The village idiot of Las Vegas..Hard luck and busted Part 4...

I received an e-mail from a reader of my blog the other day, he said - "Your current posts are better than any of your previous ones. The reason is your life looks like a train wreck, and that's what people want to see. Anyways, you make looking like a failure funny." As sad as it is, I try to keep the humor about my situation. I sincerely believe my luck will change. If it doesn't...fuck, that's life.

I met this girl named Roxy a while back. It had been a while since we last chatted so I gave her a call the other day - "Hi Roxy, what's going on? It's your friend Rob." There was a brief silence over the phone and then she says, 'What the fuck do you want?" Roxy is a working girl, a damn good one, and is not into mincing words. "I just wanted to see how things were going, I'm lonely and I was wondering if I could come over?" I don't have a dime to my name, but Roxy has shown her charitable side to me before, so I was hoping she might do it again. As usual, I was wrong - "Look asshole! My services cost money! You already owe me for the last time! Do you have some money? And don't give me this bullshit about how you are going to be rich one of these days and you'll pay me then. I've already fallen for that line once. You want to come over? You better have a pocket full of money!"

I'd used up most of my lines with her, but I still had to try one more -"Roxy, people don't understand how important your services are to society. It's girls like you that keep guys like me from going crazy. Now, I don't have your going rate per se, but if you could find it in your heart to extend me a little credit...I promise! We can settle up when I get the money." It was my last gasp, and unfortunately it didn't work, "Look, I can see that you want to fuck me," she says in a voice that will drive any man insane, "I get it! If you want to come over? I'll take care of all your needs! But you had better have my going rate! Or you can stay home and fuck yourself! Do I need to make that any more clear for you?" I've always admired how the working girls in Las Vegas got right to the point. After all, it's a business to them. I told Roxy I would come see her again when things picked up, and one of these days I would make an honest women out of her. I'm kidding about the honest women part.

I am going to end this post with a thought I am having...call it the village idiot thought of the day - "How do I say this? A girl like Roxy is not a girl you would bring home to meet your mother, that is, unless your mother is a porn star."

The village idiot of Las Vegas..Hard luck and busted Part 3..

I've got the perfect idea for a reality show, and I know exactly what the title of it will be.. 'Hard Luck and Busted'..The show would revolve around all the hard luck stories in Las Vegas, but it wouldn't be sad. I'd strive to bring out the humor in everyones situation..There's a sitcom called 'Two Broke Girls'..I'm thinking like that, but in a reality setting. I'd be in charge of recruiting and story line..I promise you won't find a better guy in SW Las Vegas..

I've decided to keep things real in the blog, no more fluff..Not now anyways, the truth of the matter? I'm about ready to find myself living in my car..And you know what is crazy about it? I don't give a shit, I'm to focussed on the big picture to really care..I look at it as a future rich man paying his dues. Before people start thinking I'm crazy, this life ain't for 99% of the population. Most people have responsibilities, not me..I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and right now. The one thing I have an abundance of in life? Time.

I was reading an article about Tyler Perry..It talked about how he lived in his car when he first got started, and look at him now..A lot of people think that kind of dedication and belief is crazy..It is in a way, but if you want it bad enough? You don't care!

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I don't care how bleak the situation looks! If I can convince a few people to help me? If that ever happened? I'm convinced! There's a lot of money at the end of one of my ideas."

The village idiot of Las Vegas..Hard luck and busted Part 2..

I got a message on Face Book today, it was from an old friend of mine in Kansas. He's a fan of the blog, and he wanted to know why I was so down on my luck..The truth of the matter? My life has been a bowl of cherries compared to his. Growing up, know one, and I mean know one, thought this kid would live to see 21. He'd been diagnosed with cancer multiple times, multiple bone marrow transplants, encephalitis, car wrecks, carnage, this was all before he turned 21. If it had anything to do with hard luck? He experienced it in his younger years. Turns out, his 40th birthday is right around the corner..Now, I have to admit some thing to him, and I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way. It had been 15-20 years since I had talked with him, that's before I ran into him on Face Book..When I first saw him on Face Book, I had to do a double take..I was shocked that he was still alive, and I don't mean to sound like a morbid prick when I say that, but it's the truth.. Nowadays, we've reconnected and I'm convinced that he is going to out live us all. I guess will see..

Hard luck and busted stories are a dime a dozen in Las Vegas..The town was literally rocked to the core by the recession. Anything that could go wrong? It did for a lot of people who call Las Vegas home. You could put a list together longer than a donkeys tail about what needs to be done to correct things in Las Vegas..What would be at the top of my list? Two things actually, job creation and entrepreneurship.. Here's an interesting tidbit about me (I'm a registered Libertarian)..The Libertarian point of view is a generation or two from becoming mainstream. Anyways, I'm going to save the political talk for a different day.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I wonder if people would find this concept interesting? A grown up Oliver Twist like character meets a modern day Las Vegas..The goal of any blogger is to see if he can't bring his writing to life..I'm convinced I can, just need to find the right person to play along with..One last thing. Happy Birthday to my friend Scott Edwards..I can see 40 more coming your way."

Hard luck and busted..The Village idiot of Las Vegas..

"Heh, look over there! It's the village idiot of Las Vegas." At the time, I was standing on the corner of Charleston and Durango. I was holding a sign that said.."Hard luck and busted." I also had the link to my blog displayed on the sign..I figured if I was going to panhandle, I might as well advertise my blog..Turns out, I got a lot to learn about the art of panhandling.

"This is my fucking corner, get lost asshole!" I ain't the only guy in Vegas panhandling, and it turns out I was trespassing on some prime territory.."Heh dude, I was here first." The corner I was standing on? Perfect place, stop lights, high traffic count, nice part of town..Basically, it's what every panhandler in town is looking for.."I tell you what dude, I will go find another corner to stand on." This was my first go around panhandling, and I wasn't looking for any trouble..So, I move down a block to Charleston and Buffalo..The first thing I noticed when I pulled into the corner gas station, some one had already beaten me to the punch, so I moved again..This time I was at the corner of Russell and Durango..That ended up being my spot..

