"Hey Joy, have you ever watched Happy Day's?" Joy is the name of my favorite bartender in town. She works at a restaurant around the corner from where I live. The reason I ask if she ever watched Happy Days? Well, I had the one and only Jayball sitting next to me. And the only guy that comes to mind when I'm hanging with a Vegas legend like him? Arthur Fonzarelli, better known as the Fonz! "Joy," I say with four shots of tequila in me, "You see this guy sitting next to me? If Las Vegas had a Fonz! It would be him!" She looks and says, "What makes you say that?"
"I will tell you why Joy," I then go on to add, "This guy sitting next to me is the legendary Jayball of Las Vegas. He's a living legend in this town. He has lived a life most guys will only fantasize about - fast cars, fine dining, horse racing, women...You name it! If it has anything to do with the good life in Las Vegas, he has lived it!" Joy is one of the prettiest little things I have ever seen. I have asked her out a number of times. Unfortunately, it is always the same answer. This time things would be different. I had the legendary Jayball in my corner. Women never say no to him. I was banking that his aura would rub off on me in my pursuit of Joy. As usual - I was wrong.
"Come to think about it, I've heard about Jayball. I thought you were a myth, but damn it's true. This is such an honor to be talking to a living Vegas legend. Do you think I could get a picture for the wall?" So much for Joy not knowing Jayball. And so much for my chances on asking her out again. Whenever the two of us chase women, he ends up with all the cake while I get nothing - not even crumbs! The plan, this time, was for him to watch my back and help me move in on Joy. It was headed down the toilet fast! "OK, let's take the picture, but I have to be captured on my left side. That's my good side. Give the camera to Rob." To hell with me, Jayball moves in again for the kill. I am used to it by now. To this day, I have never seen a women who could resist his charms. Anyways, I grab the camera and take a couple pictures of them together. After I was through I notice her slip him a folded napkin.
"Don't tell me she gave you her number. I have asked her out at least ten times and she won't even respond anymore. How do you do it?" Jayball was supposed to be helping me out in my pursuit, but, as usual, things went awry, "Come On Man! Whenever we go out you always hog all the girls. You need to share the action with your buddy from Kansas!" He answers my rant in a way that only a real Fonz type could, "I tell you what you need to do. Get a decent haircut! Spit the Skoal out of your mouth! Buy some decent clothes! And last but not least, get you one of these!" He then proceeds to pull a wad of bills out of his pocket that was at least five inches thick. He then yells, "Let's get out of this place before Joy and I decide to elope!"
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