The village idiot of Las Vegas gets some Christmas cheer from his friend Mad Max.

Today's version of the phrase Mad Max is best used as a connotation to describe chaos, disorder and anarchy -- Example: "A guy, who lives just down the street from me, got mad at his dealer for shorting him. He was so pissed that he pulled the dealer from his car and beat him an inch from his life."

Last night I called my friend Mad Max. He is an anarchist in every sense of the word. The following is a brief excerpt of our conversation:

"Shut your pie hole!" I yell rudely, "Every time we talk it is the same bullshit with you. The country isn't going to collapse! It's called change you fucking moron!" I was anticipating a little holiday cheer when I called. What was I thinking? -- "Listen moron," he yells emphatically, "You are going to be the first person to capitulate when the bastards we have running the show declare martial law. Goddammit boy! When are you going to fucking wake up?"

He's been anti establishment since the day he could walk -- "Listen asshole," I say forcefully, "You are one of those guys who gets up in the morning and takes marching orders from Fox News -- I agree with you that things are fucked up in the world, but come on...do you really think an outright collapse is coming?

He begins rattling off everything he can think of (immigration reform, Obama care, federal debt). You name it, he spurted it. "So what!" I say forcefully after his tirade, "What the fuck are you going to do about it?" -- I am pretty far out there, but Mad Max...he's fifty-fold farther. That's disturbing!

"Be a sheep! It's totally up to you," the fifth of Jack Daniel's he swallowed before my calling was beginning to hit overdrive, he then adds - "I will be ready for the collapse. My sources tell me it is imminent in 2015. That's when the new Congress takes office. All I can tell you son. It's coming!"

I can only take so much of his rhetoric, so I tell him I must be on my way and wish him Happy Holidays. His parting words - "You think I am fucking kidding about the state of our country. You think I am crazy. I want to tell you this before I go. When the shit house catches fire, and you have to run for cover. You are welcome to take cover with me. Don't be one of the sheep!"

A disturbing phone call.

"Hey Babe. How are you?" I thought it awkward Roxy would be calling. The other night she emphatically stated we were finished. Could it be she had a change of heart? I was praying for just that when I saw her number on Caller ID today --"Who is this?" - the voice on the other end of the line didn't sound like Roxy.

I check my Caller ID again to make sure I hadn't misread...sure enough it read Roxy. "Who is this?" I ask politely. "This is Chad," a husky voice says, "Why is your number on my girls phone? And why the hell did you say Babe when you answered?" 

Roxy's new boyfriend is named Chad. It didn't take long to put two and two together. He was suspicious, and checking her phone - "I am a friend of Roxy's," I say cautiously, "I call everyone Babe. It's no big deal." There was an awkward silence, and he says - "You fucked her. Didn't you?" I tell him I have no idea what he is talking about and how I must be on my way. Before I can hang up, he yells forcefully -- "She cried all last night! And won't tell me what is wrong," he then yells forcefully again, "You fucked her, didn't you? Man, if I ever see your ass, I am going to pound it!"

I tell him again I have no idea what he is talking about -- "Shut-up!" he yells forcefully yet again, "You had better pray I never see your ass. You hurt her! And that is unacceptable!" I tell him once again I have no idea what he is talking about. I then hang up.

This isn't the first time I've had a telephone conversation with one of Roxy's boyfriends (not at my behest). This poor bloke has no idea what he has gotten himself into. She has him twisted like a pretzel. I understand why he is upset. Men are willing to lay everything on the line for a breed of women like her...she is absolutely alluring!

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets some sad reality from Roxy.

"Jethro - I knew I shouldn't have slept with you again. Jesus, how is a guy who lives in some shit hole in North Las Vegas going to take care of a girl like me? Look, you know that I care for you. But we are never going to be together in the way you want. It is not going to happen!" I called Roxy last night - just to remind her how much I love her. Unfortunately for me, the old Roxy was back - "Furthermore, you know what kind of girl I am. God, as much as I can't stand being called a whore. That's what I am. It is my job to make guys fall in love with me.You need to let go. I have."

I know what kind of girl she is, believe me, I am not that naive. It's just that people change. I know I have. Why can't she? - "Roxy, I know I am a loser, but I am an adorable loser - you even said so. But you also said I had potential. Maybe if we were together you could bring it out," I want to be with her so bad that I will say anything to appease her.

I hear a deep sigh after my remark - and she says, "We make each other feel good when we're together. That's it! That's what I am good at! But to think we could be together all the time is ridiculous," she lets out another deep sigh, and adds, "Jethro, this time I mean it for real. I really do! I am never sleeping with you again. It is too intense. It's not good for either one of us!"

