The village idiot of Las Vegas meets China White.

I am planning a trip back to Kansas on February 9th. I am positive the Chiefs are going to win the super bowl and I am anticipating the 9th is the day the victory parade will be held. It is going to be so much fun. I can hardly wait:

Girls of Asian descent and raised in America are quite common in Las Vegas - I refer to them as China White's. Since moving to Colorado Springs I had not met one of them until the other night. She might have been the whitest of all the China White's I have met.

Her birth name is Sirum, or something like that. She says that everyone calls her "Sara." I met her at a bar in Manitou Springs. She was my waitress. She was a damn good waitress. Well, we struck up a conversation about what makes Manitou Springs so special - she tells me this - "I have been here for close to ten years and it's all the people that I enjoy most. It is a very ecclectic bunch in Manitou."

She is so pretty, not to mention quite a bit younger than me (I would guess twenty six) but, then again, you never know if you don't ask - so I say - "China White - How about you and me go out for a night on the town. I am new and could use a good tour guide." I didn't really call her China White, but I did ask her out. She smiles at me after the proposal and says - "I don't think so, but maybe I can bring you another beer?" As I prepare to leave I say one last thing before exiting - "China White, I hope to see you around. You remind me of the girls in Las Vegas." For some reason she didn't take the reference kind and thus gave me a dirty glare as I was walking out the door.

My roommate Fred is a manly man, both a scholar and a gentlemen. So whenever I have questions about certain things, I bend his ear - "The reason she didn't like you comparing her to a 'Vegas girl is simple. She thinks you are referring to her as easy or something of that nature." I tell Fred his statement is ludicrous and if she interpreted things that way then I do not need to be hanging around her any way.

The village idiot of Las Vegas and the marijuana eating deers.

My current abode in Colorado Springs sets nestled at 8000 feet in the mountains. It's a very nice place, I certainly have no reason to complain. Well, I take that back. I have found one reason to. All the fucking deer! Every where you turn there is a deer. You drive down the road, a deer. You look out your window, a deer. I think there are more deers in Colorado Springs than rats in the New York subways:

As all of us know - recreational marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado. So the other day I decide to visit one of the dope shops and purchase a small quantity for personal use. When I arrive home I promptly wrap the whole gram into a blunt wrap and step outside on the back porch to partake. As I am getting ready to light up the phone rings. I'd been waiting on a particular call so I decide to drop the joint on the grass and promptly walk inside to answer the phone. I would guess I was on the phone for thirty minutes, more or less. Any way, I walk outside and there are a couple of deers standing in the area where I had dropped my joint. I yell - "Get the fuck out of here!" My yell startles them and they bolt.

As I am walking up to the spot where I both dropped the joint and the deers were herded I get a sinking feeling in my stomach..."Those motherfuckers better not have done what I think they did. I swear I will shoot one of those bastards if they did." I arrive at the spot, look down, shake my head and think to myself - "Goddammit! You assholes!" Sure enough, one of the bastards munched my joint. After realizing it -  I look over at the pack (they were now standing thirty yards or so from me) and promptly flip them the bird. I then yell - "I hope you assholes enjoyed it!"

As I sit here putting the finishing touches on my post I think to myself - "I sure wish it was legal to shoot deers from the back porch. If it was I would stand outside all day and pick the bastards off. It isn't like there are a shortage of them."

The village idiot of Las Vegas whistles and waves at the feminazis in Colorado Springs.

Often times in my life when I noticed an attractive women walking down the sidewalk or driving by in her car I would whistle and wave at her. Sometimes they would choose to ignore me, but more often then not they would smile and wave back. I view such an act as harmless. You know - just a nice way to compliment a women. It's not like I am being vulgar or anything. Just a harmless whistle and wave as they are passing by. With that said...don't try the "wolf whistle" in Colorado Springs. The feminazis living here will treat you as if you have the plague:

A little while back I was driving through Garden of the Gods when I look to my left and notice two attractive women walking on one of the trails. It was just instinct to whistle and wave at them as I was driving by - harmless enough - you would think. I whistle and wave and both immediately give me the foulest look I have ever seen, and then one yells, "Get lost creep!" I have to admit I was taken aback by their reaction, but then I decided to chalk it up as a couple of dycks having a bad day.

Well, a week later I am driving down main street in Manitou Springs when I spot another couple beauties walking down the sidewalk. Out of habit, I whistle and wave at them. Instead of smiling and waving back, which I was fully expecting, both flip me the middle finger.

