The village idiot of Las Vegas..Hard luck and busted Part 4...

I received an e-mail from a reader of my blog the other day, he said - "Your current posts are better than any of your previous ones. The reason is your life looks like a train wreck, and that's what people want to see. Anyways, you make looking like a failure funny." As sad as it is, I try to keep the humor about my situation. I sincerely believe my luck will change. If it doesn't...fuck, that's life.

I met this girl named Roxy a while back. It had been a while since we last chatted so I gave her a call the other day - "Hi Roxy, what's going on? It's your friend Rob." There was a brief silence over the phone and then she says, 'What the fuck do you want?" Roxy is a working girl, a damn good one, and is not into mincing words. "I just wanted to see how things were going, I'm lonely and I was wondering if I could come over?" I don't have a dime to my name, but Roxy has shown her charitable side to me before, so I was hoping she might do it again. As usual, I was wrong - "Look asshole! My services cost money! You already owe me for the last time! Do you have some money? And don't give me this bullshit about how you are going to be rich one of these days and you'll pay me then. I've already fallen for that line once. You want to come over? You better have a pocket full of money!"

I'd used up most of my lines with her, but I still had to try one more -"Roxy, people don't understand how important your services are to society. It's girls like you that keep guys like me from going crazy. Now, I don't have your going rate per se, but if you could find it in your heart to extend me a little credit...I promise! We can settle up when I get the money." It was my last gasp, and unfortunately it didn't work, "Look, I can see that you want to fuck me," she says in a voice that will drive any man insane, "I get it! If you want to come over? I'll take care of all your needs! But you had better have my going rate! Or you can stay home and fuck yourself! Do I need to make that any more clear for you?" I've always admired how the working girls in Las Vegas got right to the point. After all, it's a business to them. I told Roxy I would come see her again when things picked up, and one of these days I would make an honest women out of her. I'm kidding about the honest women part.

I am going to end this post with a thought I am having...call it the village idiot thought of the day - "How do I say this? A girl like Roxy is not a girl you would bring home to meet your mother, that is, unless your mother is a porn star."

The village idiot of Las Vegas..Hard luck and busted Part 3..

I've got the perfect idea for a reality show, and I know exactly what the title of it will be.. 'Hard Luck and Busted'..The show would revolve around all the hard luck stories in Las Vegas, but it wouldn't be sad. I'd strive to bring out the humor in everyones situation..There's a sitcom called 'Two Broke Girls'..I'm thinking like that, but in a reality setting. I'd be in charge of recruiting and story line..I promise you won't find a better guy in SW Las Vegas..

I've decided to keep things real in the blog, no more fluff..Not now anyways, the truth of the matter? I'm about ready to find myself living in my car..And you know what is crazy about it? I don't give a shit, I'm to focussed on the big picture to really care..I look at it as a future rich man paying his dues. Before people start thinking I'm crazy, this life ain't for 99% of the population. Most people have responsibilities, not me..I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and right now. The one thing I have an abundance of in life? Time.

I was reading an article about Tyler Perry..It talked about how he lived in his car when he first got started, and look at him now..A lot of people think that kind of dedication and belief is crazy..It is in a way, but if you want it bad enough? You don't care!

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I don't care how bleak the situation looks! If I can convince a few people to help me? If that ever happened? I'm convinced! There's a lot of money at the end of one of my ideas."

The village idiot of Las Vegas..Hard luck and busted Part 2..

I got a message on Face Book today, it was from an old friend of mine in Kansas. He's a fan of the blog, and he wanted to know why I was so down on my luck..The truth of the matter? My life has been a bowl of cherries compared to his. Growing up, know one, and I mean know one, thought this kid would live to see 21. He'd been diagnosed with cancer multiple times, multiple bone marrow transplants, encephalitis, car wrecks, carnage, this was all before he turned 21. If it had anything to do with hard luck? He experienced it in his younger years. Turns out, his 40th birthday is right around the corner..Now, I have to admit some thing to him, and I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way. It had been 15-20 years since I had talked with him, that's before I ran into him on Face Book..When I first saw him on Face Book, I had to do a double take..I was shocked that he was still alive, and I don't mean to sound like a morbid prick when I say that, but it's the truth.. Nowadays, we've reconnected and I'm convinced that he is going to out live us all. I guess will see..

Hard luck and busted stories are a dime a dozen in Las Vegas..The town was literally rocked to the core by the recession. Anything that could go wrong? It did for a lot of people who call Las Vegas home. You could put a list together longer than a donkeys tail about what needs to be done to correct things in Las Vegas..What would be at the top of my list? Two things actually, job creation and entrepreneurship.. Here's an interesting tidbit about me (I'm a registered Libertarian)..The Libertarian point of view is a generation or two from becoming mainstream. Anyways, I'm going to save the political talk for a different day.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I wonder if people would find this concept interesting? A grown up Oliver Twist like character meets a modern day Las Vegas..The goal of any blogger is to see if he can't bring his writing to life..I'm convinced I can, just need to find the right person to play along with..One last thing. Happy Birthday to my friend Scott Edwards..I can see 40 more coming your way."

