I received an e-mail from a reader of my blog the other day, he said - "Your current posts are better than any of your previous ones. The reason is your life looks like a train wreck, and that's what people want to see. Anyways, you make looking like a failure funny." As sad as it is, I try to keep the humor about my situation. I sincerely believe my luck will change. If it doesn't...fuck, that's life.
I met this girl named Roxy a while back. It had been a while since we last chatted so I gave her a call the other day - "Hi Roxy, what's going on? It's your friend Rob." There was a brief silence over the phone and then she says, 'What the fuck do you want?" Roxy is a working girl, a damn good one, and is not into mincing words. "I just wanted to see how things were going, I'm lonely and I was wondering if I could come over?" I don't have a dime to my name, but Roxy has shown her charitable side to me before, so I was hoping she might do it again. As usual, I was wrong - "Look asshole! My services cost money! You already owe me for the last time! Do you have some money? And don't give me this bullshit about how you are going to be rich one of these days and you'll pay me then. I've already fallen for that line once. You want to come over? You better have a pocket full of money!"
I'd used up most of my lines with her, but I still had to try one more -"Roxy, people don't understand how important your services are to society. It's girls like you that keep guys like me from going crazy. Now, I don't have your going rate per se, but if you could find it in your heart to extend me a little credit...I promise! We can settle up when I get the money." It was my last gasp, and unfortunately it didn't work, "Look, I can see that you want to fuck me," she says in a voice that will drive any man insane, "I get it! If you want to come over? I'll take care of all your needs! But you had better have my going rate! Or you can stay home and fuck yourself! Do I need to make that any more clear for you?" I've always admired how the working girls in Las Vegas got right to the point. After all, it's a business to them. I told Roxy I would come see her again when things picked up, and one of these days I would make an honest women out of her. I'm kidding about the honest women part.
I am going to end this post with a thought I am having...call it the village idiot thought of the day - "How do I say this? A girl like Roxy is not a girl you would bring home to meet your mother, that is, unless your mother is a porn star."
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