The trick to panhandling? Do it fast..When a group of cars stop at the red light. Walk the middle lane with your sign..I was wearing sunglasses and a hat..I'm not particularly proud of turning to panhandling, but, I'm in between jobs, and a guy still has to eat..Besides, and this may sound weird, I kind of always wanted to try it, just to see what the reaction was..With that said, I don't make for a very good panhandler..A guy  gave me 50 cents and told me that I needed a better sign... I picked 'hard luck and busted' for my sign, because it sums up my life at this point..Turns out, panhandling isn't what it's all cracked up to be. I stood out in the scorching Las Vegas sun four hours, and only made $17.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."When I was a kid growing up in Kansas, I never thought I would be standing on a corner in Las Vegas panhandling. I've lived in Las Vegas for over 6 years, and I love this town more than anything..Hopefully, my panhandling career is short lived...I guess? At this point, it is what it is."

The village idiot of Las Vegas looks into his crystal ball..

Don't let the title of this post fool you! As much as I wish I had a crystal ball? I don't..If I did? I'd be a billionaire! With that said, I'm going to tell you about my friend Trey..Mr. T (that's what I like to call him) is a California gang banger that was sent to Las Vegas two years ago by his clique. I'm guessing Trey is 22, 23 at tops..I met Trey when I was working at 7-11. Actually, he was the guy who nicknamed me Mr. 7-11. My friend Trey has two redeeming qualities (narcotics trafficking, pandering)..With that said, let me tell you what my crystal ball says about his future.

'The village idiot of Las Vegas waves at the ghetto bird' was a previous post for my blog. In that post, I told everyone about a shoot out in the 7-11 parking lot..Well, it turns out my friend Trey was right in the middle of it. Now, the story I heard, was that a couple of Mexicans were trying to move in on Trey's territory..Let's put it this way, he wasn't liking that idea one iota..Anyways, he ended up crossing paths with one of them in the 7-11 parking lot. He figured he would rough the guy up some, let him know that this was his neck of the woods and competition wasn't welcome..So, he proceeds to beat the hell out of this guy..After the message was delivered, the Mexican go's to his car and grabs his gun. He then proceeds to fire a couple rounds at Trey. Well, Trey is never one to miss out on the action, so he fires a few shots back at the guy. Fortunately, neither one was hit. Since I've known Trey (two years)..If memory serves me right? That's the third person who has taken a shot at him.

Today, I was walking out of 7-11 and he was walking in.."Mr. 7-11, where the fuck have you been? I haven't seen you in a while." Trey is a helluva of a good looking kid, he kind of looks like Usher. He's always very respectful to me..I don't let that fool me. The truth of the matter? He's a complete sociopath. We exchanged pleasantries, and then I told him I had to go..To be honest with you, Trey is not a guy you want to stand very close to..I'm almost a 100% certain he's going to find his demise in a hail of gunfire, and I'm not to keen on catching a stray bullet..

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."Las Vegas is a gambling town! People are inclined to bet on anything..With that said, I'm going to set the odds at -320 that Trey doesn't live another year..For the sake of all things holy, I hope that I'm wrong."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about his buddy and four women in bed..

I realize the title of this blog post is a bit confusing..It even confuses me a little bit. I tell you what, I'm going to do my best to describe it..Trust me, it's a very bizarre story.

Living in Las Vegas, you see a little bit of everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything! I've got a friend in town by the name of Prego. Now, Prego is a very interesting fella. He was born in Italy, and his family migrated to Boston in the 1970's. He moved out to Las Vegas 15 years ago, and has called it home since. I met Prego a while back at a restaurant I used to work at..What's the best way to describe him? Philanderer is the best word that comes to mind. Anyways, I hadn't talked with him in a while, so I called him the other day.

"Prego, it's Jethro! What the fuck is going on?" Jethro is his nickname for me. He says that I remind him of Jethro Bodine (Beverly Hillbillies). "It's good to hear your voice my friend, I'm in a tough spot right now." When he told me that he was in a tough spot, I knew right away he was having some sort of women problem. He once told me that if god had never created a women..He would be the richest guy in Las Vegas.."What did you do now?" I've heard a number of his hard luck stories when it comes to women..This one? It was bizarre, even by Prego's standards.

"Jethro, I caught my wife in bed with a couple of women." I wanted to make sure that I was hearing him right, so I asked him.."If I heard you right? You said you caught your wife in bed with a couple of women? When you say a couple? How many are you talking about, Exactly?" Prego and his fourth wife are both pigs. Both of them have the morals of an alley cat, so the fact he caught his wife cheating on him? Well, it doesn't really come as a surprise to me. But, I figured she would probably just run off with the mailman or something like that. "It was her and three other girls, all in the same bed." Prego responded..I then asked him what his response was when he first discovered his wife was in bed with three other women? "Jethro, I was dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say. To be honest with you, I didn't have much time to talk. One of the girls who was in bed with my wife, asked my wife if that was him? She then nodded. Well, this crazy bitch grabs a gun off of the nightstand and points it at me. She then tells me that my wife is leaving me, and to pack my shit and get the hell out. For a minute, I thought I was being Punk'd..That's until she pulled the hammer back on the gun. Then I realized it wasn't a joke. So I packed up my shit and moved in with my brother."

