that Donald Trump and the Clinton's are in cahoots. It's a conspiracy. Bill and Hillary coaxed Trump into destroying the Republican party. That way they can guarantee that Hillary gets elected." I've spent a lifetime listening to him blather his disdain for government, and today was no different. "The people in this country are too naive to recognize these blowholes are throwing one past them. It's a conspiracy!" Mad Max is way, way out there. His views are not for the feint of heart.

"I have been thinking about this for a while," he says forcefully, "I know that I am right. If Trump is serious about beating Killary he would be running a tighter ship. Right now he's acting like he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. And Killary, all she has to do is read her speeches from the teleprompter and not piss off her core. It's a damn shame that we are going to have someone as corrupt as Killary president."

I can only take so much of his politics so I turned the conversation towards our mutual friend Legend. "I read in your blog that Legend is coming out to see you next month. Oh boy, you better watch out when that bastard comes to Las Vegas. He will get your stupid ass in trouble." I reiterate to him that I am in my forties and I'm not worried about Legend and his tomfoolery. "Let's see if he shows up first," I say with a hint of skepticism.

"Tell me about a girl in Las Vegas. You haven't written about any in a while. Those are always my favorites stories." I go on to tell him how I met a nice Thai girl at my cousin Joel's bar the other night. "It seemed as if there were some interest, but I can never tell nowadays. I can tell you something is definite. Joel has zero problems when it comes to the women factor. He had four girls at the bar pining for his attention while he was working. The Thai girl I am telling you about was all sweet on him and he instructed me to take her off his hands because he was suffering from overload. I did my best." He laughs at the remark and replies "It sounds like your cousin Joel is doing alright with the ladies." I chuckle back at him and answer, "You got that right!"