Hard luck and busted..The Village idiot of Las Vegas..

"Heh, look over there! It's the village idiot of Las Vegas." At the time, I was standing on the corner of Charleston and Durango. I was holding a sign that said.."Hard luck and busted." I also had the link to my blog displayed on the sign..I figured if I was going to panhandle, I might as well advertise my blog..Turns out, I got a lot to learn about the art of panhandling.

"This is my fucking corner, get lost asshole!" I ain't the only guy in Vegas panhandling, and it turns out I was trespassing on some prime territory.."Heh dude, I was here first." The corner I was standing on? Perfect place, stop lights, high traffic count, nice part of town..Basically, it's what every panhandler in town is looking for.."I tell you what dude, I will go find another corner to stand on." This was my first go around panhandling, and I wasn't looking for any trouble..So, I move down a block to Charleston and Buffalo..The first thing I noticed when I pulled into the corner gas station, some one had already beaten me to the punch, so I moved again..This time I was at the corner of Russell and Durango..That ended up being my spot..

The trick to panhandling? Do it fast..When a group of cars stop at the red light. Walk the middle lane with your sign..I was wearing sunglasses and a hat..I'm not particularly proud of turning to panhandling, but, I'm in between jobs, and a guy still has to eat..Besides, and this may sound weird, I kind of always wanted to try it, just to see what the reaction was..With that said, I don't make for a very good panhandler..A guy  gave me 50 cents and told me that I needed a better sign... I picked 'hard luck and busted' for my sign, because it sums up my life at this point..Turns out, panhandling isn't what it's all cracked up to be. I stood out in the scorching Las Vegas sun four hours, and only made $17.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."When I was a kid growing up in Kansas, I never thought I would be standing on a corner in Las Vegas panhandling. I've lived in Las Vegas for over 6 years, and I love this town more than anything..Hopefully, my panhandling career is short lived...I guess? At this point, it is what it is."

The village idiot of Las Vegas looks into his crystal ball..

Don't let the title of this post fool you! As much as I wish I had a crystal ball? I don't..If I did? I'd be a billionaire! With that said, I'm going to tell you about my friend Trey..Mr. T (that's what I like to call him) is a California gang banger that was sent to Las Vegas two years ago by his clique. I'm guessing Trey is 22, 23 at tops..I met Trey when I was working at 7-11. Actually, he was the guy who nicknamed me Mr. 7-11. My friend Trey has two redeeming qualities (narcotics trafficking, pandering)..With that said, let me tell you what my crystal ball says about his future.

'The village idiot of Las Vegas waves at the ghetto bird' was a previous post for my blog. In that post, I told everyone about a shoot out in the 7-11 parking lot..Well, it turns out my friend Trey was right in the middle of it. Now, the story I heard, was that a couple of Mexicans were trying to move in on Trey's territory..Let's put it this way, he wasn't liking that idea one iota..Anyways, he ended up crossing paths with one of them in the 7-11 parking lot. He figured he would rough the guy up some, let him know that this was his neck of the woods and competition wasn't welcome..So, he proceeds to beat the hell out of this guy..After the message was delivered, the Mexican go's to his car and grabs his gun. He then proceeds to fire a couple rounds at Trey. Well, Trey is never one to miss out on the action, so he fires a few shots back at the guy. Fortunately, neither one was hit. Since I've known Trey (two years)..If memory serves me right? That's the third person who has taken a shot at him.

Today, I was walking out of 7-11 and he was walking in.."Mr. 7-11, where the fuck have you been? I haven't seen you in a while." Trey is a helluva of a good looking kid, he kind of looks like Usher. He's always very respectful to me..I don't let that fool me. The truth of the matter? He's a complete sociopath. We exchanged pleasantries, and then I told him I had to go..To be honest with you, Trey is not a guy you want to stand very close to..I'm almost a 100% certain he's going to find his demise in a hail of gunfire, and I'm not to keen on catching a stray bullet..

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."Las Vegas is a gambling town! People are inclined to bet on anything..With that said, I'm going to set the odds at -320 that Trey doesn't live another year..For the sake of all things holy, I hope that I'm wrong."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about his buddy and four women in bed..

I realize the title of this blog post is a bit confusing..It even confuses me a little bit. I tell you what, I'm going to do my best to describe it..Trust me, it's a very bizarre story.

Living in Las Vegas, you see a little bit of everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything! I've got a friend in town by the name of Prego. Now, Prego is a very interesting fella. He was born in Italy, and his family migrated to Boston in the 1970's. He moved out to Las Vegas 15 years ago, and has called it home since. I met Prego a while back at a restaurant I used to work at..What's the best way to describe him? Philanderer is the best word that comes to mind. Anyways, I hadn't talked with him in a while, so I called him the other day.