After the second incident I decide to get another manly mans opinion. So I told my friend Fred about what happens when you whistle and wave at women in Colorado Springs, he says, "Women don't appreciate when guys do that. They see it as threatening." I say, "Jesus, that has to be women in Colorado. I have whistled and waved at literally a thousand women in my lifetime and most have smiled and waved back. I never received such an icy reception from doing it until I came to Colorado."

As I sit here putting the finishing touches on the post a certain thought is going through my mind - "Are things so politically correct nowadays that a guy can't even whistle and wave at an attractive women without looking like a pariah. If that is the case...Jesus. What is the world coming to?"

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks Chiefs and a data base full of Mexicans with Junior.

juxtaposition - a literary technique in which two or more places, ideas, characters and their actions are placed side by side in a narrative or a poem for developing comparisons and contrasts:

"I am telling you that a white boy can get richer than Richie Rich if he is able to build an organic data base full of Mexican Americans - I know just the place where something like that can happen quickly!" I met with my friend Junior from Albuquerque last night. His wife, son and he were on there way from Albuquerque to Denver for a convention this weekend and they stopped by for the night in Colorado Springs where I am currently residing at my senior associate Fred's house.

"What are you going to sell them? Why would a bunch of Mexicans be interested in buying stuff from a fat white boy like you?" It's funny - Fred asked the same question when I ran my idea by him. "Look," I state assuredly, "I bring the juxtaposition to the area (North Las Vegas). That's a very critical part of making things grow in ideas like the one I am proposing."

Junior can sell shit in a shit storm. He is by far and away the best salesmen I have ever known. But he is still hesitant to agree - "I'm still not sure what you would sell to them if you actually had them," he tells me with a puzzling look on his face. I respond in kind - "Junior, we could sell every widget under the sun to them. It's not the product. It's having someone to actually sell the product to." He looks at me even more puzzling this time and says - "You have to have a product that people want. That's how you become successful."

We go back and forth on what is more important - product or data base. My belief is data base, because without it you have no one who will buy the product. His belief is product and then data base will follow. We agree to disagree and then change the subject to the Chiefs - "Jesus," I tell him with a frown, "How in the world do you lose a game that everyone in the world thought you were going to win?" He smiles, laughs and says - "Dude, don't you think they have brought you enough misery in your life. Maybe it's time to start rooting for another team." I tell him a statement like that is considered blasphemy in my eyes and one day they will make it to the Super Bowl. I just hope it happens before I die.

The village idiot of Las Vegas comes across an unchained Killer.

Back in the days of my youth a family that lived a few houses up from me had a doberman pinscher named Killer. He was always tethered to a tree with a chain and whenever my buddies or I walked by we made it a habit to tease him. I knew in the back of my head I would be in deep trouble if I ever came across Killer unchained:

I remember it like it was yesterday - I was taking my usual short cut home from the ball fields, which entailed walking by Killer's house. His usual resting spot was under the tree he was chained to and I felt something was wrong when I didn't see him there. I take a few more steps and then, much to my chagrin, there he is, staring directly at me...unchained.

It was a moment in time that some would consider suspended. Maybe that's not the best way to say it. Let's just put it in laymen terms - "I was so scared I almost soiled myself." I was now standing a few feet away from the biggest, meanest, angriest dog I had ever seen and he was holding a grudge against me - I did what anyone in my predicament would do - I ran for my life. 

As I am sprinting home I could literally feel Killer's nose buried in my ass. I was for sure he was going to take a big bite out of it. He chased me right to my doorstep. Thankfully - I made it out of the incident unscathed. 

Decades have pasted since I last saw Killer but I still think about him. I now realize why. He was a mighty beast that spent his whole life on a chain - but the one time he was off - he let me know just how powerful and scary he really is.

The village idiot of Las Vegas quotes Donald Trump; talks Groupon beginnings; pitches his plan about twenty thousand Mexicans and how to scale and sees the most beautiful girl in Las Vegas.

"It's that sucking sound. It's the sound of money and jobs being sucked out of the country. It's the sound of the life being sucked out of America."

"The leaders of China and Mexico are so much smarter and more cunning than ours. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of Chinese and Mexican friends. I have made a lot of money off the both of them."

Donald Trump

Groupon was founded in the fall of 2008. The website hinges on a process called Collective Buying Power. CBP is best defined as taking a large, fertile data base and butting it up against a relevant product or service:

Groupon started as a site called The Point in downtown Chicago. The original premise was to get people to act on civic issues. Example: If there was graffiti on a wall or a pot hole in the road.instead of a few people reporting it, the site procured numerous people to act. Well, enter the collapse of 2008 and the data base was shifted to a consumer format (Groupon was created) - the data base of twenty thousand was shifted from The Point to Groupon and the rest is history.

