Monday, July 16, 2012

The village idiot of Las Vegas talks about his buddy and four women in bed..

I realize the title of this blog post is a bit confusing..It even confuses me a little bit. I tell you what, I'm going to do my best to describe it..Trust me, it's a very bizarre story.

Living in Las Vegas, you see a little bit of everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything! I've got a friend in town by the name of Prego. Now, Prego is a very interesting fella. He was born in Italy, and his family migrated to Boston in the 1970's. He moved out to Las Vegas 15 years ago, and has called it home since. I met Prego a while back at a restaurant I used to work at..What's the best way to describe him? Philanderer is the best word that comes to mind. Anyways, I hadn't talked with him in a while, so I called him the other day.

"Prego, it's Jethro! What the fuck is going on?" Jethro is his nickname for me. He says that I remind him of Jethro Bodine (Beverly Hillbillies). "It's good to hear your voice my friend, I'm in a tough spot right now." When he told me that he was in a tough spot, I knew right away he was having some sort of women problem. He once told me that if god had never created a women..He would be the richest guy in Las Vegas.."What did you do now?" I've heard a number of his hard luck stories when it comes to women..This one? It was bizarre, even by Prego's standards.

"Jethro, I caught my wife in bed with a couple of women." I wanted to make sure that I was hearing him right, so I asked him.."If I heard you right? You said you caught your wife in bed with a couple of women? When you say a couple? How many are you talking about, Exactly?" Prego and his fourth wife are both pigs. Both of them have the morals of an alley cat, so the fact he caught his wife cheating on him? Well, it doesn't really come as a surprise to me. But, I figured she would probably just run off with the mailman or something like that. "It was her and three other girls, all in the same bed." Prego responded..I then asked him what his response was when he first discovered his wife was in bed with three other women? "Jethro, I was dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say. To be honest with you, I didn't have much time to talk. One of the girls who was in bed with my wife, asked my wife if that was him? She then nodded. Well, this crazy bitch grabs a gun off of the nightstand and points it at me. She then tells me that my wife is leaving me, and to pack my shit and get the hell out. For a minute, I thought I was being Punk'd..That's until she pulled the hammer back on the gun. Then I realized it wasn't a joke. So I packed up my shit and moved in with my brother."

Prego's recovery time from broken relationships has always been fast. Turns out, he already has a new girlfriend..That new girlfriend happens to be his second wife (We'll see how long that last)..Anyways, he asks me if I want to get a drink some time? Prego is a fun guy to hang out with! But, this wasn't the first time a girl has pulled a gun on him, and I imagine it won't be the last. I kept having this thought go through my head when he invited me to get a drink: One of his damsels in distress would probably show up at the bar, wanting to settle the score with him. Of course he would duck when the gunfire started, and yours truly would be right in the line of fire. Besides, it's always the innocent, dumb shit, bystander from Kansas who gets shot in situations like that. So I politely declined his request.

I like to end every post of mine with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."Some of these fucking guys in Vegas are insane! One of these days I'm going to see an article in the paper that says 'Jilted lover shoots boyfriend in SW valley'. I won't even have to read the article. I'll know exactly who they are talking about by just reading the headline."



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