"I use to love her, but I had to kill her, I knew I'd miss her; so I had to keep her...she's buried right in my backyard...I use to love her; but I had to kill her. She bitched so much; it drove me nuts...I can still her complain."
Use to love her (had to kill her) ~ Guns-N-Roses
A guy in Las Vegas strangled his girlfriend & buried her in the backyard. For one reason or another G-N-R lyrics go through my head every time I think about him.
Talking with Miss Kitty at the pool today:
"How are things going nowadays Rob? I haven't seen anything new on your blog lately. What's the deal?"
"I think about murdering people all day long Miss Kitty. That would not be appropriate material for a blog"
"Oh Rob, thirty million dollars isn't that much. You'll find something else. Geez, you've got to stop telling people you want to murder someone. They're going to think something is wrong with you."
"There is something wrong with me because the feelings are fluid. It was an opportunity that comes around once in several lifetimes Miss Kitty. Thinking about how it went down enrages me to no end. It has put homicidal thoughts at the front of my mind."
"You're being a little ridiculous by saying you want to murder someone," she adds with a snicker, "I can just see it... I'll be watching the news & they'll have a story about a quadruple homicide & you'll be the first guy I think of. The police will be chasing your van down Grand Avenue with a chopper following you overhead. Murder someone...please, give me a break."
My shrink told me to do a certain exercise. It's a Q & A (with myself) reflecting on the cause of my devious thoughts. She also said to keep it brief...I will try my best:
The setting:
Beginning of spring 2013; location Chinatown district of Las Vegas. The future of delivery applications is being molded & Rob Astle is bound & determined to get his piece of the pie!
Pay extra attention to what I'm about to say! It gives clues on why I think about homicides nowadays.
Chinatown districts are a blueprint of what delivery applications thrive on! Blocks upon blocks of restaurants located in the same vicinity. Currently, the Chinatown district in Las Vegas produces millions upon millions in revenue for applications such as DoorDash & Grubhub. In 2013 it is virgin territory for the process.
The murderous thoughts continue.
An associate at the time (who is now a millionaire thanks to the process) convinced me to find some restaurants for him to load on his site. He paid fifty dollars for every restaurant; turns out I'm a natural. In less than a month ten restaurants were signed/sealed & delivered. The majority residing in Chinatown.
"Hurry up! Get to the point already! Tell us why you want to murder some motherfuckers."
Upon delivery he wanted me to get more. I told him I would but the price was going way up for my services. He didn't have the money so the relationship ended. My thoughts, "I'm the guy who gets the restaurants. Why the hell do I need him? I'll start my own site."
Here's the part where the murder feelings begin to surface.
It wasn't the best time for me financially. The recession had taken it's toll and personal resources were scant. Help is needed. Initially, a couple of associates came to town & I gave them the tour. They were not interested, I am disappointed in their decision, but not discouraged. Surely someone else will help.
Pay attention! This is the part where murder thoughts really, really start to take hold!
"Heah man, Billy Bob & Thelma Sue have been calling you a bum & telling everyone you are running a sham & to stay away from your ideas about Chinatown."
The exact words of a lifelong friend as he passed on the opportunity...Billy Bob & Thelma Sue are ex associates & they poisoned the well. I've thought long & hard about why they acted the way they did. I'm still not sure. Who am I kidding? They did it out of spite. They are at the top the murder list!
Okay, you are starting to bore me with all this whining about how people are out to get you. How does the story end?
Me on the streets; broke; criticized & mocked while delivery applications are projected to do 200 billion in revenue by 2025.
Why don't you let it go? Everyone has a hard luck story.
For the longest time I tuned it out; you know, pretend it didn't happen. It's proven impossible realizing the billions in revenue delivery applications produce nowadays & knowing damn well I was at the beginning of it.
Now you are starting to really bore people. Why don't you tell us your perceived opportunities lost so we can be done with this?
I'll describe things briefly on an organic level. They'll be more to come at a later date because murderous thoughts are not fleeting.
First & foremost (in 2013) there is no competition for the service in Chinatown. I'm the only guy there with ten restaurants signed & scores more in sight...two of the original ten signed pay over 50k a year in delivery fees nowadays. What do you think a hundred quality restaurants would have brought in? Do your own math.
A snippet from my last therapy session.
Shrink: Don't worry about things so much. You'll eventually forget about all the opportunities & dreams lost.
Me: I don't think so. The feelings have intensified tenfold since we first started seeing each other.
Shrink: How are you going to get rid of the feelings?
Me: By murdering some motherfuckers!
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