Prego's recovery time from broken relationships has always been fast. Turns out, he already has a new girlfriend..That new girlfriend happens to be his second wife (We'll see how long that last)..Anyways, he asks me if I want to get a drink some time? Prego is a fun guy to hang out with! But, this wasn't the first time a girl has pulled a gun on him, and I imagine it won't be the last. I kept having this thought go through my head when he invited me to get a drink: One of his damsels in distress would probably show up at the bar, wanting to settle the score with him. Of course he would duck when the gunfire started, and yours truly would be right in the line of fire. Besides, it's always the innocent, dumb shit, bystander from Kansas who gets shot in situations like that. So I politely declined his request.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."Some of these fucking guys in Vegas are insane! One of these days I'm going to see an article in the paper that says 'Jilted lover shoots boyfriend in SW valley'. I won't even have to read the article. I'll know exactly who they are talking about by just reading the headline."

The village idiot of Las Vegas meets a bum on the street..

Vagabond is the German word for bum or vagrant. The first dog I had when I was a kid was named Vagabond, or Vaugie for short.. I remember the first time I saw him. My dad found him going through are trash looking for something to eat. Well, since he was a daschund (German), and know one else wanted him, we ended up adopting him. To this day, I still remember how we came up with his name..The whole family was was sitting around the dinner table tossing names back and forth..Skippy, Scooter, Snoopy..And then my mother says.."We should call him what he is! He's a vagabond!" I was just a young lad at the time and had no idea what a vagabond was. Anyways, vagabond was shortened to Vaugie, and the rest is history.

I was driving down the street the other day, and I stopped at a red light. While I was stopped, a vagrant walked out into the road. He was holding a cardboard sign that said.."I'm not going to lie. I need a beer." Having a panhandler jump out in front of you while your stopped at a red light in Vegas is not a strange thing. It happens all the time. For the most part, the signs they are holding read something like this.."Lost my job. Have a family to feed." or "Fell on hard times. Any help is appreciated." I've seen them all..As sad as it is, I usually turn the other cheek when I see these people. But, when I saw this guys sign about how he just wanted a beer, some thing came over me.

I was looking to drink a beer as well, so I pulled into the gas station where he was panhandling at. I then went inside and grabbed two quarts of Budweiser. The gas station was selling 2 for $2 hot dogs as well. So I made my purchase, walked outside and yelled at the vagabond.."Hey, Bubba..Come over here for a minute. I got something for you." When he looked at me, I could tell that he was a little apprehensive. I'm guessing this guy gets harassed all the time, so he might have been a little intimidated. "Don't worry about nothing. I've got something I want you to have." I then showed him the quart of Bud and the hot dogs. He makes his way over to me, and I give him the goods. Now, if I live to be a thousand years old, I will never forget what this guy said to me after I gave him the goods.."God bless you brother, your a kindred soul."

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."My ex wife use to give people on the street money all the time. I would always tell her that they were going to use it for destructive purposes. She would tell me that I have no way of knowing that..Maybe they were going to use the money to feed their family? Why did I decide to buy that guy some alcohol? I just felt that he was being honest with me when I read his sign. Honesty is the best policy..I guess.."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about how a barter system works..

My laptop finally gave out on me today. It had been acting funny for the last week..(It wouldn't stay powered up)..A life without my laptop would be the equivalent of Fred without Ginger, Mutt without Jeff, Charlie without call girls..You get the picture, my laptop is important to me. Now, in the old days I would have tossed it in the trash and bought a new one. Well, that was the old days, nowadays things are much different, so I decided to take it into a computer repair shop. Now, there is a shop right down the street from where I live. I figured that was as good a place as any. My goal was to get my computer fixed or walk out of there with a replacement..Either way it was going to be a tough task, since I was broke.

When I pull up to this place, the first thing I notice is the door is wide open. That struck me as very strange, considering it was 113 degrees today in Las Vegas. I walk into the shop and it feels like a sauna room..I didn't see anyone at first, so I yelled.."Is anyone here?" The next thing you know this guy comes out from the back..I proceed to tell him about what's wrong with my computer, he then tells me that it sounds like the mother board is fried. He wanted me to leave it with him, in order to do a diagnostic on it..I told him this.."Sounds good to me buddy, I need to ask you something before I go. Why in the hell don't you have the air conditioning cranked up? It's miserable in here!" You should have seen this guy, sweat was dripping from his fore head, his shirt was soaked..I kid you not, I thought he was going to kick over from a heat stroke. He then tells me this.."Some motherfucker stole all of the copper wiring out of the air conditioning units, and the landlord isn't going to have them replaced for another week..I've got a bunch of fans going, but their not doing a thing. I would close the shop, but I've got bills to pay, and tons of worked stacked up." This guy looked miserable, and to top it all off he had his dog with him, the dog looked more miserable than him. I was in the place for 20 minutes and damn near fainted because of the heat.

After I left, I started thinking about what I was going to do if my computer was fried. I don't have the funds to buy a new one, and I can't live without a computer..Well, the call came and I got the news I was dreading. My computer was fried, and I needed a new one..I consider myself a resourceful guy, you have to be when you live in Las Vegas. A few months ago I picked up a window air conditioning unit at a garage sale. I had no reason to buy it, my AC works just fine. I figured what the hell, maybe it will come in handy one of these days. With that in mind, I told him this

"Looky here, I don't have the money to buy a new computer right now. But, I do have something that might be beneficial to you. Have you ever heard of the barter system?" His reply was yes. I then told him this.."I know that you've got an old laptop laying around your shop that your not using. If you can part ways with it. I will swap you out a window AC unit that I have." I felt I was making this guy a fair offer. I don't see how he could stay in his shop with it being so hot, and his poor dog..Anyways, he tells me that I got a deal, and to get down to his shop pronto. I load up the unit from my garage and make my way to his shop. I had never actually tested the unit to see if it worked, so my fingers were crossed. Well, I carry it into his shop, we mount it in the window, plug it in, and the next thing you know it starts spewing out cold air. The guy was so happy, he gave me a choice of three laptops to pick from. I grabbed the one I liked, we shake hands, and I make my way to the door. On the way out, I noticed something that made me smile. His Doberman was lying directly under the AC unit:)

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "Most of the time, this is a money talks bullshit walks kind of world, most of the time, not all the time. Tit-4-tat, you scratch my back I scratch yours, barter system..I don't care what you call it! It can be highly effective in certain situations."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about how to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow..

