Friday, August 24, 2012

The village idiot of Las Vegas and his almost Penthouse Forum moment..

"Jethro, can you come over? I don't feel like being alone right now." I couldn't believe what my friend Roxy was asking me. For those of you familiar with my blog? Roxy..aka..Foxy Roxy is my fantasy women, and it's not that I haven't tried to make her acquaintance on a number of occasions. She's a mile out of my price range, and has stated as much! So when she asked me to come over? Well, I knew something was a miss in the working girl hierarchy of Las Vegas.."Roxy, I think you might have me mixed up with someone else. I'm still broke as a joke! If your looking to get paid? You called the wrong motherfucker?" I realize that my rhetoric with Roxy might be construed as harsh. But Come On! If it has web feet, a beak, feathers, and quacks..It must be a duck? But still, Roxy is a very nice duck! So I asked her this.."Roxy, are you drunk? I told you I don't have any money..What' going on?" Their was a long silence over the phone and then Roxy told me this.."Jethro, you've got 20 minutes to get your hillbilly ass over to my apartment. If not? I'm going to call someone else. If I were you? I would hurry up. Am I making myself clear Jethro? The clock is ticking!" Roxy then hung the phone up. I'll admit it, I was confused, but a good soldier always does what he is told!

Roxy gave me 20 minutes to make it to her place. It only took ten. After knocking on her door, I wasn't sure what to expect next..And then I hear her yell. "Jethro, the door is open." I open the door and walk into her living room. "Roxy, where are you at?" Now, Roxy has shown her charitable side to me before, and I was hoping for a repeat performance.."Jethro, I'm upstairs..Hurry up!" The second I heard her say hurry-up? Usain Bolt couldn't have sprinted up the stairs faster. I enter her room, and I still don't see her.."Roxy, where are you at now?" The next thing you know, I hear a voice that wasn't Roxie's.."Jethro, come into the bathroom." When I heard that strange sexy voice? The first thought that went through my head? My Penthouse Forum moment had finally arrived:) I open up the bathroom door to find Roxy and another beauty sitting in the jet tub with a full bubble bath going. They were both holding a glass of wine..Roxy then tells me this.."Jethro, this is my friend Carmen from Los Angeles. She's in town for a few days, and she wanted me to invite one of my friends over for a good time. I just thought about you, and how hard you try, but always fail. So I figured you deserved another chance. Say hi to Carmen, Jethro."

Seeing Roxy naked is enough to give my ass a heart attack, so just imagine seeing a clone of Roxy sitting right next to her in a bubble bath..Like I said earlier, my Penthouse Forum story had finally arrived..At least I thought that.."Roxy tells me that your a Kansas boy with big dreams. She also tells me that you claim your going to be rich one of these days. Is that true? Or is it just some line of bullshit..Because what were thinking about doing to you..Well, it's not cheap, but Roxy says we should show some good faith and extend you the credit. So, when do you think you'll have the money?" I literally was staring at two naked women in a bubble bath. Both resembled Playboy centerfolds, and with a bit of good negotiating on my part? Jumping in the middle of them was not that far-fetched of an idea.."Answer my friends question Jethro. If we let you join us? When will you have our money?" Roxy and her friend are one in the same, and they were testing this Kansas boy.."Uhhh..uhhh..uhhh." My heart was racing a mile a minute, and trust me! That wasn't the only thing that was racing.."Now listen ladies, I'll have your going rate one of these days..I've been talking with a few people about getting something started..Something big! I just need some more time! You ladies wouldn't have invited me over if you didn't think I was legitimate." I can't even begin to tell you how ready I was to strip off all my clothes and jump in the middle of them..But, I had to wait for them to give me the word..

"What do you think Carmen? Should we extend him the credit?" I could tell that Roxy was in, but she needed her friends approval.."I don't know Roxy, what if this guy never gets rich? You've already given him a freebie, so he knows what to expect." Carmen then looked at me and asked me this.."Did you like being with Roxy?" I didn't know what to say or do, so I just shook my head yes.."Would you like to be with both of us at the same time?" Again I shook my head yes. This time emphatically.."Jethro, I want you to take a good long look at Roxy and I..The two of us sitting in a bubble bath naked..Waiting for you! Keep that image in your head..Because, when you become rich? Both of us promise! You can jump right in the middle of us anytime you want! Until then, your going to have to fuck yourself..Now, get the hell out of here!" It's a business with Roxy and her friends, and she just wanted to reiterate that to me..She didn't have to take it this far to drive home her point, but, that's what new age business people do! They take things far past the norm!

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."No money? No honey? I know that's an over used cliche in Las Vegas, but, it's true..My friend from Kansas told me that I needed to lower my standards..Nay.. I'm not sure if I should call it confidence? Arrogance? Delusional? Whatever, you want to call it. I know that I'm going to be rich one of these days, and when that happens? The Roxy and Carmen types will be plentiful."

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