Now that you have a brief history of Groupon I will put things as concisely as I can. There is a Spanish Groupon to be had in North Las Vegas. My extensive efforts and research tell me such. The section of North Las Vegas I've been canvassing the last eight months possesses all the traits and characteristics to make such a claim viable. It has the cohesiveness, sense of community, crowd, fervor, businesses and urban setting...all in bushels.

The only thing missing from the equation is a community blogger (me). See, there is no one like me in North Las Vegas! No one even close! I have a very deep knowledge of how things will come together. It is imperative a person be able to sell the site and communicate the message. My career in sales and marketing coupled with impeccable blogging and communication skills make me the ideal choice to spearhead such a venture.

Twenty thousand consumers to a data base - It can be done! I know how things work! One last thing, if CBP is done correctly in the beginning, the ability to scale becomes massive. One more last thing - if anyone is naive enough to believe Hispanics won't bode well as a market, they should reconsider - Census numbers quote one and a half trillion in consumer spending by the Hispanic population in 2015. I anticipate the number to grow exponentially (as long as Donald Trump doesn't decide to deport all of them:)

One more last thing, the most beautiful girl in Las Vegas walked into the computer lab today. I try my best not to stare. But the task proved impossible. She was really dolled up today. As usual it is a heavenly sight.

Donald Trump; beautiful women; Asians and Hispanics. The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about them all.

I walk into the library today and she is standing at the front desk chatting with her friend Joe. It's been a while since I saw her up close. Well, I lost my library card last week and was in need of a new one so I hand Joe my ID and he begins the process of replacing it. Now I am standing a few feet away from her while I wait - I decide to say something to her - "How are things going today?" I ask sheepishly. She looks up from the pamphlet she is reading and gives me a look of disgust and then looks back down. The action doesn't faze me. After all, I am accustom to such looks from women, especially beautiful women. Nonetheless - she is a heavenly sight.

"I tell you what boy. Donald Trump has awoken the silent majority in this country. He is saying it just like your grandpa said it a long time ago." I called a friend from Kansas over the weekend...our discussion turned to politics quickly - "Do you know what I really like about him? And I have been saying and practicing the same thing for the longest time. Why can't Americans figure out a way to make money off the Chinese and Mexicans? They're sucking all the money and jobs out of the country and no one is doing a goddamn thing to try an make money off of them." We chat a bit more about politics and he says - "I would really like to see someone get in there who will get the economy humming again. Someone who will not scare private investment away. Trump has the talk, but does he have the walk?"

Both of us agree Trump winning the presidency is a long shot, but what if it actually happens. What would the country look like? I add my two cents - "Like I said earlier - He is encouraging entrepreneurs to devise ways to make money off the Chinese and Mexicans. He is encouraging a global economy. All the other candidates combined haven't mentioned a thing about it. If they have it didn't resonate with me. Trump's statements do!"

He asks me about the girl at city hall (the one I mention in the first paragraph) and if I thought I had chance - "No," is my answer. I then remind him of a number of ideas I have worked on through the years - "People don't realize how ingrained I am in the Asian community of Las Vegas. Do you remember when I blogged about having ten restaurants signed up for electronic coverage in Chinatown? When I had those ten contracts in my hand I was literally holding a million dollars. At the time I was unable to find the necessary group to help take the plan to completion. People weren't paying attention then. But hey, look what Trump is saying - And now I have established a great relationship with a number of people in North Las Vegas. If given the support I will spearhead the effort to get twenty thousand Hispanic consumers to a data base. They are there brother. It can be done! I promise you that."

As we are wrapping up our conversation he says something poetic to me - "Jeez, you would think a guy would get tired of trying. Don't get me wrong. I love your blog. It's just that everything you blog about is self deprecating. I mean it's always about how women hate you, or some homeless person you met, or how you're broke, or something of that nature. But you never get deterred. It's like your oblivious to things." I thank him for his patronage to the blog and say - "The Chinese and the Mexicans and all the things that could come from it are hard for people to understand unless they come out and see it first hand. It's real...it's very real! I have all the connections and experience to make it work. The thing I lack is adequate resources. I can tell you this with certainty brother. I will never give up! I am too close! It is too big! I am butted up next to it and no one but me knows how to make it work! One last thing - I should send a donation to Trump's campaign. He is solely responsible for reawakening people to my beliefs!"