Everyone knows the fable, go find the end of the rainbow and a big shiny pot of gold will await. Every time I see a rainbow? I think about it. As far as I know, the pot of gold has never been found. I have a different perspective on what the rainbow should look like, and how one might find that ever elusive pot of gold at the end of it.

The gist of Guerrilla Marketing techniques revolves around sales teams. Now, when I say that, I'm not talking about the guy going door to door selling vacuum cleaners. The Guerrilla team I'm proposing would be much more attractive and creative. As a few of you know, I used to work at 7-11. I know a job at 7-11 is not much to brag about. The reason I took the job? Eventually, I would be able to make some beneficial connections..(Total rings for a shift were consistently in the 400-500 range). OK, convenience stores have lots of people go through them..So!

Now, I'm what some people might consider a New Age guy, outside the box thinker, village idiot, whatever you want to call it, I'm it! Consider a possibility like this for a minute. What if a person or persons could figure out a way to extract some of the 'people traffic' that frequents a place like 7-11? Make it benefial for them. Are you still confused?

Guerrilla Marketing is all about people..By now, most people reading my blog should know that. The tricky part of any Guerrilla campaign is finding the right people for the job. Before I go any further, let me clarify something. When most people think about a job at 7-11? Well, they've already got it stereo-typed. Low paying, low skills, means to an end kind of work. For the most, they're right. If you approach a job like 7-11 with a bad attitude? I guarantee you! The thought of jumping off Hoover Dam will cross your mind more than once. It's imperative that you find something in your job, while your at your job.

Still confused? Forget everything you just read, and remember this! 7-11 and other places like it are 'people factories'. The most important element of Guerrilla Marketing is people, I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but it's an important that everyone understand..No people? No Guerrilla Marketing team..When I was at 7-11, and I don't really know how to be more clear about things! I met a gaggle of people who could fit the description of what a Guerrilla Marketer should resemble. And, I talked to a number of them about how the process works..Lots of interest..The problem being? Lack of resources to make it attractive.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I'm the best salesman that I know, I have a Master's degree in Las Vegas (pun). Basically what I'm saying? I know everything there is to know about the landscape of Las Vegas. I don't say that to sound arrogant, it's the truth! I've got the background, the plan, and one of these days I'm going to find the proper resources to back my big mouth up. At the beginning of the blog, I mention the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I still believe it is real, albeit you have to build a road map to find it. A strong Guerrilla Marketing team would be a BIGGG first step in finding that pot of gold."

More random thoughts from the village idiot of Las Vegas..

I called my ex-wife today looking for feedback on my blog..I knew she would give me an honest opinion of what she thought, and I love feedback..Well, she told me this. "The word I would best describe for your blog? Intriguing, I feel like if I don't read your posts? I'm missing something. Remember, how you couldn't wait for a new episode of Entourage? You thought if you didn't see it first you were missing something? That's how I feel about the blog." Her comment was heart felt, and it put a wide smile on my face.

A friend of mine who I met working at 7-11, runs a sports service company in town. His company is one of the main groups that sets and maintains betting lines throughout the world. Anyways, I hadn't seen him in a while, so I decided to stop by.. He was a big fan of a previous blog, and I figured he would get a kick out my Village Idiot endeavors..We go back into his office and I tell him what I'm up to, and he tells me a few things about how his business works..As I'm leaving, I tell him this.."Rocco, could you find a job for me here? I've got all sorts of skills, plus I'm half-way familiar with how the business works." He said that he was going out of town for a few days, but when he comes back, we'll talk.. Looking forward to our next conversation.

The longest home run I ever saw at Kaufman stadium? Bo Jackson hit it. If memory serves me right? The ball landed at the top of the grass...480 feet or so? Some of the bombs hit tonight at the home run contest reminded me of that..One of these days I'm going to come back to KC and visit. I haven't been to Kaufman stadium in how many years? I'm going to fix that next time I am in town.

The village idiot of Las Vegas gets a hug from Matt Damon..

"Screw it, I'm going to the Haina," I was sitting at home with my soon to be ex-wife. The marriage was on its last leg. I figured there was no reason to hang around the house and make things worse. I slide on my coat, walk out the door and make the short hike to the Haina. Once there, I grab a seat at the bar and the bartender brings me a beer. I then take a look around the bar and notice a guy on the other side pacing back and forth while he is talking on his phone. I didn't think much of it at the time. As I'm taking another sip of my beer I hear a voice yell - "Fuck Yeah!" Turns out it was the guy on the phone who yelled.

I look up and ask the guy why he is so happy. He smiles and says - "I just got a job!" Good jobs are hard to come by nowadays, so I tell him this. - "Man, that is great! Where did you get a job at?" He says, "Los Angeles, in Hollywood." The next thing you know some one yells, "Congratulations Matt!" I then take a good look at who I was chatting with, and wouldn't you know...it was Matt Damon in the flesh.

"You see the guy over there in the white shirt. I want to buy him a shot, whatever he wants," I tell the bartender. A few minutes later she comes back with a shot of Jameson's. A minute or two after that he stands up, grabs the shot I bought and says -"Who's this one from?" I smile and say, "That one is from me, Congratulations on your job Matt," he then says, "Cheers," and knocks back the shot I bought for him.

As the night goes on I notice something in particular about him, he liked to hug people. I must have watched him hug ten people. Anyways, as his entourage and he are preparing to leave, I yell this - "Hey, Matt," he then turns, looks at me and smiles. I couldn't figure out what to say, so I said the first thing that came to mind, "Do you think I could have a hug?" I have never been much into man hugging, but what the hell. It was Matt Damon.