The village idiot of Las Vegas goes to Roxy's hotel room.

I have rolled it over and over in my head a thousand times. She has a hold on me that can't be broken. She's a drug...a very addictive drug.

"Where's Chad?" The text I received Thursday night said she would be in town Friday and wanted to meet around seven. It failed to mention anything about her new beau. "He got caught up at work and won't fly in until tomorrow morning," she tells me with a devilish grin as she guides me by the hand into the room.

Roxy is of the breed of women who instantly brings calm to a man. It's a trait she developed in the many years of her chosen profession. "Jethro," she says in her sultry voice, "Why don't you sit down and let me pour you a drink. Oh, by the way, thanks for scoring me the room. I appreciate it."

She pours the drink, sits next to me on the bed and says - "You look good. It looks like you have lost some weight," I smile and tell her I have been working out and eating healthier - she adds, "I can tell. You are starting to resemble the guy I fell for. Keep it up."

I tried keeping my emotions in check, but the moment proved too much - "Roxy, you are the most beautiful women I have ever seen. You already know how much I love you. I want to be with you more than anything," the conviction in my voice brought a blush to her tan cheeks and a pearly white smile to her face.

"Jethro," she says with a sigh, "Why do you have to say things like that to me? Don't you know what kind of girl I am?" - she gets up from the bed, faces me and adds, "Why do you have to be so fucking adorable?" She then unstraps the tangerine sundress she's wearing and wiggles it all the way to her feet.

Introspect was the last thing on my mind at this point - "Babe," I say as I grab her by the waist and toss her on the bed, "Let's save the psychobabble bullshit for another time."

"You want to see my piercing again," she giggles as I lift her hips from the bed and gently unravel her panties to her ankles...she kicks them off from there. I immediately began kissing her tan, tone stomach. Moments later my face is buried in her lady spot.

"Goddammit Jethro," she moans in ecstasy, "Why do you do this to me? God, this feels so fucking good," a few minutes pass and she purrs, "Are you going to fuck me again?" -- she has a sexy habit of asking the most obvious questions when we are together. It's an absolute turn on! This time I thought it would be funny to use a bit of reverse psychology - "No," I tell her as I crawl off the bed and began peeling my clothes off, "Not going to happen," she smiles after the crack and says, "I seriously doubt that."

I leap back onto the bed, position myself between her legs, grab her by the waist and gently ease her to me. "Goddammit Jethro," she moans in ecstasy yet again, "Tell me one thing before you get started. Are you going to put us being together in your blog again?" I say yes - she says, "Good, your blog sucks nowadays. Now you can give your friends something interesting to read about."

I stayed with her until the wee hours of the morning. We made love a number of times, showered together, ordered room service and talked about all the different things happening in our lives. It was phenomenal!

We are standing at the door, in each other's arms, as I am preparing to leave. I tell her once more how much I love her and how I would give anything to be with her. "Jethro," she cries, "Don't fucking say that! Don't ruin what we have!" - she nudges away from me, wipes tears from her eyes, opens the door and shows me out. "I will talk with you soon," were her parting words as the door closes in my face.

The village idiot of Las Vegas agrees to get Roxy and her new boyfriend a room again.

"Look, Jethro," she says with her sultry voice over the telephone, "I will never ask you to score me a room again. It's just that Chad got a ticket for the fights Saturday night and he wants me to come to Las Vegas with him. I told him you would get us a room. So do what you do Jethro! And find us a room for the weekend!" - It's got to be her audacity that turns me on the most -- No, I know it is!

"Roxy, I told you last time I was never going to get a room for you and one of your boyfriends again. I made it perfectly clear...OK! Find your own room," it's awkward having the women you love ask to line out a hotel room for her and her boyfriend. Being the fool I am --I did it once, but not again...no more laughing stock of the neighborhood...no more!

"Look, Jethro," she says in her sultry voice again, "Why do you have to be so difficult? All I want you to do is call and get me a room. I have to tell you something, and maybe this might change your attitude. I miss you a little - Chad is great, but he is young. All he thinks about is sports and work. He doesn't have the experience you do. So maybe when Chad is at the fights, you could come over and we could...well, you know. But that won't happen if you don't get me a room!"

Sleeping with Roxy is bliss, pure bliss! So when the opportunity comes my way...I take advantage of it - "Look, I will get you a room for the weekend. When do you think we can hook up?" I ask excitedly. "Chad," she says coyly, "Is going to be at the fights Saturday night, and then he will probably go to a strip joint with his buddies. You can come over when he is gone. I promise you can play with my piercing again."

