the greatest thing since Patrick Mahomes...

It has been a while since I heard from Roxy. I started thinking about her & decided to call:

"I was wondering when you were going to call again. It's been a long time Jethro. It's good to hear your voice," it's her voice, it's her silky, sexy, sultry voice.

"Uhh, uhh, uhh...I love you beautiful," I didn't know what else to say so I say the first thing that comes to mind, "I have been thinking about you more and more gorgeous. Please tell me that you will be my girl."

"Oh Jethro," she sighs, "What is it with you? I'm not going to be your girl. Why do you keep asking the same absurd question?"

"Because I love you sweet thing," is my immediate answer.

"Jethro, Jethro, Jethro," whenever she mentions my name in unison I prepare to be patronized, "What we had in Las Vegas is over now. You know it wasn't built to last," her tone becoming ever more condescending, "You think you can call me up after all this while and ask me to be your 'girl' is so preposterous of you. It's just how I remember. You haven't changed one bit."

I didn't ask her to go on a killing spree with me, I just want her to be my girl...I ask again.

"No, I'm not going to be your fucking girl. Jesus, I knew I shouldn't have answered the phone when I saw it was you."

"Why did you beautiful?"

"It's because I needed a shot of your sappiness I guess. I really don't know for sure."

"Sweet thing," adding with as much sappiness as I can muster, "Let's give it another shot wonderful. You're the greatest thing since Patrick Mahomes. I love you."

"I don't think so," is her immediate response, "You had your chance and blew it. Nowadays, I am with a wonderful guy who takes care of my every need. What you and I had is history. Do you understand that genius?"

She needs more persuading is my thought.

"I can't help it. I think you are the cats' meow beautiful. If there was ever a Ms. Beautiful title you would win it in a landslide. Let's just forget about all the stuff from the past and give it another go around, start afresh. What do you say Ms. Beautiful?"

"Are you hard of hearing Jethro?"

"No," anticipating an insult.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," further anticipating an insult.

"Why is it so hard for you to understand Jethro? It's irritating. For the last time. I am not your girl. We had a thing for a while. That's all it was, a thing Jethro. I know you are a fragile so I am going to be polite. Please do not ask me to be your girl anymore. The very idea is nonsensical."

"Okay, I'm going to give you one more chance to be my girl beautiful."

"Grow up Jethro," she then hangs the phone up without saying goodbye.