He shrugs his shoulders and says - "Sure." I throw my arms out, he does the same. We then meet chest to chest with arms around each other's back. After the embrace is over, I tell him this - "I don't give a fuck what anyone says about Las Vegas! The streets out here are paved with gold!" I feel that statement to be a hundred times more valid today then when I said it the first time. Anyways, he looks at me, smiles and says - "I like your attitude and thanks for the shot."

The village idiot of Las Vegas meets a 19 year old All-Star..

How many of you are familiar with the Bryce Harper story? Bryce is a 19 year old kid from Las Vegas, who just got selected to his first Major League All-Star game..You heard it right! 19 years old and he's already playing in the All-Star game. Let me give you a brief run down on the Bryce Harper story. When he was a sophomore in high school, Sports Illustrated did a cover story on him. His destiny was to play in the majors, and he wanted to do it as fast as possible. After his sophomore year he had already completed enough courses to attain his GED..The rules for getting drafted state that you must be 18 years of age, or at least one year removed from high school..At the time? He was neither. So, he ends up enrolling at the College of Southern Nevada..(CSN is a large JUCO in Las Vegas, they have an excellent baseball program, and the great thing about it? They are only allowed to use wooden bats)..Naturally, some of the naysayers thought a wooden bat would slow down his production..

Think again, in the one year that he was at CSN? His batting average was in the high 400's and his home run total was 31..The previous school record for home runs in a season? 12. Anyways, CSN advances to the JUCO world series, and everyone is expecting to see a show from Bryce..The problem being? He was thrown out of the first game for arguing a call..The rules state that if you get thrown out of a game, your automatically suspended for the next game..That didn't bode well for CSN chances, and they were effectively eliminated.

After his year in JUCO was up? Bryce was more than ready to make his way to the show. Without any suspense at all, Bryce was drafted with the first pick by the Washington Nationals. If my memory serves me right? He was barely 18 when he was picked? Anyways, the Nationals signed him to a nice juicy contract, sent him to the minors for a year, and then called him up to the show earlier this year.. Now, at the tender age of 19, Bryce has found his way to my home town of Kansas City for this year's All-Star game..I'm predicting the All-Star game will be a big time coming out party for him?

A few years ago, I got a call from a friend of mine in Las Vegas. He had tickets to a college basketball tournament that was playing at The South Point..(South Point is a casino located on S. Las Vegas Blvd). They have a nice arena that hosts all sorts of sporting events..We make our way into the arena and my friend asks me.."Heh by the way, do you know who Bryce Harper is? Him and his dad are coming to watch the game as well." My friend is friends with a guy who is a friend of his dads..Anyways, I'm sitting court side, watching the game, and my friend says.."Heh Rob, come over hear for a moment I want you to meet some people." I look up and I see him standing next to a few people, one of them was Bryce's dad, and the other was Bryce.

I walk over and my friend introduces me to both of them..Old man Harper was a very nice and pleasant man, and when I met Bryce? I could tell right away that he came from good stock. When I first looked at this kid? He didn't really strike me as the next big thing. He looked like any other 16 year old, albeit he was built a lot better than most. He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt that said "Las Vegas Little League." We exchange pleasantries, and I almost asked him for his autograph, but I didn't want to bother him. He was their to relax and enjoy the game. Now, I kind of regret not getting a picture or signature..(I noticed his autograph was selling on Ebay for a tidy sum)..The kid was getting so much hype at the time, that I almost expected an entourage would be following him..Not the case, just a father and son watching a basketball game.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "Don't get me wrong, I knew all along that Bryce Harper was something special..But come on! You would think a guy would have to be in his 20's, at least? In order to make the Major League All-Star team..I guess not. Bryce keep up the hard work..All of your bro's in Vegas are proud of you!"

The village idiot of Las Vegas waves at the ghetto bird...

The other night I was sitting on my porch minding my own business when all of a sudden I hear a loud humming noise. I look up in the sky and am damn near blinded by the spotlight of a Metro helicopter (ghetto bird). It's not uncommon to see the bird around town. I didn't know what else to do so I waved. I was then blinked twice by the it -- Being blinked twice means they see you and have deemed you a non threat.

I then look over the ledge of my porch and notice four Metro officers canvassing the courtyard, K9 and all...One of the officers notices me and asks if I had seen anybody running through the courtyard. I told him no. I then ask - "What is going on?" He tells me this - "There was a disturbance at the 7-11 across the street. Some one said they saw the perpetrator run through the complex."

Today I went into the 7-11 where the disturbance occurred. I am good friends with a few of the people who work there. One of them tells me this - "You missed it. There was a shoot out the other night." Now, it was becoming crystal clear why the ghetto bird was in my neck of the woods. Shootings are what generally bring it. He then goes on to add - "I was working and I hear people arguing out in the parking lot, so I look out the window. The next thing you know this guy was shooting at this car. And some one in the car was firing back." I ask if anyone was hit? He answers, "No, but they sure were trying."

The village idiot of Las Vegas runs into a Penelope Cruz look-a-like..

OK! I promised my uncle Joe that I would find something else to blog about, give all the beautiful women in SW Las Vegas a rest.."Come on, give it rest, it's the same story with all these women that you hit on! They all say No. Give me a break and find something else to blog about." Joe I want you to know that I respect your opinion and welcome all of your feedback. The problem being? It's impossible for a single, heterosexual, red-blooded, American male, not to take notice of all them. Some times? I feel like that kid in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. SW Las Vegas plays the part of the chocolate factory. With that said..I've got another only in Las Vegas story to share.

I met this girl named Carmela a few weeks ago..(Argentina, black bikini, the first time I met her was at the hot tub in my complex)..Well, the other day, I went down to check my mail, and their she was. When I turned the corner into the mail room? I almost ran right smack into her..Lord have mercy, this girl looks like an Aphrodite statue..She was wearing a yellow sun dress, that hugged every inch of her body, the color of her dress accentuated her mocha skin..The first time I met her, I couldn't figure out quite who she looked like, and then I saw Penelope Cruz on the Tonight Show, and that's when I made the association..Carmela resembled Penelope Cruz, big time.