"Prego, it's Jethro! What the fuck is going on?" Jethro is his nickname for me. He says that I remind him of Jethro Bodine (Beverly Hillbillies). "It's good to hear your voice my friend, I'm in a tough spot right now." When he told me that he was in a tough spot, I knew right away he was having some sort of women problem. He once told me that if god had never created a women..He would be the richest guy in Las Vegas.."What did you do now?" I've heard a number of his hard luck stories when it comes to women..This one? It was bizarre, even by Prego's standards.

"Jethro, I caught my wife in bed with a couple of women." I wanted to make sure that I was hearing him right, so I asked him.."If I heard you right? You said you caught your wife in bed with a couple of women? When you say a couple? How many are you talking about, Exactly?" Prego and his fourth wife are both pigs. Both of them have the morals of an alley cat, so the fact he caught his wife cheating on him? Well, it doesn't really come as a surprise to me. But, I figured she would probably just run off with the mailman or something like that. "It was her and three other girls, all in the same bed." Prego responded..I then asked him what his response was when he first discovered his wife was in bed with three other women? "Jethro, I was dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say. To be honest with you, I didn't have much time to talk. One of the girls who was in bed with my wife, asked my wife if that was him? She then nodded. Well, this crazy bitch grabs a gun off of the nightstand and points it at me. She then tells me that my wife is leaving me, and to pack my shit and get the hell out. For a minute, I thought I was being Punk'd..That's until she pulled the hammer back on the gun. Then I realized it wasn't a joke. So I packed up my shit and moved in with my brother."

Prego's recovery time from broken relationships has always been fast. Turns out, he already has a new girlfriend..That new girlfriend happens to be his second wife (We'll see how long that last)..Anyways, he asks me if I want to get a drink some time? Prego is a fun guy to hang out with! But, this wasn't the first time a girl has pulled a gun on him, and I imagine it won't be the last. I kept having this thought go through my head when he invited me to get a drink: One of his damsels in distress would probably show up at the bar, wanting to settle the score with him. Of course he would duck when the gunfire started, and yours truly would be right in the line of fire. Besides, it's always the innocent, dumb shit, bystander from Kansas who gets shot in situations like that. So I politely declined his request.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."Some of these fucking guys in Vegas are insane! One of these days I'm going to see an article in the paper that says 'Jilted lover shoots boyfriend in SW valley'. I won't even have to read the article. I'll know exactly who they are talking about by just reading the headline."

The village idiot of Las Vegas meets a bum on the street..

Vagabond is the German word for bum or vagrant. The first dog I had when I was a kid was named Vagabond, or Vaugie for short.. I remember the first time I saw him. My dad found him going through are trash looking for something to eat. Well, since he was a daschund (German), and know one else wanted him, we ended up adopting him. To this day, I still remember how we came up with his name..The whole family was was sitting around the dinner table tossing names back and forth..Skippy, Scooter, Snoopy..And then my mother says.."We should call him what he is! He's a vagabond!" I was just a young lad at the time and had no idea what a vagabond was. Anyways, vagabond was shortened to Vaugie, and the rest is history.

I was driving down the street the other day, and I stopped at a red light. While I was stopped, a vagrant walked out into the road. He was holding a cardboard sign that said.."I'm not going to lie. I need a beer." Having a panhandler jump out in front of you while your stopped at a red light in Vegas is not a strange thing. It happens all the time. For the most part, the signs they are holding read something like this.."Lost my job. Have a family to feed." or "Fell on hard times. Any help is appreciated." I've seen them all..As sad as it is, I usually turn the other cheek when I see these people. But, when I saw this guys sign about how he just wanted a beer, some thing came over me.

I was looking to drink a beer as well, so I pulled into the gas station where he was panhandling at. I then went inside and grabbed two quarts of Budweiser. The gas station was selling 2 for $2 hot dogs as well. So I made my purchase, walked outside and yelled at the vagabond.."Hey, Bubba..Come over here for a minute. I got something for you." When he looked at me, I could tell that he was a little apprehensive. I'm guessing this guy gets harassed all the time, so he might have been a little intimidated. "Don't worry about nothing. I've got something I want you to have." I then showed him the quart of Bud and the hot dogs. He makes his way over to me, and I give him the goods. Now, if I live to be a thousand years old, I will never forget what this guy said to me after I gave him the goods.."God bless you brother, your a kindred soul."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."My ex wife use to give people on the street money all the time. I would always tell her that they were going to use it for destructive purposes. She would tell me that I have no way of knowing that..Maybe they were going to use the money to feed their family? Why did I decide to buy that guy some alcohol? I just felt that he was being honest with me when I read his sign. Honesty is the best policy..I guess.."