move into mama's...

The other day I got a call from my friend Chuck in Kansas. He recently moved in with his mother:

"Back with mama. She's the only one who would take me," it's fortunate his mother is still around to take him in, if not it would be outside time. I tell him such.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are the twentieth person to tell me it. I look at it this way, 'Mama enjoys the company & I need a place to live. It's a win win."

"What happened with the 4th?"

"She was the 5th actually."

"Sorry," with a laugh, "What happened between you and the 5th?"

Chuck would be much better served by keeping it in his pants.

"My little head started thinking for my big head again. She wasn't giving it up so I got on Ashley Madison. You can't believe the women out there who are looking for a good time. It's unbelievable."

Think about this for a minute. He's pushing fifty; his fifth wife just kicked him out; he lost his job; he moved back in with his mother & yet his libido, which is his biggest downfall, is telling him to cruise for chic's on hookup sites.

"Don't you think it would be a good idea to set a list of priorities?"

"What do you mean?"

"Finding a job, moving out from your mothers. Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about."

"First of all," he beckons, "Mama loves having me here. It gives her someone to watch all the Royal's games with. The other thing is there are not many jobs to pick from at this particular time."

"What's the plan? Are you just going to spend all your time cruising for chic's on the internet and living with your mother?"

"Yep," is his answer.

"Are you going to tell all these women you live with your mother?"

"Nope," adding, "The last few I hooked up with paid for the hotel room. One of them even gave me two hundred dollars."

"Get the fuck out of here," he's not much to look at. I find it unlikely a women would pay him to have sex. I tell him such.

"I'm being honest, I swear. After we were through she told me her husband hadn't fucked her in god knows how long. The money was a token of her appreciation."

We chat about the weather for a minute, then I hear someone yelling his name in the background. It was his eighty year old mother letting him know dinner was ready.

"I got to go buddy. Mom made chicken fried steak for dinner."