With that said, I knew that she didn't recognize me, so I figured I would try to jar her memory.."Carmela, right?" Believe me I wasn't going to forget her name..Ever..I was curious to see if she would remember mine..She starts looking at me, and right away I could tell that I had faded from her memory bank..So, I said. "Rob, we met in the hot tub a few weeks back." She looks at me, smiles, and says.."OK, I remember you. You were the one who was telling me about Guerrilla Marketing?" Well, we proceed to have a nice exchange about a few things, and then she tells me this.."It was nice talking with you." She then turns around and leaves the mail room. I peak out the window for one last look, and I notice her getting into a Mercedes XL, the two seat model, and drive off..I'm guessing it was a 120-130k car..When I first looked at this girl? I could tell she was used to the finer things in life.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "If I could draw a picture of what a Guerrilla Marketer should resemble? That picture would be of Carmela, and a lot of others like her in SW Las Vegas."

One last thing.

Guerrilla Marketing can best be defined as: Intense, creative, people based, sales or marketing campaigns. I will leave it at this, Las Vegas has all the ingredients for an exceptional GM team, super exceptional...

Random thoughts from the village idiot of Las Vegas..

"Your beating a dead horse, give up already, and get a job." Needless to say, my father is not a fan of my blog or any other ideas that I have..I get it, and I'm perfectly fine with it. The problem being? The ideas I preach about require investment, and the first question out of every would be investors mouth, nowadays? Is your father going to invest? Well, I'm hear to tell you the answer to that question is no! I've done my due diligence with him..He has nothing financially, philosophically, politically, personally..Whatever ly your looking for? He ain't got it, and if he does? He's not willing to share it. Now don't get me wrong, I love and respect my father a lot, but for some reason or another, people think him and are attached at the hip. I'm hear to tell you that is not the case, and the sooner I can make that clear? The better off I will be! The reason for the rant? I promised a potential investor that I would chat with my father about investing again. It made my stomach turn doing it. But, when a potential investor tells you to do something? You do it!

I have an interesting family fact to share with my viewer's. Uncle Joe is the only known nudist in our family. The last 10 years Joe has called a nudist camp in Kansas his home. I asked what it was like living in a nudist camp? His response? "Just like living anywhere else, except your naked all the time." Well, my uncle Joe is a big fan of the blog..So, I called him today in order to get some much needed feedback. To me? Feedback for my blog is a welcome blessing. I don't care if people like or dislike my blog, I just want to know what they think of it..Feedback is how things get better..That's my belief anyways..

"Uncle Joe, what do think about my blog? I haven't heard much from you about it lately. So lets hear what you think." My uncle Joe is not a person who minces his words. So, whenever he gives me advice about the blog? I listen.."Robbie, the blog is getting boring to me?" I've heard a number of different opinions about the blog, and I never heard anyone describe it as boring.."What do you mean it's boring?" Boring is not a word I want associated with my blog, so I had to get to the bottom of this. "It's starting to be all about the same thing. Basically, you find a girl in Vegas you like, you put the move on her, and she shoots you down..That story is getting old. Don't you have anything new to blog about? How many times do I have to hear about you striking out. It gets old after a while." As I stated earlier, uncle Joe is not a guy who minces his words. So, I asked him this.."There is a lot more in the blog than me just striking out with the women. I emphasize it so much because that's what I thought people found amusing. That's what I hear from a lot of people anyways." "That theme is just getting old to me. Find something new to replace it, at least for a little while." Believe me, I am going to take my uncle's suggestion into consideration.

"Uncle Joe, I have another question for you. Do you think my writing portrays women in a negative light? That was my father's opinion." Obviously, the women in Las Vegas play a big part as characters in some of the stories. My father wasn't specific on his feedback, but my intuition tells me that he wasn't approving of the way I associated the women in Las Vegas with money.."I don't see that as anything bad. From the sounds of it, even if you had a pocketful of money. None of these girls would go out with you." Who knows? My uncle could be right? The truth of the matter is I'm not to popular with the women in Las Vegas. I don't gross them out or anything like that. I'm just irrelevant to them.."Believe me, no disrespect is meant by views about women, people reading this blog have to take it with a grain of salt..In the end, a majority of my posts revolve around me failing at something or another..I've been told by a couple of my viewer's that it's funny to watch a guy fail. Well, that's something I've been good at..So why not embellish it?" Uncle Joe. "Whatever, do the girls of Las Vegas a favor and give them a break for a while..Shit, your an excellent writer, surely you can think of something else to blog about?"

I like to end every post with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."When people read my blog? I want them to forget about things for a moment, let me see if I can make you smile. If your really paying attention to it? I have a number of my ideas sprinkled throughout..Most people aren't paying that much attention to things..That's fine..In the end? I just want everyone to get a nice laugh out of it."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about a next level idea..

"The best way to describe Las Vegas? Next-level..If your going to have any success in this town? You better have some next-level ideas."

Robert Joseph Astle

I know it's not cool to quote yourself, but to be honest with you, who cares? Most people will spend their life thinking at a certain level. Nothing wrong with it..It just fits the old adage "Do what you always do, get what you always got." Make no mistake about things. The purpose of this blog is to encourage people to think on the next level..

Guerrilla Marketing is a term that I want everyone to remember. Your going to hear about it quite a bit from me. What is GM? The definition varies a little depending on who you ask. My beliefs? Being aggressive, creative, pound the pavement, face to face with your intended target. Think of it as 'the word on the street on steroids.' The most important function of Guerrilla marketing? Team! The more attractive the team? The better chances of success.

