Sunday, April 15, 2018

Calling bullsh%$ + the longshots + a Donald Trump joke...

Recently an acquaintance made a claim I found impressive...too impressive. I requested proof of the claim. Which should have been a cinch (if true). Let's just say the run around has begun - What's the point? - Remain optimistic at all times. But don't be afraid to call bull shit when you suspect a person is being less than forthcoming with you:

The other day I was walking down the sidewalk minding my own business when out of no where I hear - "Hitler!" - It was my homeless friend from the neighborhood - I immediately yell - "Trump!" We share the usual chuckle over the gesture & then he adds - "Have you been paying attention to the Golden Knights," he's referencing the NHL team in town. "This is their inaugural season and they are one of the favorites to win the Stanley Cup. Who would have ever thought that would be possible?" 

I've been to one hockey game in my life. It wasn't my thing. Your love of certain sports is ingrained into you when you are young. Hockey was not around me growing up. That's why I don't care for it much. I don't really understand it either & I am too old nowadays to try - "They were 500-1 in most places around town when the season started. Now they are one of the favorites to win it all. What do you think of my new hat?" He points directly at the Golden Knights insignia on his hat - "Yeah, it was cool man. I was just standing on the corner doing my thing & out of no where I hear a guy yell 'Dude!' - The next thing I know he is flinging the hat at me as he drives by. It's a perfect fit," he adds as he takes it off, looks at it, smiles & then returns it to his noggin - "Man this a good looking hat."

It was nice having a reprieve from the usual politics spewing from his yapper. The reprieve didn't last long - "Not Trump, but your second idol, you know, Steve Wynn. Do you want to know what I would do if I was him?" Steve Wynn is not my idol. I tell him such and he says - "I know he's not your idol. The baboon is your idol. Steve Wynn is your second idol. There is a difference." - He goes on to tell me about how nasty Wynn's divorce from his first wife is & how he should buy her a box of chocolates and apologize for his boorish behavior - "I think the acrimony between the two has sailed way past that," I add with a laugh.

Our time comes to a close, he adds one last jab - "Village Idiot I have a joke for you before you leave." -- "Let's hear it," I add with a smile - "What do Donald Trump & a box of dog shit have in common?" -- "I don't know," I say with a laugh, "They both stink," is his punchline. He needs some new material - I advise him of such & carry on.

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