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets a room for Roxy and her new boyfriend.

"I told you I was coming to town this weekend, and you said, 'I will get you a room Roxy.' Those were your exact fucking words. Now I am going to be in town this weekend with Chad. And I am expecting the room you promised me!" Last time we talked I told her I would do what I could to find her a room. I promised her nothing and reminded her of such. "Jethro," she says firmly, "You are starting to piss me off. I have already told Chad I had a room hooked up for us. You need to get on the phone and call whoever it is, and get me a room!"

Let me back up a little and explain the situation better - Roxy has a new boyfriend and she wants me to get a room for the two of them. That's right! The women I love is requesting I get a room for her and her new beau. It's not right in so many aspects - "Look," I tell her, "I find it awkward you are asking me to do this.Why don't you find your own room?" -- she doesn't want to pay for it is the answer to that query,

"Jethro, you are starting to piss me off," she states firmly again, "I have done plenty for you, at no charge, keep in mind. You owe me! If I tell Chad I don't have a room for us. He is going to think I am a clown. You don't want to see that happen. Do you Jethro?" West coast girls have no shame! They are all the same. Anyways, I love her. So I agreed, like a fool, to call my Chinese friends and get a room for her (and her new boyfriend). Jesus, I am the biggest idiot in town.

The village idiot of Las Vegas sets at the negotiating table...

The online food ordering/delivery business is skyrocketing: In its simplest form it is a rather easy concept. A restaurant is placed on a well run website. The food is sold electronically and in turn the website is entitled a percentage of after tax sale. (20-25%) is the industry norm. My research shows today's technology and the application of it will increase exponentially and thus increase the probabilities of revenue as pertains to this field.

The other day my partner (Kam) and I met with a gentlemen, who runs a delivery/food ordering site, at a restaurant in Las Vegas. We gave him a pitch on how beneficial our talents would be for his site. After the glad handling was over - it was time for brass tacks - "Look, we have twenty restaurants we can deliver on a silver platter to you. They are well established in the area and currently not with any competing sites. Furthermore, we've spent an untold effort convincing them electronic coverage is the wave of the future, and they only go if we say so." I then look the gentlemen directly in the eyes and say - "What is in it for us if we deliver on our promise? What kind of revenue sharing agreement would we be looking at?"

After my question, he shuffles in his chair a bit and says - "We typically don't work with aggregator's, but I see what your talking about. I would be willing to give you a one time fee for each restaurant you bring to me. The fee would be one hundred and fifty dollars per restaurant." The key to success in a system like this is negotiating a percentage of sales for each restaurant you control - Example...a successful restaurant will do anywhere from ten to twenty orders a day on a well run site. If the average order is $30 (industry norm). You would be looking at ten to fifteen thousand a month - take 20-25% out of total revenue and you come up with $2000-$3000 as a figure to divvy. Keep in mind the numbers I am quoting is merely one good restauant. Imagine having twenty.

After his response to my query, you could hear a pin drop...literally. Before I could respond, Kam chimes in - "Let me make sure I heard you right. Did you say one hundred and fifty was all we would be entitled to if we hand deliver some gold to you?" he nods his head yes, "Do you think I would take a hundred and fifty dollars and in turn be inclined to hand you over all of these restaurants that we have spent years cultivating relationships with? You will make twenty times that amount in an average month!"

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment and he says - "I have overhead. I have to pay for the insurance, I am going to provide the system and the driver. I think it is fair," his response was weak, and I told him such - "Look, I understand you have things to deal with. I get it. But the potential for what we are presenting is vast. Your overhead will be a mute point once things start rolling," I then ask him bluntly, "You're interested in putting these restaurants on your site - Right?" He nods his head in agreement, "In that case, we are going to take a slice of the revenue," I then add, in a matter of fact tone, "The hundred fifty bucks your quoting isn't even in the same stratosphere as to what we will do!"

He starts in on the overhead spill again and how he might be able to make it two hundred dollars per restaurant. I couldn't take anymore babble - so I say, "Look man, I know you are new to Las Vegas. And if you want to be the lone wolf...by all means go right ahead. But I can tell you this. No one is going to work with you at the number you are quoting!" He then tells me that is what he pays in Milwaukee. I remind him once again Las Vegas is not Milwaukee. He becomes annoyed by the statement, pushes his chair out from the table and prepares to leave, I say this as he is parting, "Hey man, if I am going to get fucked. It has to be by a blond with blue eyes and a wavy figure. Even a brunette or red head would do the trick. The last person I am going to get fucked by is some guy who just blew into town that I don't even know!"