Now, this part of the blog is for my friends Andy and Brea Heck. Andy, when we talked earlier in the week, you asked me what I thought a solid GM team should resemble? Would recruiting be a problem? What product or service would the team promote? The team I'm envisioning will consist of a lot of 20 somethings, it boils down to fact that they are most suited for it (no kids, more flexible). My initial take? Las Vegas is the land of milk and honey when it comes to recruiting for this process. Remember, the economy is not so hot in Las Vegas. That alone will get a number of people to pay attention, whom otherwise wouldn't. At this point, given the proper plan and resources? I don't envision recruiting to be a problem..Andy, I'll have more about a website for you soon..

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."If you want to look at Guerrilla Marketing in layman's terms? It looks like this..Get a bunch of hot girls to work a festival or other crowded events. The main goal of your team is to provide a pleasant experience and get as many emails as possible for your data base. In the end, it's all about getting it off the streets and viral..Guerrilla Marketing will play a significant part in making that happen."

The village idiot of Las Vegas strikes out at the pool..

It's no secret what my favorite thing in Las Vegas is! If you were a single, red-blooded, heterosexual, male? You would feel the same way too. Well, the place I live at is a huge condo/apartment development in SW Las Vegas. SW Las Vegas is notorious for all the beautiful women that live in the area..Lots of dancer's, waitresses, actress, model types. Basically, it's every straight guys fantasy..Now, you would think that as much as I like to talk about them? One of them might consider going out with me..The truth? Most of the women I hit on, are way out of my league. I chatted with my 98 year old grandmother the other day, and she told me this."Robbie, you've got to change your way of thinking about the girls in Las Vegas. Most women are just looking for a nice guy to call their own." Grandma is a purist at heart, her and my Grandpa Astle were married for 72 years..(That's an Astle record that will never be broken).

One of the things about being poor? Your forced to entertain yourself, without spending any money. Thank god! I live in Las Vegas, because pool season? Let's put it this way, it fits the budget well. My apartment is located right above the pool. So, peaking out the window to see what's going on at the pool? It's becoming common place for me. Yesterday, I looked out the window and saw three women sunbathing in  bikinies. Long story short, I slipped on my trunks, grabbed my towel, and made a V-line to the pool.

As I made my entrance into the pool area. I noticed all three of them were sunbathing on the North side. Good for me, the North side of the pool is the deep end, thus hiding the size of my midsection a little better. I than proceed to mosey my way into the pool..The plan was to make my make my way over to their side of the pool, and strike-up a little conversation....It was almost time for me to throw out my standard line, when I started thinking about what Grandma told me.."Robbie, don't get tongue tied when your talking to the girls in Las Vegas. The best thing to do is be honest with them..That's how you will find a new girlfriend."

I'm five feet away from 3 Vegas 10's, and I can't figure out what to say..Then I think about what my grandmother told me, honesty is the policy..So I decided to heed her advice and said.."Damn, I swear to god, I must have woken up at the Playboy mansion this morning." Turns out, I need a new  line..After I made the statement. One of them looks up and says.."Can I help you?" I've gotten pretty good at reading body language and tone, and neither one was good.."I just saw you lovely ladies out here. So I thought I would introduce myself? My name is Rob." She looks at me kind of strange, then she looks at her two friends, then all of them started looking at me. Like I said, I'm really good at perceiving body language and tone..They were giving me that "dude, get lost" kind of look..Now, if I'm good at one thing nowadays? It's taking a hint. So, I left the triplets alone, and made my way back to my side of the pool. The initial plan was to strike up a conversation and then offer them some of the 12 pack I brought with me..As usual it was a no go:(

I like to end my post with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I kid you not, these girls in Las Vegas have the attitude to match their beauty. Or maybe they don't like getting hit on by chubby, middle aged men? Whatever it is? I need to figure out a way to crack the code with these Vegas 10's"

The village idiot of Las Vegas and his friend Mr. Albuquerque..

Long before I was the village idiot of Las Vegas, I sharpened my craft in the town of Albuquerque, New Mexico..Albuquerque is a great town, with a lot of nice people living their. Lots of fun things to do in the town of 700,000. The best way to describe Albuquerque? "It's not to big, and it's not to small." What brought me to Albuquerque? After I graduated college, I wanted to try something new. I had lived in Kansas my whole life, and decided it was time for a change. My mother and sister lived there as well, so I decided why not?

When I first moved to Albuquerque, If memory serves me right it was the summer of 95? Well, I didn't really know anyone, and I had to find a job, so I ended up working at a bank. I was a teller at my fathers banks for a number of years. So I figured why not, maybe I will meet someone and they can lead me to a better opportunity. After all, it's all about connections, and at that time? I had none in Albuquerque. The bank job ended up being a blessing in disguise, Why? That's where I met one of my best friends.

Junior Grierson has spent his entire life in the Albuquerque, his wife is from there. He has seven brothers and sisters, who all live in Albuquerque. OK everyone gets the picture, Junior is Mr. Albuquerque. Now, what makes him really deserving of the title? Junior is the best salesman that I have ever known. For a number of years, he operated a family owned business, that was quite successful. Well, the recession changed things, and now he's opened a small store that specializes in selling SW style beef jerky. I called Junior the other day, and told him about a friend of mine in Kansas who was showing interest in investing.

"Junior, remember that guy in Kansas I was telling you about. Andy Heck. I can tell that he is getting more and more interested in organic growth strategies. I think he will invest, if I can convince him that their is money to be made." I've been in Juniors ear for quite a while about some of my ideas, and he has been very receptive to them. The problem that both him and I share? Lack of investment..

This part of the blog is specific to my friends Andy and Brea Heck. When we talked last, I told you things would be fairly simple to start, and I'm getting that you understand? Picture this. When things go good in Las Vegas, scaling the services will be the next step. One of the best ways to do that? Open a portal for Albuquerque, and have Junior utilize all his connections in the area..

