It's no secret what my favorite thing in Las Vegas is! If you were a single, red-blooded, heterosexual, male? You would feel the same way too. Well, the place I live at is a huge condo/apartment development in SW Las Vegas. SW Las Vegas is notorious for all the beautiful women that live in the area..Lots of dancer's, waitresses, actress, model types. Basically, it's every straight guys fantasy..Now, you would think that as much as I like to talk about them? One of them might consider going out with me..The truth? Most of the women I hit on, are way out of my league. I chatted with my 98 year old grandmother the other day, and she told me this."Robbie, you've got to change your way of thinking about the girls in Las Vegas. Most women are just looking for a nice guy to call their own." Grandma is a purist at heart, her and my Grandpa Astle were married for 72 years..(That's an Astle record that will never be broken).
One of the things about being poor? Your forced to entertain yourself, without spending any money. Thank god! I live in Las Vegas, because pool season? Let's put it this way, it fits the budget well. My apartment is located right above the pool. So, peaking out the window to see what's going on at the pool? It's becoming common place for me. Yesterday, I looked out the window and saw three women sunbathing in bikinies. Long story short, I slipped on my trunks, grabbed my towel, and made a V-line to the pool.
As I made my entrance into the pool area. I noticed all three of them were sunbathing on the North side. Good for me, the North side of the pool is the deep end, thus hiding the size of my midsection a little better. I than proceed to mosey my way into the pool..The plan was to make my make my way over to their side of the pool, and strike-up a little conversation....It was almost time for me to throw out my standard line, when I started thinking about what Grandma told me.."Robbie, don't get tongue tied when your talking to the girls in Las Vegas. The best thing to do is be honest with them..That's how you will find a new girlfriend."
I'm five feet away from 3 Vegas 10's, and I can't figure out what to say..Then I think about what my grandmother told me, honesty is the policy..So I decided to heed her advice and said.."Damn, I swear to god, I must have woken up at the Playboy mansion this morning." Turns out, I need a new line..After I made the statement. One of them looks up and says.."Can I help you?" I've gotten pretty good at reading body language and tone, and neither one was good.."I just saw you lovely ladies out here. So I thought I would introduce myself? My name is Rob." She looks at me kind of strange, then she looks at her two friends, then all of them started looking at me. Like I said, I'm really good at perceiving body language and tone..They were giving me that "dude, get lost" kind of look..Now, if I'm good at one thing nowadays? It's taking a hint. So, I left the triplets alone, and made my way back to my side of the pool. The initial plan was to strike up a conversation and then offer them some of the 12 pack I brought with me..As usual it was a no go:(
I like to end my post with a thought I'm having..Call it the village idiot thought of the day.."I kid you not, these girls in Las Vegas have the attitude to match their beauty. Or maybe they don't like getting hit on by chubby, middle aged men? Whatever it is? I need to figure out a way to crack the code with these Vegas 10's"
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