I like to end every post of mine with a thought..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."It's important that Andy and Brea understand what I'm talking about when I say I want to make sure things are scalable..If you mix a web base model with the right connections? The results should make it much easier to get bigger. Think of it as a homie in every neighborhood approach."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks with his ex-wife..

The ex-wife and I split up a few years ago, nothing bad, just grew apart..Anyways, we've maintained a good relationship since our split. Now, the last six months or so the ex and I have been going back and forth on a few of my ideas. When we were married, she wasn't quite ready to hear them. Nowadays, she's all ears. I told her about a mutual friend of ours. This friend is showing lots of interest in a few of the ideas. Anyways, I asked him if he and his wife would come out to Las Vegas in the near future, and take a look at things. He told me he would, but a few conditions had to be met first.

The first condition was that I had to get my father to come out. That one maybe tough, he's gotten stale in his old age, and he never really was a big Las Vegas fan..The second condition? My ex had to come out as well (She lives in Kansas, but hopefully not for much longer)..So I called up the ex and told her that she needs to come out..Her response? "Name the time that is good for Andy and Brea?"
Andy and Brea Heck have been friends of my ex and I for a long time. Brea is a teacher in Kansas, while Andy is a respected business owner.

I like to end my posts with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "I guarantee Andy and Brea that I will have a strong foundation in place if they choose to invest..Melissa (the ex) will play a pivotal part in forming it."

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks relationship with his 98 year old grandmother..

What a treat! I chatted with my 98 year old grandmother in Kansas today. Don't let the age fool you. She's still sharp as a tack. Whenever I talk with her? I always try to explain to her what Las Vegas is like...(The last time she was in Las Vegas? Bugsey Siegel was running the town)..Today I decided to read a post from my blog to her. After the blog, I asked her what she thought of it. She then asked me this.."Robbie, is the girl your talking about your new girlfriend?" I smiled and said.."Grandma I wish that girl was my new girlfriend, but she is way out of my league." "What do you mean she is out of your league. I don't understand."

Understandably, Grandma Astle is a little behind the times (Her and grandpa Astle were married for 72 years) so I had to explain to her how the relationship game is played in Las Vegas.. "Grandma, you should have seen this girl..I'm telling you she was the most phenomenal looking women I've ever seen. Believe me, I would love to call her my new girlfriend. The reality of the matter Grandma? She's caviar and I'm bologna in the relationship chain. All these 10's running around Las Vegas cost money that I don't have. It's just how things work:(" I could tell that I had Grandma's ear when she asked me this.."Robbie how many women are there in Las Vegas? You make it look like a stampede when you describe it." My answer "Stampede is an understatement Grandma." She then laughs and says.."You surely can find one women out in Vegas who doesn't care about the money part of things? To be your girlfriend."

It's never a good idea to tell your grandmother an untruth, she will always no. So I took a moment or two to re-evaluate my opinion on the women in Las Vegas. As much as I would have loved to tell her different? My answer was still the same, even to grandma.."Grandma, I wish it was different, but the poor man misses out on the ladies in Las Vegas. Maybe one of these days one of them will feel sorry for me, but realistically? I doubt it." Grandma's response? "I suppose so, or maybe you should lower your standards?"

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day. "My father and I both agree that Grandma will live to be a 100. That would make her the first Astle centenarian on record. Grandma I love you:)"

The village idiot of Las Vegas returns from vacation..

I'm sorry:( It's tough being me, some times. I've been busy working on a ground force in Las Vegas..That should make sense to a few of the people I know? Anyways, I'm back with an only in Las Vegas story:)

How many of my readers are a fan of Melrose Place? Great show! That and Beverly Hills 90210 was a staple of my 20's. Well, the place I live at in Las Vegas? It's like Melrose Place on steroids. SW Las Vegas is an absolute freak show when it comes to women! And the great thing about it? I live right in the heart of it. The place I live at, is a huge condo/apartment development.(One of the byproducts of the real estate crash? You can get sweet ass deals on some special places in this town..That's if you no where to look, and I know where to look;) Moving on, I know there is a god..He smiles at me every time I look out my window at the pool:)

Picture this! The other day I was sitting in the hot tub, and I hear some one ask me. "How is the water?" I looked up and my eyes just damn near popped out of my head..This girl? I don't even know how to begin to describe her. She was wearing a black bikini that looked like it had been sewn on her. Her skin was mocha, I was guessing Brazilian? Columbian? Her accent kind of hinted that. Anyways, she sits down across from me and smiles..I thought I was going to melt, her eyes were brown and her jawline was perfect. This may sound a little cocky on my end? Sw Las Vegas is loaded with so many beautiful women, that I've kind of become numb to it..With that said, this girl will wake any guy out his coma..A girl like this has heard every line of bullshit a guy has ever thrown. But, I had to take a swing at it none the less.

I've come up with a standard line when I hit on these girls in Las Vegas.."Hi my name is Rob, what's yours?" I've been told my line needs some work, but I don't really feel that way, it works every once in a while..Well, she looks at me and says Carmela. I proceeded to strike up a little conversation with her. It turns out she is from Argentina..She works at a club on the strip, a very nice club, I might add. We proceed to have a nice conversation about a few things..Basically, I was trying not to look like a fool in front of her..Ten minutes or so pass, and she tells me that it was nice meeting, but she had to go. As she's leaving the hot tub, I take a really good look at her..I had to make sure that my eyes were'nt playing a trick on me? They were'nt! I could go on and on about this girl, but I won't..The only word that really sticks in my mind when I describe her? Centerfold..

I like to end my posts with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I know what my problem is, and I've been told this by a number of different people when it comes to the women in Las Vegas..Most of them are a mile out of my league. Maybe I should lower my expectations? Nah..Only 10's is my motto..Maybe that's why I sleep alone so much?"

One last thing, I've been working on some stuff for a couple of my viewers..I'm sorry it's taking a bit longer than I thought, bare with me a bit more, and I will have it for you..Thanks..